disappointment · healing · humility · restore

After the Anger… 

What happens when you realize the anger you’re feeling towards God is really just your misinterpretation of Him?..

That’s where I’ve been for 3 days now… 

A place of discovery… A place of humility… A place where being teachable is necessary for moving forward…

Because there’s an area of God’s personality that I thought I knew… I was convinced I understood Him… Because this part of His personality that I know, well I’ve always known… Right?!?!

But now I’m at a place… A place that is showing me I’m wrong… Wrong because this part of God’s personality was taught to me by someone else… It wasn’t given purely through a connection to Him, but through a second hand account…

So now I am left in this middle ground area… A place where I no longer want to assume He heals and performs miracles the way I thought He did… But open to the ideas and reality that there’s so much that I don’t know… So much that He has to teach me…

And becoming teachable hasn’t always been the easiest place for my heart… My heart used to be filled with pride and argonance… Believing so strongly that I had all the answers… But God, Life and good friends have helped my heart become a breeding ground for humilty… 

And so I truly hope, in this moment, that He will guide me past the unknown and into what is true, authentic and real about His miraculous, healing power… 

But until then, I am grateful that I’m no longer angry with God… 

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