Loving Self, Being Me…

img_2611Perfect, whole, complete love… It truly doesn’t allow fear to stand… It’s who God the Father is at His very core… A complete picture of complete love… Love that lacks nothing… That doesn’t cause us to ever feel insecure… In any situation…

Because I’ve searched my entire life for confidence, for security, for self-esteem… I’ve read books, pushed the limits of my insecurities… I’ve tried so hard to become confident with my own efforts…

And yes, yes to a degree what I’ve done has worked… But in so many ways I haven’t been complete… I’ve been lacking pieces… Parts of confidence and security I’ve needed… And I’ve still felt so insecure deep down, so incomplete… Thinking, “One day…. One day I’ll have the right skill set”…

But I’m learning quickly, the closer I get to Father God… To His presence… To His love… The closer I get to a place of pure, authentic confidence and security… The kind that is whole and complete and leaves me feeling like I am lacking absolutely nothing at all…

And it’s not found in a church, a pastor, a mentor, my grandmother, or the Bible… That love… Father God… He is found within my day-to-day activities… The time I sit in silence in the mornings…. The moments I have at night when I lay in bed and think… Even in moments when I am casually living life with others… I find aspects of His love… Of the confidence and security found in His love…

And that love… Well it encourages me… It encourages me to keep living, loving and craving more of what God actually wants and needs from me in life… Which, I believe, is to just be… To just be me… To not push the boundaries of who He’s created me to be by trying to be someone else…

I get hung up on that all the time… I try and become someone I’m not… Because I search and look at those around me… “What are they doing? Why are they doing that? Maybe I should be like her?”… But trying to be like what I see in others, well it always leaves me feeling more insecure about who I am… Who God created me to be…

But then, when I simply stick to myself… Well I find myself loving me… Loving the things I am good at… And life is less stressful… Because I am just being me…

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