Closing My Mouth…

img_8948It’s seems as though there’s an age old battle going on inside of me…And it simply lies in my ability to open and close my mouth…

I was raised in an environment that encouraged me to talk about others…

I can remember having a family dinner one time… I had to have been about 10… My mom, sister and I were sitting there discussing everyone we could think of… Downplaying their existence… Then… Out of nowhere, my dad gets up from the table…

He was angry… Angry that we were gossiping… That we were spending “family dinner” talking about the shortcomings of others…

He just wanted us to stop… To just enjoy the meal before us on the table… But instead we were just gabbing away…

And as I tell this story… Well it causes me to think about how my Heavenly Father has to feel…

God is simply trying to be a part of my day… Each moment… My life… In so many ways… Well he’s asked me to sit down at a table with him and feast on good things…

But I continue to find myself in the corner with the staff… Discussing the shortcomings of all that are seated at the table…

While those at the table are enjoying their meals quietly… Just celebrating… I’m looking for things to downgrade…

And I hate this… So much so that I feel sick… I had dreams last night that weren’t kind…

And I honestly just want to live… I just want to do me… To not become concerned and consumed with others…

And so… I believe moving forward.. Moving forward I need to simply keep my mouth closed…

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