Practice Makes Grace…

Why does it feel so hard that have grace sometimes?…

Why does it feel so difficult to just let things go and move on?…

Why do we have to experience hurt and pain from those around us?…

Why can’t the grown adults in my life grow up and be adults?…

Why was I taught to accuse others?… To become bitter, angry and hateful?…

Why can’t I just choose to love and to leave it all in the hands of God?…

These are the questions that lay inside my mind this morning… My mind that has created so many scenarios over things that probably aren’t true…

And how I want to be so angry with certain people for not having grace and live towards others…

In reality… I believe I should just have grace with the ones that I feel are acusing…

And this is one of the biggest reasons I hate religion… One of the main reasons my family can let me go from cool and collected to fuming red and totally scattered on the inside…

And I truly believe this is not only an opportunity to practice grace and allow God to carry the weight… But I also believe it’s a crucial moment in my life…

Almost like a foundational moment for the next season of life I’ll enter…

A moment that is asking how I’ll choose to handle life when it presents me with things that make me want to be my old self… With things that are so evil looking at their core…

And I truly believe the answer is just simple grace… But I honestly need God to be stronger and show me how to have grace here… Because I don’t want to…

I don’t want to… But I need to…

Because in reality… Well it’s the only thing I see that will help me just live…

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