Tired…. jumbled… but surprisingly at peace on the inside…. my life continues to evolve as each new day develops into something new…. something wonderful…
And I can’t always put my finger on what’s next, but I live with the idea that life will continue to give to those who give to it…. Some of us think it to be God, and I believe it’s true… that when we honor others with love and kindness he honors us in return…. with the same amount of respect and gratitude…
But when expressing to God what you do and do not want in life…. well it’s important to be specific… especially when he’s told you to be specific…. but at the same time, in being specific… I get nervous and overall a little anxious.
I mean, what if in expressing what I want…. well I miss it because I’m not looking for what I want…. like it’s coming in a different kind of clothing than I’m used to seeing… wrapped up differently than the design that I created in my mind…. so in that case, I should keep myself open.
But then I think it’s wise for all of us to keep our minds open…. open and willing to accept what life serves us. I believe life to be a gift… a gift for each one of us. And it’s our responsibility to use that gift called life to the best of our ability.
And the longer I live out here in Cali…. separated from my family and friends…. well the longer I realize I’m changing. This gift called life for me is changing with each experience I have…. and sometimes it’s sad for me to admit that I’m done with specific parts of life.
Like right now… well right now it’s time for me to pick friends… to find a group of people I genuinely enjoy being around…. when it comes down to it… I like to have fun and I love to be entertained…. and more than anything I love to try new things…. I think it’s the curious side of me….
So when picking friends I’m realizing that I’m done going out and partying… I’m finished with that lifestyle being my lifestyle. Honestly, I enjoyed college so much. I lived it and had fun in those moments… I don’t regret those times or the friends I made… and I believe I’ll be connected to them for life…. because they genuinely taught me so much.
So in knowing that and seeing it for what it is…. it’s important for me to recognize my next step…. which I believe is out there and closer to be than I even realize.
I want friends that like to have fun and love to laugh…. and of course make me laugh…. my friends would agree that laughter, or maybe I should say giggling is at the top of the list for me. I love to giggle.
And I want people I can learn from…. I truly enjoy learning and growing so very much… The cool thing about being so far away from home is that there are so many people out here that are different… I mean truly different than the norm for me.
And in saying all of these things… I’m choosing to express myself because I want to throw all of this out into the universe and gain something in return…. and I also like having the ability to talk through things with myself when I get anxious and begin to wonder when I’ll get what I’m asking for…. I can be very impatient at times. Especially in the midst of life happening.
So…. as this all comes to a close…. I think it’s best for me to just keep living in the present…. because I could happen to bump into the next gift life is waiting to give me.