Selfless Solution…

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Image, 2014

Selflessness… It’s a place of pure heart and soul… It’s not a boastful place… It’s not a jealous, angry or bitter place… It’s not a place where pride, lust or envy can stand… Selflessness is a very protected place… It’s found straight within the heart of Father God… And it’s an attribute that is completely innate to His character… His love… His very being is selfless…

And I don’t mean the selfless heart of a parent who sets Himself aside to care for His child who needs Him… I mean a type of selflessness that doesn’t allow anyone to feel inferior to another…

Because I’m coming to a place… A very distinct place in my heart… One that’s causing me to look at what we (as humans) are creating in our social worlds… And I can’t say hate is the word… Because the word I have is far different than that… I basically feel broken on the inside…

Because I believe real selflessness is the ability to look around and see how much we are destroying one another in our world… To see it and to stop… Because where is our vulnerability, our reality, our realness and our truth?…

My sister, whom many believe is making “bank” on artwork, isn’t… She’s living with me in expensive L.A… In a one-bedroom apartment… Her room and art studio is our living room… And she usually makes just enough to pay for rent, bills and food… And sometimes mom helps out… That’s what no one sees….

Me, I left my job… Yeah, the really cool, fabulous, celebrity-driven one… I left that one in February… Not knowing what was next, but knowing in my heart it was time to go… That that chapter of my life was over… And I’ve been living off of savings since.. And it hasn’t been fun all the time… Sure, there are moments when I think, “Gah, this is a great adventure,” but a lot of the time I find myself thinking, “what the heck am I doing?!”…

And I talk to my friends… They’re spread all over the world… Truly… And guess what… From marriage, to death, to divorce, to college and babies… They’re going through ups and downs too…

But then we’ve helped create and encourage this place… Our social world… A place where we give others a false image of what we want them to see us doing… Because then we believe we’ll feel better for the areas where we don’t feel like we’re adding up… Yeah, we might call it “being creative”… Or, as the kids say, “it’s all about the Instagram flow”…

But I honestly believe it’s one of the most selfish thing we can do…

To cause someone else to feel insecure and inferior about how his or her life isn’t adding up and fitting the social norms of life…

Why aren’t we breeding confidence and security in one another?… Why aren’t we talking about the reality and struggle it’s been to get from point A to point B… Yeah, sure I traveled the world last year for “free,” but did anyone see what it took for me to get there?… No one really knows how long it took for me to grow close to this family… I’m gonna be honest, it was a bitch… An uncomfortable one, that required patience and a total heart change on my end…

So as I sit here, I continue to wonder… How much longer is this going to go on?… How much longer are we going to be selfish and cause those next to us to feel less than they are?… And I get it.. We can’t make anyone feel anyway… But that’s just it… Through our images of life, we are… Our inability to be vulnerable and authentic is breeding and multiplying so many insecurities… Just look at most teen girls.. They wear enough makeup to be the lead in a Broadway production… It’s not pretty… It’s just sad… And no one is giving them a more powerful alternative…

So… I believe we need to come together and be a selfless solution, not a selfish problem…

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