Growing Up… 

Throughout childhood, we’re constantly asked the question, “what do you want to be when you grow up?”…

For so many reasons I’ve never felt like I had an answer…

Sure… At times I may have responded with something that sounds like an answer… But deep down I’ve never had an answer…

And then I’ve had years were I was convinced “this is what I will do with my life”…

But then, through a series of events, I realized “maybe I don’t want to do this”…

And so I’ve found myself in Cali… I’ve actually discovered who I am here… And the reasons why it’s ok to just be me…

And sometimes just being me really bothered me… A lot…

Because I was insecure… Because I was lost and out of touch with reality… Because I didn’t like the person everyone and everything had helped me become…

Deep down I felt like I didn’t have a voice at all… And then when I knew I had something to say… Well I was too deceived to speak what I thought…

So now I find myself with myself… I’ve actually discovered who I am…

And within it all… Well I’ve become much more than confident… Because I’ve become bold…

And honestly it’s through following the Holy Spirit that’s brought me this far…

But this morning I had this thought… I’m grown… I’m 27… And what am I?… What have I become as I’ve grown up?…

Because I’m not a teacher, a doctor, a mother, a wife or a slew of other titles I could be…

And I guess the answer is found in the simplicity of… I’m just me… I’m just a girl, from Louisiana… Who went to Bible school and hated it… Who graduated from Alabama… With a degree I was able to create, but that sparked my interests at the time… A girl who decided I despised religion… But love relationship with God…

A girl who felt so lost when moving to LA… But a girl who has transitioned into a woman… A woman that simply does life every single day… Regardless of the ups and downs… I strive to stay present and love the bad times with the good times…
And I sit here grateful… Grateful that I’ve never really known “what” I wanted to be when I grew up… Because I believe my perception about life at the time would’ve confused the process…

And I was already confused enough…

And as different as it may sound… Well I’m glad I can’t always see what’s coming next… Because the surprise of living my life with the Holy Spirit’s guidance, direction and friendship is so much better than “this is what I want to be when I grow up”….

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