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The Blog
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Respecting Moments
How do I feel right now? I feel rested, but I’m still searching….. searching for so much and completely curious and intrigued by this...
Amanda Winder
Aug 10, 20143 min read
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Smelling the Roses
I feel jumbled on the inside. Frustrated every time I’m driving to work early in the morning and I want to call dad…. And I can’t. I just...
Amanda Winder
Aug 9, 20143 min read
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Stewardship of a Child
Since dad’s been gone I’ve wanted to tell him so many things… share my little, yet expanding L.A. world with him like I always did…. but...
Amanda Winder
Aug 7, 20143 min read
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What If We're An Illusion?
For the past few days I’ve been having these thoughts….. and at first I thought “Amanda you’re in shock. You’re not handling this death...
Amanda Winder
Aug 5, 20143 min read
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Missing the Moment
I had a solid moment of regret yesterday….. regret followed by pain and tears. I regretted not telling dad goodbye when he was alert and...
Amanda Winder
Aug 4, 20143 min read
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Passing of Pain
This pain never really goes away. The loss of a father is deep. So deep that I don’t even think I’ve tapped into it’s depths yet. Because...
Amanda Winder
Aug 2, 20143 min read
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Dig Deep
So many emotions are swirling inside of me this morning. I know deep down that I have so much to prove in order to advance to the next...
Amanda Winder
Aug 1, 20142 min read
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It's Just Heaven..... Right?
I had a dream last night and dad was in it… I had a dream last night and he was talking about Heaven. When I woke up it made me think...
Amanda Winder
Jul 31, 20143 min read
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Staying Focused
I don’t know what I’ve been feeling for the past few days. I feel like I’m feeling so much, but I’m kind of ignoring it all…. trying to...
Amanda Winder
Jul 29, 20142 min read
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It's Just a Body
Why is it that we care so much about the physical….. our bodies and what we can see and touch? I’ve asked myself this question before…....
Amanda Winder
Jul 26, 20144 min read
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Lacking Fullness
Since dad’s death, Bridge has mentioned that her life has always been pretty perfect…. pretty perfect until now…. and after hearing her...
Amanda Winder
Jul 24, 20143 min read
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Overriding Grief
I’m back…. back in the City of Angels…. and for some reason I’m not extremely happy to be here. I feel sad and a little angry. As...
Amanda Winder
Jul 23, 20143 min read
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Life's a Blessing
5 am… 5 am came this morning and I just laid in my bed. I laid in my bed halfway dreading the fact that I was going to have to tell my...
Amanda Winder
Jul 22, 20143 min read
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Fitting in With Self
Life’s situations have a funny way of leading us to what we love…. of course that’s only if we’re open enough to let them. In the midst...
Amanda Winder
Jul 20, 20143 min read
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Breakdown v Breakthrough
I went into dad’s closet this morning to get a sweatshirt (apparently Shreveport’s decided to be in the 70s in July)…. and after I got...
Amanda Winder
Jul 19, 20143 min read
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Selfishness
Wow…. I really miss my dad today. Like bad. I woke up and thought “I really miss dad.” But I couldn’t give myself a reason. Nothing...
Amanda Winder
Jul 17, 20144 min read
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Distracted?
I’ve been told that with time it gets easier… And I’m starting to believe that’s true. I feel like the freshness of dad’s death is...
Amanda Winder
Jul 16, 20143 min read
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Universal
Since dad’s death I’ve been learning that our struggles, our heartbreaks and heartaches…. well, they connect us. I’ve known for a while...
Amanda Winder
Jul 15, 20143 min read
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Smile for Me Baby
Since I’ve been missing dad so much, we finally decided to set up an old TV/VCR and watch home videos. Three hours later, I was grateful....
Amanda Winder
Jul 14, 20143 min read
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Love
The absence of my father hits me in the strangest ways. Like yesterday when LeBron decided to return to Cleveland. I was in the gym when...
Amanda Winder
Jul 12, 20142 min read
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