authority & dominion · darkness · death · demonic · iniquity · power

The Languishing Leviathan

It’s been a full decade since I was awakened to real, true evil and darkness…

As I leaned over the hospital bed to pray for my frail grandmother a thick, firm voice snapped back at me, “I raised you!” All in one moment it hit me, the voice coming from the bed wasn’t my grandmother’s. I could just tell by the strong and distinctly strange inflection in her tone and the dark, spine-chilling look in her typically piercing, crystal-blue eyes. Very quickly I responded, “You’re right. My grandmother raised me and YOU raised me too.” Then from the bed came a wicked laughter I’d never heard before and a very prideful response, “You’re right Amanda. I DID RAISE YOU.” I couldn’t believe my ears in that moment. For the first time in my life, I was awakened to the truth that I was spiritually staring back at some type of dark, demented and deeply twisted Leviathan who was bent on suppressing my life, my relationship with God and my purpose.

And, then to realize someone I idolized was entangled with something so dark and twisted. Gosh, it made my head spin and my heart hurt. And then to consider that “it” helped raise me… All I could do in that moment was begin to desperately cry from the depth of my spirit in hopes that my grandmother would be awakened to the truth too.

So, I left the hospital that day filled with a great deal of grief and confusion, yet I was clearly awakened to the reality that there was more going on in the supernatural realms of life. And, for the first time, I had personally experienced it. No one was sharing their experiences. The truth was right in front of me.

You see this specific experience began a long and some-what challenging journey I didn’t feel I was prepared to go on. Let’s just say I wanted to pretend that my family and I were completely free of the demonic because we believed in Christ, operated in authority and knew so much about the spirit realm; however, that was a terrible lie from the languishing Leviathan who helped secretly raise me.

Now, over time I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter how close we believe we are to God and His Kingdom or how much we think we know about Him because demonic influence can be present and fully operating in our lives. And, 100% of the time, the demonic is there without us even realizing it because generational iniquity is passed down in the supernatural and then given access to our lives.

So, what are we supposed to do? Well, if it weren’t for my expressed belief in Jesus, Leviathan would have continued to suppress my spiritual gifts and prevented me from flourishing and thriving on a spiritual plane of life. I mean he was definitely trying to. However, his opportunity was squashed the moment I realized I needed to fully exercise my authority purchased through Jesus. So, through a Holy Spirit led process I began to work with the Godhead to gain freedom and take back all that the demonic had stolen.

So now some of you might be thinking, “Does this mean someone that has a relationship with Jesus can also be suppressed and oppressed by the demonic? How is that possible when He’s around? Amanda, there’s no way. You’ve got to be kidding me!” And I’m here to tell you, with all that I have learned and experienced over the past decade, someone that has a relationship with Jesus can definitely have several relationships with demonic entities and not even realize it.

You see, if we aren’t accessing the fullness of Jesus and His power properly, then yes… Yes, we WILL walk under the influence of darkness, death and decay from the inside out because we are made: spirit, soul, heart and body. And, if we do not take responsibility of our spiritual lives by fully leaning into them and then allowing Jesus to free us from all of our spiritual entanglements (yes, even the generational ones), then yes, we will absolutely be entangled with the demonic.

And I’m not sharing this to stir anyone up or cause grief. I’m sharing this because I have spent an entire decade walking in more freedom, joy, love and life than I ever imagined was possible. Plus, my relationship with the Godhead and my connection to the supernatural is so much more powerful and stronger since I dropped my pride and fear and just allowed Holy Spirit to lead me into the fullness of the finished work of Jesus. 🌱 #cultivatelife

darkness · death · demonic · freedom · Fullness of Jesus · healing

Demonic Occupancy

Remember the anger and disappointment I told you about in my last writing? Oh you know… The anger and disappointment that were consuming 10% of my heart? Well… Once I fully acknowledged them and began to pursue more of God’s love, my heart began to hurt…. Like PHYSICALLY hurt.

Now, obviously when pain strikes my heart I immediately think, “heartburn.” But then when it persisted at random moments for days on end, I began to think, “MY GOD… AM I OKAY?!?”

Fortunately, I heard God’s voice on every painful occasion say, “You are fine Amanda. This is a spiritual matter. There is a demonic entity tied to your soul. It’s has been given claim and territory over your heart. And… Until you relinquish your hold and fully give it to Me, you will feel this pain.”

“Wow… Okay… Great God.” Is what I immediately/sarcastically/gratefully thought… Then I proceeded to ask Him how we would work together with Jesus to rid my soul of the entity.

And so the process of freedom and refinement began.

You see in the past I haven’t wanted to give Him the soul tie. (For those who don’t know, a soul tie happens when you take on someone else’s entities: demons, spirits, etc. Basically, I was deeply wounded by someone else’s demons, but then I also formed a relationship with those demons because I was really close to this person.) And, because I didn’t want to relinquish the soul tie to Jesus, the demon has had territory over my heart. Territory that should belong to God and God alone!

You see I have consistently allowed Holy Spirit to lead me to a place of forgiveness and grace over the years in this area; however, the last piece of my freedom came down to me truly embracing the fact that I had a demon occupying space within, and it had to go.

And… Now that it’s gone, well… I can freely move forward. My heart can actually be whole and express what it means to have Holy Spirit taking up more occupancy than He’s ever had before! 🌱 #cultivatelife

darkness · demonic · faith · fear · heart · pain · relationship

Sharp Objects

I had a dream about a month ago… I was standing in my living room and from the kitchen a dark figure was standing at my counter throwing knives, swords and other sharp objects at me. In the moment I didn’t know what to do…. So I reached my hand out and surprising caught each one of them by the handle on the other end.

