Life of Wants…

IMG_5122I want… I want… I want…

I live my life by a system of wants…

They surround me each and every day… They fill my conscious and subconscious mind constantly…

I’ve never had a birthday or Christmas where I didn’t receive something that I wanted…

You could easily say my culture has breeded a “need” for want in me…

Ironically, I don’t actually need any of my wants… Because to live we only really need water, food, clothing, shelter and a sense of love from those that surround us…

And so it wasn’t until yesterday… Yesterday in the middle of a movie that it hit me so directly…

I believe, my entire life, God has surrounded me… That His desire to love me has been there… Like I believe it is equally there for every human…

But my entire life I’ve ignored that love… The one thing I’ve personally learned produces security, confidence and identity, I’ve lacked…

And, instead… I’ve bought lie upon lie reminding me that my security, confidence and identity are found in making more money, buying more things, influencing more people and having/doing what’s “better or good”…

Yes, I did grow up in church… In a very spiritual/religious household… Where I was told that confidence, security and identity are found in God through Jesus…

However… No one taught me how to actually find these truths and cultivate a lifestyle of them… I was more so pushed towards reading the Bible and listening to a pastor… Saying I have these things, but not actually possessing them in reality…

And I’m not angry or bitter with anyone or anything… I’m more so realizing that the one thing I’ve needed my entire life is the love of Father God…

Because His love is the one thing I can’t live without… Because, without it, I won’t ever feel truly satisfied, confident and secure… And that my identity is right in the midst of it all…

And I am unsure where all of this is taking me… Where the Holy Spirit is leading me… But I do trust that a lifestyle securely founded on a need truly outweighs a lifestyle securely founded on a want…

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