Dad, I wish you could see mom right now… Or maybe you can, but if you can’t I wish you could because she is handling herself with such grace. Right now she’s organizing things because we finally have time to get things in order. No more chasing around a potential home owner… God answered our prayers and the buyers backed out, so we can finish the house the way you planned…. Before we lost you. Before you knew death was about to become a reality. When you were somewhat healthier and planning to build a beautiful house for someone to call their home.
And mom is so beautiful in everything she’s doing. The way she’s choosing to tackle all of this… It’s impressive and admirable. I think you’d be happy you choose her to be your wife… I know I’m happy she’s my mother. And she does keep saying, “this sucks. This shouldn’t be happening. I hate this and want dad back.” But…. she’s still moving forward and that’s what matters in this moment… that she has the strength to move forward in possibly the darkest days of her life. We all know mom has made it through so much. She’s strong. Some people… well… some people can handle low blows. They can take them and still stand up and conquer life, and mom is one of them for sure.
I’m not one of them though. I’m pretty weak for the most part. I whine and complain so much… And I love to point the finger at others rather than look inside myself. A lot of times I’d rather talk about the negative than look at the positive… I wish I could be more like the strong… Like my mom.
But, while I work on becoming stronger… I’ll look to her. She says her strength comes from the Lord, and I believe that… But I also wonder how much of her strength was cultivated throughout the years… when she had to choose to walk through some painful times. Did she gain strength from the Lord in those times, so now it makes this time easier? It seems somewhat easier for her. And I love how my grandmother is handling the entire situation. Since she lost her husband so young, she knows what my mom is going through… So she just sits. She sits and lets mom cry because I guess there’s nothing you can really possibly say to make it better.
So… I’m learning from her too. Mere has so much unconditional love. It’s truly remarkable. I admire it and hope to show my husband and children the same love one day. Mom keeps saying, “we’re steel magnolias…” And I know what she means by that because of the film Steel Magnolias, but I don’t understand it at all. And when she says it people look at her like she’s crazy, but she fully understands what she means… Which makes the entire scenario so much better.. And I kind of drop my head and giggle a little.
And if a steel magnolia is a positive thing… If it represents strength in the midst of adversity, then I truly hope I can become one.