Oh boy... I hear it again, "What's in your heart Amanda? I'm searching your innermost parts to see what's planted there and what kind of ground it's growing on. Are you going to let me have the things that are languishing? Are you going to surrender the fear that's keeping you from moving forward? And… Continue reading “Bettering” My Heart
Category: capacity
The Isolated Life
Isolation. Oh gosh, I hate isolation. Actually, I hate the initial feeling of isolation. Have you ever felt it before? It’s this blatant reality that no one completely gets you, who you are or what you’re going through. And it’s deeper than feeling alone because when we’re isolated we aren’t actually “alone”. You see... When… Continue reading The Isolated Life
Wait-y
Patience... Patience is really, really, really challenging for me. You see I’ve learned how to be patient with people and situations that are out of my control... But patience with God, myself and my own life.... Well that’s a completely different story. You see I just don’t like to wait. Waiting... Well waiting seems SO… Continue reading Wait-y
I Cried
I cried on the train this morning. I cried on the train this morning because it’s time to take another risk... Another gamble... Another giant leap of faith forward with God. And you know what? That’s still challenging for me. It’s still challenging to go, “You want me to do what next?! I’m tired of… Continue reading I Cried
New Assignment
For about a year now it seems as though God’s been emptying me of more... More fear. More idolatry. More selfishness. More hurt and pain. More of me. And to be completely honest with you, it’s been a challenge for me to let go of more without an understanding of “why?” I just keep questioning… Continue reading New Assignment
Expansion
I told my mom what God told me about blooming. She, who is always wiser than me, said, "Amanda, I know you're excited, but remember this is going to be a PROCESS. Just like all of the growth you've experienced, blooming will take time. A bud doesn't open overnight. It takes time to expand as… Continue reading Expansion
The Color Process
Pain is temporary if we’re open to healing. Pressure is good if we allow it to shape us in a life-giving way. Growth.... Growth is challenging. And a lifestyle of all three seems to be the challenge of all challenges. I told you God told me that all of my refinement, development, maturity and growth… Continue reading The Color Process
Selfless Madness
I'm convinced the most challenging part of being selfless is the reality that you gain virtually nothing from it. Sure there's some type of intangible lesson learned... But as far as tangible gain, it's not there. And that's where I am right now... Wrestling with God over this idea... Over this lifestyle of being selfless.… Continue reading Selfless Madness
Prep Mode
What happens when stepping out with God doesn’t feel like it’s enough? How do you manage the reality of, “Well I’m doing everything He said to do. What else is there? Shouldn’t I feel whole and complete and ready?!?!” Because I feel like I’m always in prep mode. Like I’m always aiming to prepare for… Continue reading Prep Mode
Upside Down Kingdom
What happens when you realize you're wrong? How do you move forward when you see that the picture... The truth... The reality was upside down from what you imagined it to be? That's where I stand... Again realizing that my ideals and opinions have been upside down in so many ways... You see for close… Continue reading Upside Down Kingdom