Humble Moment

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What makes the west coast different from the south?…. Well the fact that no one really cares about you the way they do in the south…

I’m so used to “southern hospitality”…. So accustomed to meeting people and learning about them…. It’s engrained into me to care and to want to know about others and make people feel welcome and loved….

But out here….. Out here life is so very different… Especially in L.A….. People don’t really care…. There’s too much focus on self….

And I find myself loving my southern roots that much more… I find myself appreciating the place I was raised…. It’s just so much different than this place….

And I don’t know where my life is going from this point…. From this moment….

I don’t know where this year of my life will take me….

A year ago…. Well a year ago…. I was in Dallas trying to make a business… A dream a reality…. I was sick too… Mentality sick and stressed…. Losing too much weight… Overwhelmed…. And I wanted to kill my best friend…. If he didn’t kill me first….

Dad was still alive too…. He was alive and I still had a whole, complete and functioning family….

Life’s different now… It changed shape… And it’s evolving so much… Sometimes I feel like it evolves everyday….

New thoughts… New people… New experiences…

And I’ve been encouraged to discover myself…. To truly live in this moment and break me down… To not allow myself to become distracted with the things that are around me…. But to be consumed with what’s inside of me… To really become a friend of myself…

And honestly… It’s a challenge… It’s so much easier to allow myself to remain distracted…

But… this morning I’ve allowed myself to take a solid glance at what I’m gaining in the moment…. and once again…. I feel blessed…

A long with bitterness, jealousy and judgment…. I struggle with pride…. Having this “know it all” attitude… It’s really ridiculous… And I’ve made excuses for it for years… I’ve also had friends help me dig my way out of it all and truly embrace humility…. But I know deep down that it’s still a struggle…

It used to take effort to ask questions when I didn’t know the answer…. and I used to hate being wrong… I’d always act like I had the answer or knew what someone was talking about….

Today things are a little different…. but I see this opportunity to seize humility again…. So I’m going to take it….

We hired a new nanny…. She’s from New Zealand (the country I want to travel to the most)… which is cool to begin with…. A long with being so friendly and kind…. She’s also 19… And it’s never struck me until this moment….

In moment I am trying to accommodate the mother of the children better… I am trying to meet her expectations and learn how to be better…. Which can be challenging…

And I find myself asking someone 7 years younger than me how to do my job better… because she is a better nanny than I am… She’s better with the children and they listen to her more than they listen to me….

So in this moment…. I find myself asking someone younger than me “how?”… How can I be better? How do you handle the kids? What causes them to listen to you? What does the morning routine look like to you?

And… in the midst of it all… I can see myself growing some… Or I can see that I have grown… Because I am willing to ask questions to be excellent and accomplish what’s in front of me… I am willing to go out of my way… To lower the gate of pride and embrace humility… to admit that I don’t know, so I need someone to teach be how… to teach me a better way… And in this case it’s ways and tricks I don’t know or haven’t stumbled upon…

And it’s so helpful… and I love that we can do life like this together… That others can help us in ways they don’t even realize… While she thinks she’s helping me with the children… She’s really helping me become a better, more humble version of me…. And honestly, I’m ok with that…

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