Loving My Body…

Just recently I had a conversation with a friend about health and fitness…

Knowing the journey I’ve been on in life with my weight, image and overall approach to health, she asked if I had “gained a better understanding” of what it means to gain our confidence from within…

I thought about it for a moment… And then realized something…

Honestly, it’s taken me time to respect my inner beauty over my outer beauty…

I definitely feel more confident when clothes fit me well, but the place I was in 3 years ago was scary… I let outer beauty and its importance take me over… It became such a form of control in my life…

But then… Living and working out here in Cali taught me so much about myself…

And I think just being in an environment everyday where I didn’t feel judged by anyone for the way I looked definitely helped… Kimora was a supermodel, but she never looked down on me for the way I did or did not look… She really just helped me accept myself… And I’m still not sure how…

And the kids too… They didn’t love me for the way I looked… They loved me for being myself and giving them what they needed, 120% of the time…

But… I think more than anything, just accepting myself helped has cured me…

Accepting who I am internally has caused me to love who I am externally… I will never ever be super tiny… I’m taller and bigger boned than what Ive been taught I should be… And my chest I broader, which I’ve always disliked…. And I don’t have huge boobs, which I’ve also disliked before…

Plus, I hated all of the stretch marks and extra skin left on my body from weighing so much for so many years…

But the truth is, no one sees any of this but me… And if people care, then they aren’t looking at my heart… They see surface things…

This is my body…  It’s my story… I live my life in it everyday and it deserves to be appreciated as much as my spirit and soul do…

Plus, I’m going to live every single day in this frame for the rest of my life, so I have to continue to learn to love it…

And… As silly as it may sound… I recently started speaking and sending more positive thoughts to the parts of my body I still struggle loving, and it’s helping SO much!..

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