The Weak One

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I have a confession to make…. I’ve known it for a long time…. but I’m a weak person…

No really I am… I’m weak… weak… not strong…

I’m weak because I make excuses for myself and others have made excuses for me m entire life to help me “feel better”….

So it should come at no surprise that my box basically picks on me at work… I can never do anything right in her eyes…. and honestly…. it’s good for me to get picked on… it’s good for my flaws to get pointed out…. it’s good that I go above and beyond because I want to and that my efforts go unnoticed…

At this point in my life…. the place I am in and all that I am doing and moving towards…. this is good…. I need someone to pick on me and give me a hard time….

It’s helping me…. though it seems rude and unexplained… I’m counting it as a blessing no one else is really looking at… a blessing to become strong… strong and confident and courageous in myself…. in who I am and what I can do….

Because at the end of the day…. when I truly sit down and think about it…. well I won’t have this job for that long…. I won’t be connected to these people too long…. but I will be connected to them long enough to help me grow, to mature and to become confident in me a little more….

Picking on the weak can be healthy…. because those of us that are weak…. well we can either remain weak our entire life or get out…. we can move forward and cease some kind of good life….

So…. I truly believe this is just another blessing…. a wake up call… and an answer to my prayers…. an answer to my wants and needs….

God knows I need strength and he’s making me work for it…. which is causing me to do summersaults on the inside because I’m a little frustrated and annoyed…. but… with time and a good attitude… well…. I’ll get there…

I just mentioned to someone the other day that I’m willing to go the difficult challenging route to become me… I’m willing to encounter the times of feeling alone, weak and insignificant out here in Cali…. because one day…. one day the story will change…. and I won’t be the weak one anymore…

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