heart · Spirit · truth

Containment

I’ve tried to write what’s on my heart so many times. I’ve deleted what I’ve said because of the fear of sounding “harsh.” But… You know what? I have to say what’s jumbling around inside.

Do you ever stop and think, “What’s in God’s heart? How does He see our world? What are His solutions? What kind of life-giving, spirit-driven solution can He provide us with in this moment of time?”

If so, do you ever get an answer? If you do get an answer, do you keep following the narrow path of that answer with more questions? And if you’re still on that path of seeking answers with questions, have the answers produced a life-giving harvest around you and those close to you?

You see I’m asking because I’ve made a commitment to seek what’s contained in His heart in all circumstances. And though it’s challenging… And though I do fail a lot… I’ve promised myself I’ll move forward with my spirit, heart and soul fixated on faithfully following through with His desires. Truly living from each unprecedented milestone to the next.

So, you can then maybe understand why my heart feels grieved when I look around and see that my generation and our culture is completely overrun with materialism, self-centeredness and the goal of becoming a mini-god of sorts.

Y’all… We are missing it. A relationship with God isn’t an “add-on” at the end of the menu. He isn’t a side dish that we consume with the rest of our meals. He’s not our meaningful thought to “feel better” for a moment. And He’s most certainly not intended to revolve around our self-centered nature. 

What happened to relationship with Him? Where did the truth that Jesus heals go? Where is our passion for seeking His glory as a solvent in all situations? Where is our devotion for and submission to following Holy Spirit’s lead, no matter how uncertain it seems? Where is our faith for believing Him for the next step no matter the sacrifice? Where is our trust in believing He will provide us with the strength necessary to carry the weight of what He’s asking us to do? 

It is grieving to see a nation filled with problems He can and will solve, if only we will let Him lead and stop intruding our soulish thoughts and emotions into His processes. 

And again, maybe I am harsh in what I’m saying; however, following Him has never been a disappointment. He has always, always provided a way. He has always provided more than enough finances to meet my every need. And He’s always given the next step, chapter and season when He knows it’s time.

And so, I’m writing this to remind you… Lay down the materialism. Let go of the self-centeredness. Give up the idea of becoming a mini-god. It’s not worth it. As enchanting and illusive as it all seems, it’s not of spiritual value. 

What’s of spiritual value can’t be added up in the tangible. It can’t be purchased with views, likes and comments. What’s of spiritual value is an eternal connection contained inside of a very real, very loving, very vulnerable and very humble God. 🌱

keep moving forward · soul · Spirit

Faith for the Mountain

I love this time of the year. God’s supernatural window is open in an extraordinary way as He pulls Himself closer to us. And you know I found myself sitting with Him this morning, discussing a list of projects that lay before me, praying for a number of situations that need to come into divine alignment and also receiving some solid wisdom and gifting for forward movement.

And then… Then He said to me, “I want to give you My mountain of healing. I want to plant it in your heart. It is for you to share with others.” Then I immediately asked, “Is this mountain a seed, or is it like a potted plant, one that’s already semi-nurtured and developed, that needs to be planted on the grounds of my heart?” Then I saw what looked very similar to a tiny replica of Disney’s Magic Kingdom with roots hanging off of it. It was about the size of an engagement ring box. And He said, “It’s a plant. And I am going to plant it inside of you. You will share it with others. I will water it with My glory so it may grow.”

Hmmm… Interesting…

Now, I really don’t have the slightest clue what’s ahead. If I were to guess based on the boundaries of my soulish mind, I would say it will grow and become whatever He intends it to be. But then, I am also very aware that my human spirit’s superconscious mind and Holy Spirit can provide me with more answers than my soul can. 

So, I asked them. And I saw very clearly (but in way more details than I’m allowed to share) that His mountain of healing is going to be a cultivated journey of sorts with many highs and lows. Which does make me feel somewhat prepared, but then also causes me to embrace my reality… Which is that I’m going to have to use faith… Faith that I don’t have in this current moment will be needed to help this mountain grow.

