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Goodbye to the Pain I Didn't Want Uprooted
Have you ever followed Holy Spirit into an innocent, not so challenging opportunity but then found yourself faced with more challenges...
Amanda Winder
Oct 24, 20224 min read
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Year Five
Five years ago today I watched my dad take his last breath. All in one moment the reality of death made his appearance in my life. You...
Amanda Winder
Jun 2, 20192 min read
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End the Anger
Anger has been coursing through my veins lately… And while I do realize that the anger is only really harming me, I don’t want to make...
Amanda Winder
Dec 27, 20181 min read
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I Cry
I laid in bed the night before last and wanted to cry because I felt so weak… So emotional… So caught in the chaos and frustration of...
Amanda Winder
Dec 22, 20181 min read
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Thanks Death
I’m not one to wallow and get down about life and what I’ve lost, but lately I’ve found myself missing my dad more than I can explain....
Amanda Winder
Nov 16, 20182 min read
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Year Three...
This time of year will come and go every year… For the rest of my life… And honestly, well it has gotten easier… But I wanted to share...
Amanda Winder
May 28, 20174 min read
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Time... A Healer?
I’ve heard it said at least a thousand times now, “Time… Time will help you heal from the death and great absence of your father.. Time...
Amanda Winder
Feb 27, 20172 min read
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Mom-Mom...
Not knowing yesterday morning what was in store, I ended my journal entry with the statement that He is “always good”… Fitting for...
Amanda Winder
Oct 19, 20163 min read
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Story and Identity...
Recently I sat asking myself questions about me… In the midst, there was a statement asking for a description of a life experience I’ve...
Amanda Winder
Aug 23, 20162 min read
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Year Two...
June 2nd can be a bad day… It can be a day filled with regret, loss, tears, sadness, a “poor me it’s not fair… I want my dad back”...
Amanda Winder
Jun 2, 20162 min read
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He's Become a Memory...
I’m learning that one of the strangest… Yet saddest things about death is the fact… Well the fact that my dad has become a memory… He’s...
Amanda Winder
Apr 9, 20162 min read
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Seasonal Grief...
I’m in a place right now… A place that is full of grief… Yet full of excitement… Looking back, I’m grateful for the death of my dad and...
Amanda Winder
Jan 29, 20162 min read
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An Open Letter to My Father...
I feel like there’s so much to say… But at the same time I feel like there’s nothing to say… Because death still sucks… A lot… But then I...
Amanda Winder
Dec 18, 20152 min read
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Grief = Gladness...
The loss of someone is hard… It’s never easy to look around and realize my dad’s presence is missing from family holidays and traditions…...
Amanda Winder
Nov 27, 20152 min read
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Break Up...
There’s a place in my heart that still feels pain… Most of the time the pain is faint… I can barely feel it because of the abundance of...
Amanda Winder
Oct 5, 20151 min read
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Ring Regretfulness...
Being home means I am faced with reality… Meaning… I can’t ignore the fact that my dad is dead and my mom has been left with everything…...
Amanda Winder
Jul 11, 20154 min read
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Reality Sucks...
Why does life have to remind you it’s real?…. I know that sounds stupid… But that’s how I feel right now… Life is reminding me how real...
Amanda Winder
Jul 6, 20152 min read
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Year One...
It’s been a year since I lost my incredibly antagonizing and loving father… It’s been a year since I’ve had to question so much about...
Amanda Winder
Jun 2, 20153 min read
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Finding Forgiveness...
The memory that continues to flood my mind this morning is one that involved hope… Leaving dad in the hospital… After spending the entire...
Amanda Winder
May 18, 20153 min read
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Depressed In This Moment...
Apparently I haven’t completely grieved… This pain that follows death is still so real and so alive… It hasn’t let yet… And I don’t know...
Amanda Winder
May 11, 20152 min read
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