The Deadly Seed

“Fear is just a lie running out of breath…” That’s what my best friend said to me a few weeks ago.

She actually said it with such confidence that I began to wonder how to make him actually stop breathing entirely.

You see I believe fear is like faith. Both are small seeds dropped into the ground. The difference is found in how they grow and what they produce in our lives.

While faith grows into something beautiful and produces a flourishing, fulfilling lifestyle, fear’s growth is ugly and often produces a deadly lifestyle.

Now I don’t know where you stand with fear or how you choose to fight through and overcome moments of stress, worry and anxiety; however, I’ve found in increasingly powerful to speak to the areas of my life where I feel fear. I speak to them in Jesus name and command them to stop growing in my life.

And you know, sometimes my spiritual authority feels weak, so then I choose to just surrender the fear and all that I am feeling to God. I choose to allow Him to solve what feels paralyzingly impossible. I ask Him to provide me with peace that surpasses all my understanding. And then the greatest thing begins to happen. I feel at ease, my stress lowers and I have faith that God is in the midst of what looks incredibly frightening. πŸŒ·πŸ’ƒπŸ» #cultivatelife

(More in video below)

Thanks Death

I’m not one to wallow and get down about life and what I’ve lost, but lately I’ve found myself missing my dad more than I can explain. It’s sometimes unsettling the way he’s constantly on my mind, and then I’m forced to think about my reality. My mind begins to remind me that death happened, but that life has continued to go on around me.

And though it is so challenging to understand why he died so young. And though I miss him and the life my family had before he was taken from this earth… Well I am still so grateful to have experienced death.

You see there’s just something so motivating to me about death. I believe death is a being, and I believe anytime we experience him we must respect him even though he’s been so seemingly disrespectful to us.

You see death left an imprint on my life. He left an imprint so wide and so deep that it sometimes felt unbearable to breathe again.

However, since my dad’s death I’ve been thrusted into this place of living. A place that’s forced me to stare down death and decide that I will not allow my experience with him to define me in a negative way, but in a positive one.

Because of death I live freer. I love harder. I think more in-depth. I take risks. I consider others. And though he’s helped toss my world upside down, I give more. I’ve gained more. I stop and think of others and where they might be in life because there is a compassion inside of me that wasn’t there before I met him.

And… Although it’s so challenging to not become angry and bitter with God, I’ve found myself more connected to Him than ever before. He’s shown me what true love is. And within that true love I never feel truly broken or without.

And though I don’t know where you stand today, what you’ve lost or how utterly broken you may feel… Please know this. I believe it’s very healthy to feel every ounce of death. But then I also believe it’s so healthy to live life to it’s very fullest. To love with every part of our hearts we can love with. And though it’s challenging to forgive and not become angry with God, I’ve found that He will fill in the broken and battered pieces when we’re ready to let Him in again.

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Living in NY and working for your sister has its benefits… Like sitting on a trash bag in the rain at 6am while your sister sits across the street from you doing the same. Why were we sitting on trash bags in the rain at 6am?! Because two auditions were being held that day, and Bridget wanted to be seen at both of them! So… of course we have to get up early and wait in line, no matter the weather condition.

Now if you knew me 6 months to a year ago I would’ve complained the entire time and the night leading up to it all; however, God has drastically changed my heart… So I waited with a selfless/grateful heart!

And as I waited (number 34 in a line of at least 100+), I watched my sister stand at the head of her line on the other side… And that’s when revelation began to pour into my mind.

My entire life I’ve been told Jesus was selfless enough to take on all of my problems and pain in life so I could stand in the presence of God. And though I mindlessly believed it all because that’s how I was raised, my heart didn’t grasp any of it.

Well that all changed as I sat in the rain on a trash bag.

You see the path I’m on with God right now has continuously asked me to have a very humble, selfless heart… One that thinks of others before myself. So for the first time in my life I’m beginning to actually see what it might’ve been like for Christ to do something so amazing for us… So that we can live healthy, free lives: spirit, soul and body.

And let me tell you, watching my sister from across the street was really, really exciting. She was at the head of her line, promised a place in the audition room because I was willing to wait and be her place holder in the other line.

And did it pay off? Yeah… it did. She was seen at both auditions, and called back for the line she waited in.

And I guess what I’m trying to say is this… I am just so grateful to have a relationship with the God that continues to make me well from the inside out… Β And it’s all because Jesus was selfless enough to stand in line for me. πŸ’ƒπŸ»πŸ™ŒπŸ» #cultivatelife

The Smallest Seed

The smallest seed planted in the garden… The one that is cultivated with hope and love… That’s what faith is.

