top of page
The Blog
Enjoy what you read? Would you like to read more, receive bi-monthly writings and gain unlimited access to the blog? Subscribe for $8 a month today!
New Fears
I cried myself to sleep last night. I know everything is going to be ok… but I’m starting to worry a little. Actually a lot. I know...
Amanda Winder
Jul 10, 20142 min read
0 comments
Birthdays
Dad, I wish you were here today. When I told you I would be home in July for your birthday, you discouraged it. You wanted me to travel...
Amanda Winder
Jul 9, 20142 min read
0 comments
Questions
Today’s dad’s birthday… He was almost 53. 53 and young… but now he’s 52 and frozen in time. Last night I logged onto Facebook and clicked...
Amanda Winder
Jul 9, 20143 min read
0 comments
Stuff...
It fascinates me how much we care about the physical… how much we care about the way we look, our clothes, cars, jobs and houses. It’s...
Amanda Winder
Jul 7, 20143 min read
0 comments
Confidence
Sometimes I feel like death is teaching me more than I wanted to learn. Like when I lay in bed at night and miss my dad. I just want him...
Amanda Winder
Jul 6, 20143 min read
0 comments
Judgement
Last night was the first outing we went on as a family without dad…. and it kind of sucked. It was great to celebrate the engagement of a...
Amanda Winder
Jul 5, 20143 min read
0 comments
Life
For the last few days I’ve been thinking about how wonderful life is… how good it is to live and be alive. Honestly, death sucks… but...
Amanda Winder
Jul 4, 20143 min read
0 comments
Disappointment
Not gonna lie… I’m being a little selfish this morning. Sometimes being an adult sucks because you have to make decisions, decisions that...
Amanda Winder
Jul 2, 20143 min read
0 comments
Feelings
How do I feel right now? I don’t know. I don’t know how I feel, but I’ve been trying to answer this question for myself all morning. I...
Amanda Winder
Jul 1, 20143 min read
0 comments
Humility
Over the last four weeks one word that continues to resinate with me is humility. I am learning how humble my father was at work and...
Amanda Winder
Jun 30, 20144 min read
0 comments
Death
It’s been 4 weeks since I flew home to see dad… It’s been 4 weeks since I flew home to see dad recover and get stronger or be healed....
Amanda Winder
Jun 29, 20144 min read
0 comments
Just Live
Yesterday… yesterday I felt like the most boring version of myself possible. Seriously. After working on paperwork and thank you letters...
Amanda Winder
Jun 28, 20144 min read
0 comments
Protection
When we were kids, a friend down the street had a bunch of invisible lizards. They were contaminated from some sort of chemical and the...
Amanda Winder
Jun 27, 20144 min read
0 comments
Gifting?
Decisions. Decisions aren’t that difficult to make, but they are when you have no idea what you’re doing. I’d honestly love to believe I...
Amanda Winder
Jun 27, 20143 min read
0 comments
Good v Evil
Cancer… it feels like it’s everywhere right now. People with it, people getting checked for it, the fear of it.. The fear of sickness and...
Amanda Winder
Jun 26, 20145 min read
0 comments
Steel Magnolias
Dad, I wish you could see mom right now… Or maybe you can, but if you can’t I wish you could because she is handling herself with such...
Amanda Winder
Jun 26, 20142 min read
0 comments
Realness
Life is starting to adjust without dad being here. It feels weird too. It feels weird to see Bridge pack dad’s small suitcase to take...
Amanda Winder
Jun 25, 20144 min read
0 comments
Unconditional Love
Today we had to change insurance policies because dad’s name has to be taken off of them. And this mission… the mission of taking dad’s...
Amanda Winder
Jun 25, 20143 min read
0 comments
Mom
I had a dream last night and dad was in it… or at least he was communicating with me through text messages. It felt so real, and it had...
Amanda Winder
Jun 24, 20143 min read
0 comments
Football
I miss my dad. I want to be in L.A. where my life was moving forward and I was in love with the simplicity of life. I want life to return...
Amanda Winder
Jun 24, 20143 min read
0 comments
bottom of page