Steady, Secure and Uncertain

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/781/13106950/files/2015/01/img_2318.pngI feel so uncertain of life… Not knowingness what my next move will be or where life will take me next… And I don’t feel secure in anything more than myself right now…

Because I know I don’t want to nanny forever… And I don’t want to live in Cali forever… But it’s where I am right now… And so living from the now is so important…

But I realized something today… Something that has become so much more true with in the last year….

And that’s that no ones life and future are certain… So many of us live these lives that seem to be so concrete… Like we have the idea that this is how life will go and it won’t change without me planning the change…

And it’s so much easier to welcome change when we’ve planned it… But when it’s unplanned… When suddenly something happens in life we didn’t see coming… Something that truly rocks our foundation at its very core… Well then… Then all of a sudden life is uncertain…

And in saying this I’ve realized that life was uncertain before my dad died… I just didn’t realize it… It was also uncertain before I moved and before I the job I have now… I just didn’t live with an uncertain mindset… A mindset that says “life can change at any moment.. And I’m just here to enjoy and ride it out the best way possible”…

So I’m a way it’s comforting to think everything around me is uncertain… Constantly in a state of movement and changing daily….

And I think it encourages me to continue to be like the nature I see around me… Because nature sees a lot of uncertainly… But the flowers still bloom in the Spring and the leaves still fall in the Fall… They are confident and secure in themselves enough to do what they were created to do… Regardless of what goes on around them…

And I think I should continue to watch nature… And be in awe of what I see and how truly fascinating it is to just live and be with the changes that go on around…

And for me… Today… As I head back to Cali… With a heavy heart…. But a light mind… Well I’m just going to continue to stay steady, secure and so uncertain…

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