darkness · death · grief · vulnerability



Since dad’s death I’ve been learning that our struggles, our heartbreaks and heartaches…. well, they connect us. I’ve known for a while that life’s experiences connect us and bring us together, but most of the issues in my life have been so surface level and touchable. I’ve been able to connect with people, but never truly relate on a deep level.

I feel like this changed with dad’s death. I mean, cancer is common among so many now. And most know and understand the roller coaster ride it takes the patient and the entire family on. And then tacking on death…. death is universal. There’s not a single person in the world that will ever not know death. It’s waiting on all of us to experience with the loss of a loved one and then of course when we die.

But in expressing all of this… because I’m still so new to this thing called death…. I’m seeing that, while death is a struggle, a real ride and experience in life, it’s also beautiful because it brings so many closer together.

Ironically, now when I get sucked into watching the Kardashians…. well, I can feel and understand their pain. I know what it’s like to have your father diagnosed with cancer and then have him gone in such a short time. Not to mention they were the around the same age when their father passed.

So though I don’t know them personally, I do feel their pain and I hate it. Because it’s pain that will never go away. It’s pain that may get easier, but it’s always there… a constant nudge that dad is gone and never returning.

But at the same time, there’s something so beautiful about the fact that I can connect with them… that we’ve shared similar experiences and now probably share similar thoughts.

And it causes me to questions… Why, why do the darker moments seem to pull us closer than the lighter? Why does heartbreak and death connect us on a deeper level? How can I all of a sudden feel closer to Kim Kardashian over the loss of father rather than over body insecurities?

Is it because the pain is deeper, more real and that universal to all? Or, do I simply not need to know the answer, but I should feel grateful that I can connect with others on a real level now? Whatever the answer may be, I am once again grateful for this. I am grateful for this life lesson and ability to connect with so many more souls.

Then of course leave it to Bridge to continue to quote one of her favorite actresses, “It’s unfortunate and I really wish I wouldn’t have to say this, but I really like human beings who have suffered. They’re kinder.”-Emma Thompson

And I believe what she says it true. Though I haven’t suffered too much…. the loss of my father is painful and I am suffering some. Suffering with the idea that joy, life and happiness does come again.

So…. Death is making me kinder. It’s causing me to want to reach out and touch a world in so much pain and need of help. It’s causing me to want to find a way to spread life and a want to become better and not bitter with life. It’s also causing me to want to show others that death, while it is final can be beautiful. It can be amazing and we don’t have to be angry.

Instead we can be kinder and sympathize with those around us. We can simply connect and love through our struggles that are pretty universal.

Leave a Reply