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Year Four
From the window of mom’s new house I sit in my bed and watch the river flow as the sun rises every morning. Some days it flows left....
Amanda Winder
Jun 2, 20182 min read
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When the Darkness Ends
Four years have passed. Four years have passed and the view of my life has drastically changed. I’ve drastically changed. To say I’m the...
Amanda Winder
Apr 21, 20182 min read
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Death Halts Life....
Have you ever walked into a situation completely blind?… Believing in your mind you know the solution will be quick and simple, but then...
Amanda Winder
Dec 28, 20174 min read
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Life on the Line...
I found myself sitting at the cemetery today… Why?… I went with mom to pick up the deeds for dad’s plot and the plot she’ll eventually be...
Amanda Winder
Nov 13, 20172 min read
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Bye Religion...
If you know anything about me at all, then you know how I feel about religion… I hate it… It’s everything I hope to not reflect… It’s...
Amanda Winder
Sep 14, 20173 min read
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Year Three...
This time of year will come and go every year… For the rest of my life… And honestly, well it has gotten easier… But I wanted to share...
Amanda Winder
May 28, 20174 min read
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Time... A Healer?
I’ve heard it said at least a thousand times now, “Time… Time will help you heal from the death and great absence of your father.. Time...
Amanda Winder
Feb 27, 20172 min read
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Closure...
Why is it so hard to walk away from something we love so much?.. Why did God place a heart inside of us that can so easily find the good...
Amanda Winder
Feb 18, 20172 min read
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Maintaining Life, with the Lows...
What happens when you continue to feel your world, life as you once knew it, shaken?… Shaking… Because that’s exactly what mine continues...
Amanda Winder
Nov 22, 20162 min read
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Valley of Life...
What happens when you find someone in a valley of life?… And not only are they in a valley, they’ve decided to sit down and stay awhile...
Amanda Winder
Nov 17, 20162 min read
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Mom-Mom...
Not knowing yesterday morning what was in store, I ended my journal entry with the statement that He is “always good”… Fitting for...
Amanda Winder
Oct 19, 20163 min read
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When Do I Get My Mom Back?...
Can I ask a really real question for a moment?… Life… Can you pause yourself for a moment and answer a question for me?… When does my...
Amanda Winder
Sep 14, 20161 min read
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Story and Identity...
Recently I sat asking myself questions about me… In the midst, there was a statement asking for a description of a life experience I’ve...
Amanda Winder
Aug 23, 20162 min read
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But It's Not Dead...
I am a firm believer that constant growth is simply part of life… That in order to move forward, even when we don’t feel motivated, we...
Amanda Winder
Jul 17, 20162 min read
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Life Lessons... With Death...
Life’s strange… So many moments don’t make sense until we look back and connect the dots… Death has definitely become something I’ve...
Amanda Winder
Jun 9, 20162 min read
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Year Two...
June 2nd can be a bad day… It can be a day filled with regret, loss, tears, sadness, a “poor me it’s not fair… I want my dad back”...
Amanda Winder
Jun 2, 20162 min read
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He's Become a Memory...
I’m learning that one of the strangest… Yet saddest things about death is the fact… Well the fact that my dad has become a memory… He’s...
Amanda Winder
Apr 9, 20162 min read
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Seasonal Grief...
I’m in a place right now… A place that is full of grief… Yet full of excitement… Looking back, I’m grateful for the death of my dad and...
Amanda Winder
Jan 29, 20162 min read
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The Valuable Lost...
Last week I lost five things… On four separate occasions… And I don’t ever loose things… Especially what’s of value to me… So I decided...
Amanda Winder
Jan 11, 20162 min read
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An Open Letter to My Father...
I feel like there’s so much to say… But at the same time I feel like there’s nothing to say… Because death still sucks… A lot… But then I...
Amanda Winder
Dec 18, 20152 min read
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