And I believe it’s all together very exciting. It’s exciting to think, “WOW! I will have to step out into uncharted territory to watch this thing develop, mature and grow into what God intends it to be inside of me for others.”

Because what’s the point of believing in God, Jesus and the Kingdom of Heaven if we aren’t pushed to the limits in our relationships with them and the world around us? What’s the point to trusting if we aren’t perpetually thrust into a place of faith for the unseen every single day? What’s the point of saying, “Yes, I’ll submit and follow,” to only turn our attention back to the culture of the ever-evolving, illusive and enchanting “American Dream?” And as much as I enjoy the “ladder of so-called success,” what’s the point of climbing it if His heart, visions, dreams and purposes aren’t sewn into the very foundation of it all with a promise to produce a quality harvest of fruit on the other end? 🌱

authority · dominion · power · Spirit · truth

Get Up!

Saturday, I flew home to NYC as the first outer bands of Hurricane Henri made landfall. About 15 minutes before we landed, my sister leaned over and said, “I think we’re circling the city.” I said, “How do you know?” She said, “See that dark spot? I think that’s NYC. We’ve passed it 3 times now.” No sooner had she said this when the pilot came over the intercom telling us, “Hi folks, we’ve been circling the city. It’s too dangerous to land in the storm. We will continue to circle for 10 more minutes and if we can’t land, we will go to Philadelphia to refuel, and then come back and land.”

So, true to form, I used the next several minutes to minister to the storm, reminding the Stoicheion (the physical elements) that they are created by God, that Jesus is King and that He needs them to fight for His Kingdom. 

Now, what’s interesting about Hurricane Henri is the fact that its name means: ruler of the homeland; power, ruler, powerful. 

Actually, the entire plane ride home I knew this storm was coming with such an impactful meaning. And I heard Holy Spirit repeat over and over to me, “There is a war waging in the second Heaven for your city. You must walk in the full amount of power, authority and dominion I’ve given you to rule and reign over it. You must assert yourselves as rulers of your homeland as you reign.” And so, we did. 

Now, I’m sharing this with you for many reasons. First, this story is like a multitude of other stories I could tell you if we had time to sit and talk for a while. I could explain how, on the regular, I stand before powerful giants in the spirit and watch them bend the knee at my command because I am backed by King Jesus. I could tell you of financial structures that have been dismantled because I had faith and believed what I heard Holy Spirit speak to me and then followed His lead until His job was finished. I could explain to you how I’ve seen signs and wonders of incredible proportion manifest before my eyes with no explanation but, “the goodness of God!!”

But… I think the main thing I want to communicate to you is this….

You’ve been lied to. Actually, we’ve all been lied to. We are more than this materialistic world would like us to believe. The depth of who we are exists in realms, dimensions and timelines we can’t fully perceive with our conscious minds. We are created to vibrate at a higher frequency than the dominating structures and systems of this world would like us to realize.

Which is why it truly requires faith to step out of the comfort zones of this mundane, stagnant, 3-dimensional world to be able to experience the vastness of the quantum realms and realities that surround us. 

And I don’t want to sound insensitive when I say this, but I’ve tried other gods in the past; however, the only one that has ever humbly stepped down into my world and timeline and offered me grace, peace, relationship and more love than I understand is Jesus. He is the only dude that’s been capable of saying, “I see your brokenness. I see your sickness. I see your confusion and anxiety. I see the disease and rot of your spirit, heart, soul and body. And I just want to restore all of it. I actually possess the power to do all of these things… Things you don’t know how to carry. I can carry them for you, when you surrender them to Me. And when you feel alone, My Holy Spirit, He’s always there to surround you, fellowship with you and walk with you through the trails, the hills and the deep, dark valleys of life.”

And you know, the more I’ve leaned into Him and His Kingdom over the past decade of my life, the more life I’ve actually gained. The more I’ve followed His Holy Spirit, the more realms and dimensions have opened up to me. The higher levels of faith I’ve stepped out into, the more power and authority has been entrusted to me. And the more I’ve asked for His confidence, courage and humility to be bottled up and poured out over me, the more assignments He’s given to me to stand before dark, demented and malevolent forces, while gaining so much territory for His Kingdom. 