I had a vision this morning… I saw glass and shards of metal coming at my heart… Trying to really penetrate and tear apart this whole and complete substance God’s placed inside of me.

When the vision began, I immediately thought of the dream… So I asked Holy Spirit about both of them. He said, “Amanda, the dream was a foretelling of you handling the shards and metal in the vision. For too many years you’ve allowed manipulation, deception, fear, lies and toxic behavior to tear you down and penetrate your heart. But that’s over now. Now it’s time to stand firm and confidently and courageously catch every sharp tool darkness throws your way. It’s time to be the fortress, in this area of your life, I’ve created you to be.”

And with that… Well I just felt peace. Peace that showed me this chapter is coming to an end because I will no longer be stunned with pain, rejection, fear and confusion of the past.

And I don’t know why I’m sharing this… This is kind of deep and very personal to me on several levels of life. However, I do want you to know, we weren’t created to live in darkness, pain, fear and rejection. Yeah…. Sure we can become so familiar with the darkness that it seems like we should lie down and embrace it as home. But I believe what’s stronger than the darkness that incases us is the light that comes out of us when Jesus truly steps into our story, heals our pain and restores us to full capacity.

And I don’t know about you…. But who wouldn’t want that? 🌱 #cultivatelife

demonic · develop · freedom · healing · lies, deception & manipulation · Mind · refine · warfare

Dethronement

I see a throne… It’s high and mighty… But I’m struggling with it’s dethronement. Why? Well because I like the kingdom of lies my imagination has cultivated inside of my head.

Actually, I’ve become so good at creating and buying false images that I sometimes get confused over what’s real and what’s false.

You see when I begin to feel really insecure, afraid or alone, I find myself desperately wanting to block those feelings. So, I use my imagination as a tool to place myself somewhere that makes me feel more comfortable than the present moment does. It’s like a place of refuge and security for me when life seems insecure and unknown. I find it comforting to create an untrue scenario that settles any shame, pain, fear or anxiety I feel. I create, and my reality seems to fade a way for a moment.

There’s a huge let down to telling myself lies though… Nothing I’ve told myself is real, but then I’ve created the story so many times that I begin to believe it’s real. And so my soul is trapped in a web of deception and manipulation.

So how do I get out? How do I become free from the mess I’ve created? Well, its taken time, but the Holy Spirit has revealed so much truth to me. He’s shown me that it’s really unhealthy to use our imaginations to create false worlds. He’s also shown me that I exalt my imagination higher than anything else in my life. But, I don’t see how much I worship and praise my imagination because I don’t see it’s true harm. My lies have blocked me from the truth.

However, the amount of disappointment I keep encountering in my life has kind of become a sign that’s helped me look deeper. It’s kind of caused me to start questioning God about a lot of things that I think and believe. I almost feel like I’m standing in front of a brick wall, but I can’t see the wall because I’ve painted a picture on top of it instead. And the picture is just too beautiful to be false. But then when I try to enter the image, I keep running into a wall of disappointment. I keep feeling hurt, let down and deceived. And so I now know that the wall cannot fall until I admit it’s a wall, not a fanatical image.

But, I do believe, on the other side of this wall is a path that will continue to lead me into the purposes and promises God’s intended for my life. And so, I’ve asked Holy Spirit to continue to help me remove the false images and the wall, one lie at a time. 🌱 #cultivatelife #justlive

darkness · demonic · Fullness of Jesus · soul · warfare

When the War Wages

Do you ever feel like your mind… that your soul is being completely assaulted?

Yeah… That’s where I’ve been for at least three weeks now. In this on and off war, and what (at times) feels like a complete assassination of my being.

It’s not fun. It’s ugly. It’s torturous at times. But mostly, it’s spiritual warfare.

I keep fighting back with truth…. The truth of Christ, but the war still manages to wage on.

And my enemy… You know the one of my soul, he continues to attack three particular areas.

First and foremost, he always goes for my body image…. Or the way I physically view myself. I think he knows attempting to destroy me in this area will ultimately destroy me in the other areas because I’ve build up so much false security here in the past.

However, if he can’t get me here… Well then he reminds me that I don’t operate off of the world’s system for attaining provision, wealth and financial security. He shows me that I could have more if I would simply hustle my way to the top of his kingdom.

And if he still cannot get me to crack… Well then he probes at my identity, Cultivate Life and all that God has promised for it. And then he proceeds to remind me how much of a failure he believes I am for trusting in God and His plans, rather than following the world and it’s schemes for getting ahead.

This is always a deep blow.

And… so I am usually left in a puddle on the floor. A complete puddle of frustration and tears. You see I can usually handle him in one or two areas, but when he comes after all three I seem to crack.

I don’t like it at all. It’s cruel and unjust to who I am at my core as a child of God.

So… How do I overcome it? Well, though I’m not the best… I simply remind the enemy of my soul of truth. If he comes after my body image, I remind him that I don’t place value in my body, but in God and His undying love and acceptance of me. If he attempts to remind me that I can make more money and attain more through his system, then I remind him that God has always done far better… And that I need more than what money can provide. I need faith, peace, love and joy. And then… if he tries to assassinate my identity and Cultivate Life, well by that point I’m so tired, frustrated and done with him that I usually demand and command that he leaves in Jesus name.

And then he leaves… And I’m exhausted. But… a battle within the war is won through the name of Jesus ⚔️ #cultivatelife