Follow Your Arrow

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Follow your arrow where ever it points….

That’s basically how my best friend sent me off to L.A…. my side of the apartment empty… my car loaded… lunch at one of the best places to eat in Dallas…. and then this song…. a song I had never heard before…. encouraging me to stay alert and just follow my own arrow…

Now I’ve been here 8 months… I don’t include dad’s death as time spent here… so 8 months in SoCal… and you know what… I’ve been following my arrow….

Yesterday I found myself sitting in an orientation for Make-A-Wish…. and I don’t really know where my arrow is guiding me…. I just know that I want to give more of myself to others… I want to help people in my own way…. so volunteering seemed like a good fit for now….

And as I sat down in my seat to listen to the speaker… all I could think was “follow your arrow”…. and I don’t really know how you do that…. I think you just kind of begin to figure yourself out…. what you do and don’t want…. struggle with the major issues holding you back… or the ones causing you to feel like you have to fit in with society….

Then as you work through the details…. well it’s almost like answers begin to fall out…. and I found myself missing work for a few hours yesterday just to make this orientation…

Of course if you know me really well… then you know missing 3 hours of work would send me into a tailspin because then I won’t make as much money in my pay check… which triggers my fear of money…

But that didn’t happen at all…. I actually didn’t even consider the fear of money until after I asked my boss if I could go and come into work late…. and you know what…. I was actually proud again in that moment…. another little moment of victory….

So if I hadn’t followed my arrow here and gotten rid of my fear of money…. I might not have been able to follow it to the next point… which I guess it going through with becoming a Make-A-Wish volunteer…

And so here I am…. and life doesn’t always feel up…. it doesn’t always feel positive… it’s not always easy to follow your arrow… and I feel most challenged now to follow my arrow into the area of riding myself of drama and control….

For some reason it feels like it’s going to be a challenge… like a big one…. but then again…. maybe it won’t be at all… Maybe it will be easy…. maybe I just need to practice a little every day….

So following my arrow seems to be a good plan… even when it feels like it isn’t…. even when the road seems a little curvy and bumpy…. because it those moments… the curves and the bumps…. i guess those are the moments we truly grow and come a little closer to what we are mean tot be and do….

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