You see I am sharing this with you because I am completely over the narrative that we don’t have any power over what is happening in our world right now. It is a lie. We do have power when we are in relationship with Christ. We actually have so much power that a hurricane can downgrade to a tropical storm before hitting land, causing way less damage than anticipated. So, if you are reading this and you have a belief system in Jesus Christ, then stop whining. Stop complaining. Stop blaming others. Stop hating others. 

And instead, get up! Get up and start cultivating a deeply rooted relationship with the godhead and your own trans-dimensional human spirit! Get up and see that your human spirit is designed to be seated in the 3rd Heaven with God and Jesus, as it looks down at the chaos below and rules and reigns over it all! Get up and start using the God-given power, dominion and authority we’ve all be entrusted with! Get up and create unity! Get up and fight back! Get up!  🌱

authority · dominion · Spirit

Expansion

Deep beneath the layers of my skin, I feel it… A trans-dimensional maturity and growth occurring. It’s a stretching out… A stretching out and almost bursting forth of my human spirit. You know, it almost feels like my skin is tighter and brighter because I now contain more of my human spirit, Holy Spirit and the weight of the glory of God.

Actually, if you’ve ever smoked weed and been high before then you can kind of understand what this feels like. It’s just so weightless… Almost like you’re floating. Standing taller. Standing firmer. Your soul is submitting to your human spirit, and the merry-go-round you’ve been on has slowed down to a God-inclusive pace. A pace that offers a space for His thoughts and solutions to jump on board. And your mind… Your mind is clear from worry, anxiety and fear. You’re actually able to process the world that’s spinning at a mad, chaotic pace because your level of faith and belief in the Kingdom of God has increased to tremendous heights. 

This… This is expansion. You are called higher. The standard God set within the boundaries of His limitless Kingdom becomes clearer and clearer to your soul’s mind. And the dreams He’s placed inside of your malleable heart become realer, almost tangible to the very essence or your being.

Now, you might be wondering, “Amanda, how often do you feel this?” Honestly, from season to season. You see it takes true willingness, obedience and perseverance to move into higher levels of spiritual maturity and growth. It requires a level of submissive faith that decrees and declares, “I will follow where Holy Spirit is leading me, no matter the challenge, the limbo, the frustration and the internal conflict between spirit and soul. I will follow Him from season to season, seeking each milestone He is pointing me towards.”

But, “Amanda, what’s it all for?” Honestly, I believe spiritual maturity and growth is needed for more things than we can truly fathom; however, in this moment, I believe we need it for the push back. You see we cannot and will not rule and reign over the wickedness and evil of the world without it. We cannot conquer the kingdom of darkness if our human spirits are weak, inactive and immobile. We all need to experience the stretching out and bursting forth. We all need to make room for the glory of God that desires to dwell inside of us. 

And I’m writing this because I hear Holy Spirit incessantly repeating, “It’s time for a giant push back. You are strong enough. You are equipped enough. You have a solid understanding of your God-given authority and dominion. Now, push back!” 

So, I am encouraging you to stretch out so you too can push back. 🌱

keep moving forward · Spirit

Seasonal Milestones

It’s dark, tight and completely isolated, but not in a divisive, evil or wicked way. More so in a deeply concealed and ingeniously crafted manner.

I am confident. I am strong. I firmly believe moving forward with great courage and tremendous hope is the only way now.

And I hear Him saying, “Run with perseverance. Run hard. Do not look to the left or to the right with jealousy, pride and covetous. Do not look behind in grief, disappointment and frustration. Do not look ahead with fear, unbelief and worry. Instead, run with perseverance. It’s going to take everything I’ve deposited in the depths of you to breakthrough into the next season.”

But then I do ponder past seasons… So intricately and carefully designed, they are eternal fuel firing from the depths of my spirit, heart and soul. They are calling me higher and propelling me forward.