It’s not always easy. It’s sometimes a challenge. It requires a lot of feeding, sunlight and attention, but I promise you it will grow into something bigger than you imagined.

Faith is lifestyle my friends.

It’s not something we pick up when we’re desperate for healing or an answer. It’s an alive being we coast through life with. It is the foundation which we should all be build upon.

And Jesus… You know that guy everybody seems to argue about. Yeah, He’s kind of like the sun in the sky… Always willing and able to provide the light the seed will continuously need to get up and grow.

So please, please be encouraged to have faith in your heart… Even when conditions look way to dark to develop and grow. πŸŒΈπŸ’ƒπŸ» #cultivatelife

(More in video below!)

When the War Wages

Do you ever feel like your mind… that your soul is being completely assaulted?

Yeah… That’s where I’ve been for at least three weeks now. In this on and off war, and what (at times) feels like a complete assassination of my being.

It’s not fun. It’s ugly. It’s torturous at times. But mostly, it’s spiritual warfare.

I keep fighting back with truth…. The truth of Christ, but the war still manages to wage on.

And my enemy… You know the one of my soul, he continues to attack three particular areas.

First and foremost, he always goes for my body image…. Or the way I physically view myself. I think he knows attempting to destroy me in this area will ultimately destroy me in the other areas because I’ve build up so much false security here in the past.

However, if he can’t get me here… Well then he reminds me that I don’t operate off of the world’s system for attaining provision, wealth and financial security. He shows me that I could have more if I would simply hustle my way to the top of his kingdom.

And if he still cannot get me to crack… Well then he probes at my identity, Cultivate Life and all that God has promised for it. And then he proceeds to remind me how much of a failure he believes I am for trusting in God and His plans, rather than following the world and it’s schemes for getting ahead.

This is always a deep blow.

And… so I am usually left in a puddle on the floor. A complete puddle of frustration and tears. You see I can usually handle him in one or two areas, but when he comes after all three I seem to crack.

I don’t like it at all. It’s cruel and unjust to who I am at my core as a child of God.

So… How do I overcome it? Well, though I’m not the best… I simply remind the enemy of my soul of truth. If he comes after my body image, I remind him that I don’t place value in my body, but in God and His undying love and acceptance of me. If he attempts to remind me that I can make more money and attain more through his system, then I remind him that God has always done far better… And that I need more than what money can provide. I need faith, peace, love and joy. And then… if he tries to assassinate my identity and Cultivate Life, well by that point I’m so tired, frustrated and done with him that I usually demand and command that he leaves in Jesus name.

And then he leaves… And I’m exhausted. But… a battle within the war is won through the name of JesusΒ βš”οΈ #cultivatelife

Keep Moving Forward

We moved again yesterday… To another borough in the same city, but my point being is we MOVED!

Moving is the one thing I fully believe keeps the Holy Spirit active and alive in our lives. We have to keep moving forward with Him, wherever He leads.

And sometimes movement isn’t more than getting up in the morning while being present. Then others days it’s accomplishing 100 things we have to do for others, God and ourselves.

But regardless, the key… The secret is to keep moving… Past the regret, the pain, the confusion, the frustration, the disappointment, the limbo… Even the happiness and joy that we might feel… We must KEEP MOVING FORWARD! πŸ’ƒπŸ»πŸŒ· #cultivatelife

(More in video below)

Spiritual Warfare

When I was a kid I always thought spiritual warfare was this thing that was over when the war was won. And while that’s true, I never really considered how many wars and battles could go on at one time. I also never considered that spiritual warfare is a lifestyle. It’s not a fad we pick up for a moment and then toss to the side when the war has been won or (God forbid) we’re tired because we’ve been praying for days on end.

You see there is a constant war between dark and light/good and evil going on around us. And although most of us can’t see it, it’s very real and extremely intense.

So… how do we fight in this war? Well when you believe in Jesus Christ that means you’re filled with the power of the Holy Spirit. His power is actually stronger than the powers of darkness and evil. However, we can’t use His power unless we are willing to speak in the name of Jesus.

Jesus’s name is basically like the sword we fight with in the war.

So next time you feel overwhelmed in your mind… Next time you know you’re up against something a human being alone cannot solve… Then speak to the darkness that surrounds you. Tell the evil it can’t come any further because you have a relationship with Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit lives inside of you. And then please be encouraged to make this your lifestyle βš”οΈπŸ’ƒπŸ» #cultivatelife

(Video below for more)