Have you ever willingly walked into a season of life before unaware of what’s ahead? Knowing deep in your heart it’s the best thing you can choose to do, but then also hating the fact that you have to set aside your own life?
That’s where my life has been for a year and a half… Completely glued to the reality that my family lost more than we could seemingly navigate through on our own.
And yes, I’ve complained for a good portion of this journey at home in Shreveport. I’ve been angry and frustrated with God. I’ve questioned Him up and down for His plan and way with my life.
You see, for almost 8 months now I feel like I’ve been at war with God. An inward struggle has been taking place inside of me. A real wrestling with the Almighty that’s caused me to hold Him to His words about life, truth, grace, restoration and Jesus.
It’s like He’s been standing in front of me on a training field with a sword, pushing me every way possible to learn how to fight back and defend myself with His truth in my hands.
And I’m not entirely sure what the training ground is preparing me for because I haven’t seen the battlefield He’s taking me to yet. But, I do see that the world is the darkest version of itself it’s ever been. And so I know that a great war is eminently approaching.
So, more than anything, I’m grateful that He’s pushed me past my limits. I’m cheerful for the opposition that’s taken place in my soul. And though He’s never harmed me or taken me into a truthfully harmful place, He has positioned me to become a warrior… A warrior who gracefully, yet powerfully swings a sword of life and truth in the face of fear, darkness, death and destruction.