Actually, the past seasons of refinement, development, maturity and growth appear to be indispensable and multifaceted gifts… Gifts that have actually morphed into the faith I need to keep picking up the assignment of forward movement. 

And I’m sharing this with you because I understand how challenging it is to hear Holy Spirit’s voice and then blindly follow His very unknown, uncertain and ever-evolving ways for years without breakthrough. I understand how challenging it can feel to wonder, “How much longer until we reach the promises You hold so dear to Your heart God.” But then I am also beginning to embrace that I’ve needed each season He’s led me to and led me through in the past. Because each season, each season is a milestone. Milestones filled with intricate chaos. Milestones dashed with process and progress. Milestones that have cultivated the very faith my spirit, heart and soul need to finish this leg of the race! 🌱 #cultivatelife

keep moving forward · Spirit

Questioning It All

I had a vision yesterday morning. I was in a dark, spacious cave, and I saw a waterfall flowing from a tall mountain-top of black rock. The mouth of the waterfall was wide. As the water fell, it plunged into a pool at the bottom, and then began to rapidly flow into a ravine. The ravine was different from the spacious cave. It was very tube like, tight and cramped. Still dark, but elevating downward. Then, very suddenly, I saw what seemed to be an end to the darkness… A bright light!

After this played out, I heard Holy Spirit. He said, “You are in a very tight, isolated and concealed space right now. So much is happening at once. I know it doesn’t seem like it is, but it is. Trust the flow. Trust what you feel in your human spirit. Trust the direction you’re being led… Even though you don’t understand. Trust Me.”

And then He stopped talking.

Lately, it’s been extremely challenging to keep moving forward. When you walk through many difficult seasons of life, without breaking into what God’s promised, you begin to question everything. And I have been. I am questioning it all. 

You see… It’s just the insight… The ideas… The concepts He’s given me over the years… Well, I’ve held so firm to them. He revealed them to me, planted them in my heart, watered them, nurtured them, watched them develop, mature and grow… And I see the fruit. I see what His ideas, concepts and dreams have produced in my own life and the lives of those that are close to me. But then… Then I ask, “What about the rest? What about the broad scope of all You envisioned and shared with me? And, I know I lack a lot of understanding, but how much longer will You choose to keep Your work concealed? Because I don’t care about fame, fortune, followers or ‘success.’ That doesn’t move me. Honestly, I only, truly care about You. I care that multitudes see how sensational of a feeling it is to be satisfied by only You. I care to share the same measure of love with others that You have shared with me. Everyone has to know! They must know that You aren’t so much ‘cool or hip or relevant.’ Instead, You’re legitimate and virtuous in Your very nature. You’re exactly what each person needs You to be in his/her own life at any given moment because relationship with you is a lifestyle, not a pop culture phenomenon or religion.”

His response? Quiet. Very still. Actually, His stature is so still that it echoes in a very boisterous way. Which then leads me to be still. To calm my soul. To stay present, confident and very focused on exactly where He’s leading. To not be conformed to my lack of understanding, but to just keep moving forward through this very tight, isolated and concealed space in time. 🌱

Spirit · truth

Uncertain Growth

The length of the season I’m in seems shorter than ever now. I do realize my path will eventually change course and evolve into something else. I don’t know when. I don’t know how. But I am certain.

Now, in the midst of the certainty, there is great uncertainty.

You see I am certain of God. I am certain of His character, His love, His fellowship and His grace. I am certain of Jesus and His power that propels us into a greater, fuller, freer, healthier life. And I am most definitely certain of Holy Spirit and His ability to be constantly and consistently present. However, the uncertainty… The uncertainty grows.

Actually, this is uncertain growth. It’s a level of spiritual maturity I wasn’t prepared to encounter and embrace. It’s a paradigm shifting moment where Holy Spirit is saying, “Okay, you’ve followed Me for more than a decade. You’ve followed Me in the midst of your brokenness, insecurities, disappointments, pride and pain. And now, now that you’ve walked through all of that, you are standing in a place of glory. You are standing in a position of holiness that is asking you to leave the past behind and let go of your fear of your future. Follow Me in the fullness of that healing and restoration now.”

