Unordinary Clothing

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Lately I’ve been giving myself these speeches about opportunity and reminding myself that they’re all around me.

Ironically, I didn’t realize how quickly I may need to take certain opportunities to move me forward into the great unknown called “my life.”

I’ve also begun to recognize that opportunity is sometimes clothed in unordinary clothing. What might seem like nothing could actually be the door for something wonderful and exciting in life.

Living in L.A. I have to remind myself of this everyday. Because what I see at first glance… well, it might be just that… first glance. There might be so much more I find within the initial opportunity.

And I say all of this because I feel somewhat unsure of where I am going and what I am doing. I know very few things about myself and what I would like to do in life…. and though that might be overwhelming…. well it’s what it is.

I’ve also had somewhat of a challenge realizing that life out here is nothing like life in the South. In the South…. most have the same job their entire life. It’s comfortable and settling to know you have security. I mean my father was in construction for more than 30 years… yes he did move about and work his way up the ladder of success… but construction and carpentry were his trade. The thought of anything else wasn’t a possibility.

And I guess you could say that I’m extremely different than my dad in that way. My life has been changing and evolving significantly since I was around the age of 18…. moving for community college, to bible college, to BAMA and then back to Dallas to start a business…. it was all part of this incredible journey that I’m on called life.

And honestly, I’ve glad life is the way it is. I’m happy it’s a journey. A roller coaster. Like climbing a mountain in search for what I truly want to do in life.

I believe that if you want something bad enough, long enough and work hard enough…. well you’ll get it. I had the want for confidence in myself, the want for confidence in my body, the want for freedom of religion and the want for so much for that I’ve received throughout life.

So it’s no surprise to me that now I find myself discovering what I truly want in life…. and well in expressing that, opportunities are opening and some are closing…. and within that I should take what lines up and matches up with what I’ve expressed I want.

I have to remind myself of the summer I wanted confidence so badly…. I needed it more than I needed anything in that moment. So…. I found a group of friends and an environment that assured I would gain those things. And honestly, I found some of the realest friends I’ve ever had. I found a group of people who love to have fun and taught me to have fun and enjoy life. I honestly didn’t realize hanging out with a person one time would open my life up to so much…. but it did and I am so grateful.

Grateful for the opportunity that I created. Grateful for that opportunity that led to so much more. And… it will continue to give into my life.

And I think that’s one thing I am learning the most about right now. This thing called opportunity. Most are created by us because we’ve made a choice to be in the moment we are in…. but most of us aren’t looking at the fact that we created them… that we have a responsibility for the sheer fact that they are standing right in front of us…. I mean, I basically created the opportunity to move to Cali… and then when it seemed like the opportunity was presently itself in full form, well I took it.

I blindly took it… not knowing where it would lead me next or who it would lead me to. It was really a game of chance, a roll of the dice, a hand of cards: faith.

And now as I sit here… continuing to learn about this thing called opportunity… how he works and what he does… it’s important for me to remember the two things I know I want from life and the one thing I am certain I am good at…. because in reminding myself of that…. well it helps the decision I might have to make much clearer.

It also helps take away any anxiety I might be feeling. And honestly, I believe we choose to be anxious about the stupidest things in life. As Americans, we are very well off and then choose to be anxious over our first world problems (i’m speaking to myself here).

So…. I guess in this moment…. I should look forward to whatever comes next, but live right here… And right here promises new opportunities that I helped created and now need to pursue so that they may become part of the great destiny I’m in pursuit of.

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