Value Perceptions

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I had a conversation two days ago that hasn’t left my mind…. My boss was telling me that someone broke into the neighbors house and ransacked it… obviously they were looking for “things”…

And then I said “well, that makes me nervous to walk to my car alone at night now.” and her response, “oh Amanda, they don’t want you. They want your stuff and you don’t have anything.”

Funny…. people wanting stuff… and the thought that because I don’t have anything of true monetary value…. well it means I don’t have anything….

It’s funny because our world is so skewed… we value what’s in our home over what’s in our heart….

And living in L.A. makes that truth more of a reality…. this city has misperceived the value of things so much….

And I think her statement to me is even more important since I’ve been working on valuing myself… it just sticks out… and it continues to remind me that it’s so important to value what ‘s in me and what’s in the people around… it reminds me not to truly value what sparkles and shines on the outside… but to focus on the inside…

Because at the end of the day… well it’s all just stuff… the stuff we accumulate here and now… for a time… until something better is created… or until we feel like what we have isn’t good enough anymore… or of course until “they” tell us we need more… something else to place on our finger or in our garage…

And in reality it’s so useless….

I had another thought that supported this conversation last night… one of the girls was listening to a song…. and the song said “I was raised by a television”… and that line stuck with me… because I began to think “it’s so true”…. a TV did raise me… or helped raise me…

And the reason I have a miscued perception is because of what I’ve been taught through what I’ve seen on TV…. because I was taught to value the tangible over the intangible…

And things like this really bother me… they bother me because I know I need to value me more… I need to place what’s inside of me over what I see… but it’s still a challenge at times… to care more about the intangible…

And then when I think about dad being gone… and how I miss him… his love, his kindness, his jokes… just his entire personality…. the things that were gone the moment he stopped breathing… well it helps me remember it really is just stuff…

Of course then it makes me want to tell my boss “you know… it’s a shame no one would want to steal me… because what’s on the inside of me is more valuable than what’s in that house”…

And I think what I’m trying to tell myself is I should value myself enough to think “what’s inside of me is worth stealing…. it’s worth taking… it’s that valuable… but then it’s also so valuable that only those who know true value are looking”…..

And I guess realizing that people that know true value attract and look for others with true value is good for me to think on…. Because it might just be my next step to becoming and staying focused on what’s truly important… And that’s ok with me…

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