And so, you see I can’t consider past pain or future failures anymore. This season of stillness has brought me into a place of inner stillness that promises I will move forward, but my soul will stay still. It will not dig up the past in an attempt to interrogate it on end, and it will not leap forward into a hypothetical future. Instead, I will remain still, steadfast, moving ever so forward.

And I believe there is so much to be gained when we view Holy Spirit through this lens. Because, honestly, He cannot be fully understood or quantified. His integrative power is too focused on moving forward with the Father’s plan to restore and fulfill. 

And I guess what I am trying to say is this… Cultivating a deep-rooted relationship with Holy Spirit takes time. It takes time for us to learn how to trust Him. It takes time for Him to know that He can trust us. And it takes time for His intricate process of restoration and redemption to be worked out inside of us. However, after many seasons of following His process of refinement, we will find ourselves in a place of maturity where He says, “Okay, now follow the uncertain, unexplainable, significant nature of My presence, My glory and My heart. Follow it. Trust it. And know, that no matter how fast or slow it might be moving, it is spectacular and full of life!” 🌱

Spirit · truth

Three Years Later

On Tuesday my sister and I marked 3 years in NYC. If you know me or have followed my writings for a while then you know getting to this chapter of life was a journey for us. We’ve faced more life trials and obstacles than I’d wish on anyone; however, over the past three years, living in NYC has been a different kind of journey.

You see we don’t follow the flow of the cultural norm. We were raised in a household that taught us how to cultivate a relationship with the Holy Spirit and follow His lead over everything else. So, in life and in business, we make decisions based around what He says is best because that is faith… Fully following where He’s leading without fear, doubt, hesitation or selfishness. 

And it’s been challenging. It is challenging. We both have things we want in life; however, we’re both completely set on following the ideas, concepts, dreams and realities He’s shared with us over everything else.

A year ago, I shared about a mountain He’s asked us to climb. I said, “My sister and I have climbed lots of mountains before… Separately and together. But… THIS… THIS mountain is unique because we must take all that He has deposited inside of us (separately and together), multiply it with a new deposit of His gifts and then produce a finished product. Funny thing… Neither of us have a clue what the finished product will look like! Oh sure… We kind of know what it might feel like. And we definitely know what ideas need to be incorporated into the whole. However… the final outcome is a mystery.”

Since writing that, the mystery has unraveled itself in such a powerful and unexpected way. I am honestly blown away with the insight, revelation, wisdom, understanding, provision and connection He’s provided us with. I am blown away with His goodness to keep this ship fully sailing. I am blown away with who He is and how amazing it’s been to lean on Him in the midst of the extreme isolation that is our reality.

And I’m sharing this with you because I want to encourage you to keep moving forward with Him wherever He is leading. Because when we do… When we fully surrender to the world He sees… Well, then we can reconstruct. We can build. We can unite. We can create. We can help pull His trans-dimensional Kingdom down into this Earth. 🌱⚔️

power · Spirit · truth

Stay in the Victory

If you’ve been following my writings for the past few months then you know I’ve been in a season where I am intently focused on the manifested glory of God… Specifically the manifestation of signs, wonders and miracles. Now honestly, it hasn’t been the easiest season to walk through because Holy Spirit keeps asking me to whole-heartily remain in the stillness without looking to the past or the future. 

A few days ago, while I was just sitting still, I saw a huge gaping, bloody wound in the left leg of my spirit. The wound had black veins streaming from it like spider webs. They coursed through my entire being. I asked Holy Spirit, “What is that?” He said, “The wound is from past disappointments that cut deep. And, I have healed you: spirit, heart, soul and body; however, you keep turning yourself back to the disappointment, rather than the victory. You keep focusing on the pain and the frustration, rather than the way I stepped in and covered you. So, that open wound, it’s streaming through your entire being, defining you and leaving an impact on everything you do, say and think. And now… Now you must go through the cultivated process of staying in the victory.”

The victory… Ahhh, I am learning so much about focusing on the victory. I am learning that there is a legitimate supernatural substance of power we can pull from when we remind ourselves of all of the times God has intervened.

You see pulling from past disappointments doesn’t lead to the manifested glory of God. What leads to His manifested glory is our ability to see past our emotion… To fight through it and choose to praise Him in all things… To choose to see Him as good in all things, even when life feels lifeless, confusing, overbearing and challenging. Because, when we mediate on His redemptive/restorative ways working in our lives, well then… Then we can see where His glory has been prevalent. And then we can also embrace the truth that, God’s glory doesn’t manifest on pain and defeat. Instead, He needs us to surrender and say, “I see it! I see where You stepped into my past and set me free! I see where You healed my physical body and my broken spirit, heart and soul! I see where you covered me, protected me and rescued me from people, places and things that were harming me! I see where I choose to lean on You for strength, encouragement and relationship in moments where I realized how alone I actually am!”

And do you know… Since I’ve chosen to stay in the stillness, mediating on and pulling from the victories… I have actually witnessed the manifested glory of God in many different forms and fashions! (Maybe I’ll share soon!) So much so that they’ve left me somewhat speechless, thanking God for His goodness and also questioning, “Now do we get a steady stream going?” 🌱

heart · soul · Spirit

Right Where I’m Supposed to Be

Over the past week or so my soul has been pushing me to cave and capitulate. I hear my thoughts. I feel my emotions. And they… They have decided that this jagged, uncomfortable path of stillness leading to God’s glory is just too much for them.

Now, I truly do not want to get off of the path. My spirit and my heart are truly dead set on the direction I’m being led; however, my soul… My soul gets really distracted sometimes. Actually, if I’m not conscious of and self-disciplined about what I’m feeding my soul, then it begins to get annoyed. It begins to lose sight of the goodness of God and the place of power, dominion and authority Holy Spirit has seated me in. 

And the annoyance… Well, it opens up an unwanted avenue of doubt inside of me. And then the doubt begins to conduct its full-fledged plan to captivate my heart. Actually, the doubt is so wise that it starts speaking to me about the past. It tries to remind me why I should choose to fear disappointment… “You’ve been so disappointed before. You stuck to the path, and people that you trusted very deeply and intimately with the things of God let you down. So, how do you know you won’t get disappointed again? Why would you keep trusting this path, Amanda? Why would you keep relying on the goodness of God and all of His promises and provision when you’ve been so deeply wounded before?”

But then… Then I hear Holy Spirit say, “Amanda, I am not human. I am God. I have never left you. Even in the depth of your brokenness, loss and deep insecurities, I was there offering up a strong pillar of hope and love to lean on. And, I will never leave you or disappoint your heart. So, keep putting your faith in Me. Keep your identity in the truth that you live from a place of right standing through Christ. Keep your eyes focused on the spirit realm. Keep your expectations on Me and on things flowing from above. I am always working. Even when you are completely still, I am working. Do not forget about My glory. This is the last and final stretch of this season. Bring it home! Do it well! Finish it completely with honor, dignity and respect. Do it from a place of incessant faith and trust in Me. Do not fear. Do not doubt. Do not live from a place of lack: spirit, soul, heart and body. Instead, live in the fullness of Me.”

And you know, when I hear Holy Spirit speak, well His confidence and assurance in Himself and in me, it really motivates and strengths me. It truly gives me the courage to silence my soul and focus my attention on where He’s leading me. Rather than on where distraction leads me. 

And I don’t know if you ever go through this. I don’t know if you can sort through yourself from the inside out and differentiate between the voice of your spirit, soul, heart and God’s. I don’t know if you can recognize when fear and doubt try their best to take advantage of your weaknesses while interloping themselves into the mix of voices within you. However, I hope you are willing to let Holy Spirit lead you into this place of maturity. I hope that when you feel overwhelmed with doubt and fear you can stop yourself and say, “My foundation is rooted in what flows from above. So, I am choosing to press past all of the noise and keep moving forward with where I am being led. I will reach the end of this challenging season with grace, confidence and complete assurance that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.” 🌱