faith · Fullness of Jesus · glory · grow · isolation · kingdom

Middle-Ground Movement

You know that place between the beginning and the end? Yeah! The middle! That place! That spot where you’re certain you’ve stepped out into a higher level of faith… A level that is extremely uncomfortable. And now… Now that you’re in the middle, you’ve actually become kind of comfortable because the initial shock of stepping out has worn off. However, you can clearly see that there’s a good distance to go before you reach the end of the season. And so, you feel somewhat agitated about the entire process because you know there’s no turning back… You must keep moving forward… You must blaze the trail as you persevere to the end.

Yeah… That’s me. That’s my current life scenario.

It’s just this serious series of persistent stretching. I feel stretched to capacity in every area of life right now. I feel like God keeps saying, “Amanda, look how far we’ve come together. Look at what we’ve accomplished in the intimate, isolated time we’ve spent cultivating life together. And I know the level of faith you’ve been asked to step out into every day feels steep and sometimes unbearable, but there is a purpose in all of it. So, you must keep moving forward. You must keep moving up that mountain. And you must stay focused on Me above all as you climb. And, even when you feel like you’ve ‘missed it,’ you must return to Me for the validation that you have in fact not missed it. So, keep going!”

And now some of you might be thinking, “Okay Amanda, why are you telling me this? Why are you sharing God and your inner growth with me AGAIN?” Well, because the relationship I’ve cultivated with Him is the realest, truest, most honest thing I know. And so, I want to encourage you to keep pursuing a deeply cultivated relationship with Holy Spirit. I want you to be inspired to turn to Him for solutions to all of your situations. I want you to look to Him as the source that works with Jesus to bring our ultimate freedom, deliverance and healing. 

And then others might be thinking, “Okay, I understand where you’re coming from because I feel Him pressuring me into more intimacy too, so how do you do it? How do you balance all of it without wanting to completely abandon ship?”

Well, honestly, I believe Holy Spirit is getting ready to move. I believe, in this supernatural, paradigm shifting era of time we’re all existing in, He’s getting ready to forcefully jump onto the scene. And because He’s preparing Himself, He must also prepare us for it. And so, He keeps asking us to climb a little higher with Him… To summit our own personal mountain of God and to remain faithful (spirit, soul, heart and body) to Him in the process.

And of course, it’s a challenge to faithfully summit. It’s a challenge to continuously step away from agendas, mindsets and lifestyles that have been controlling us so that we may see Him, His Kingdom and His truth in a raw, real and more perceptive way. And that’s the marrow of it all… That’s why I choose to keep going. Because when He moves… When He moves, He’s going to push those of us that have stepped out into the steepness of His presence into the light. He’s going to use us to communicate His Kingdom to the earth. 

And that… That inspires me so deeply at my core. It presses me to stay focused on where He’s leading because I want to work with Holy Spirit… And not against Him. I want to help Him reveal Jesus and the Kingdom in a very authentic, unifying and life-giving way. And because of that deep desire within me, I choose, in every moment, to keep my eyes focused on Him and the inner validation I am receiving about where I am headed in life. 🌱 #cultivatelife

focus · heart · isolation

What’s In HIS Heart?

Can I ask a question?… Or more so a series of questions?

In the midst of this great awakening, are we constantly and consistently focused on the heart of God and what He’s doing? Have we set aside isolated time… Time where we can focus on the will of God and what He truly wants as we move forward?

Are we allowing Him to use us based around what He’s saying… Not around what social media is telling us to do and say?

Also… Do we hope to see more truth revealed so that deception and manipulation cannot hide anymore?

Oh! And… what about healing? Do we hope the exposure of evil, wickedness and darkness is followed by a powerful gust of healing and restoration from the Holy Spirit for our country’s soul?

And if so, are we praying His movement is holy and pure… Something that is sanctified and structured in the heart of God where love dwells?

You see I ask all of these questions because they are things I keep asking myself. I need to know if my own heart is turned towards the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. I need to remind myself that this is about His Kingdom for His glory. I need the God-head to continuously push my heart towards healing and deliverance of sickness, pain and disease of the spirit, soul and body. I need the Holy Spirit to continue to probe around inside of my heart and push me towards the fulness of life through Jesus Christ.

So… Are you focused in on His heart? 🌱#cultivatelife

develop · fear · follow · isolation · keep moving forward · mature · peace · stillness · surrender

Isolation: The Reality

This is it. This is a cultivated life. It’s a tree, firmly planted… Growing in isolation from the rest of the forest… One that’s nurtured well, develops, matures and grows properly in due season.

Is the isolation enjoyable? Well of course. It’s nice to live in peace. Is it frustrating? Only when I allow it to be.

But I do believe living in isolation is healthy because it promotes so much time with God…. Time that would otherwise be spent distracted by the noise, nonsense, chaos and division that goes on in this world.

But can I tell you what mainly frustrates me about living in isolation? The reality… The reality that I cannot seem to escape the will of God. It’s just there. It’s constantly there looming over my head. And I know I cannot completely move forward until I follow through with the next step.

But you know… Sometimes I don’t want to take the next step because I feel like it’s leading me absolutely nowhere. It’s like I’m walking down a dark pathway that leads to a wall… And I think “Oh great… Now what?” And then the wall opens up as a passageway to the next step… But then I fear to take the step because I just don’t understand where all of the following is leading. I just can’t seem to wrap my mind around what it’s all about.

However, if I don’t… If WE don’t keep following, well then we shut Holy Spirit out. We limit Him. We place Him in a box that says, “Do not touch.” And when we do not touch the things of Him anymore we become very stagnant, much like the chaotic world around us and so disconnected from the spirit that lies deep within.

And I don’t know about you… But I’d rather live in isolation with God all the days of my life then become completely disconnected from Him and the things of Him. 🌱 #cultivatelife

capacity · challenge · complain · develop · faith · fear · freedom · isolation · refine · relationship · surrender

The Isolated Life

Isolation. Oh gosh, I hate isolation. Actually, I hate the initial feeling of isolation. Have you ever felt it before? It’s this blatant reality that no one completely gets you, who you are or what you’re going through. And it’s deeper than feeling alone because when we’re isolated we aren’t actually “alone”.

You see… When we meet Jesus and begin to follow Holy Spirit, we jump onto an unpaved path scored with separation. It’s just this raw understanding that no one and nothing will understand us the way He does. I mean… There’s just so much intimacy born inside of the truth that no one will ever fully get me. Because, to get me, well… You’d have to be inside of my head and my heart. And I only know one dude that can fully and completely do that… God.

But you see, real, true freedom is the reality that our old self is dead, and now we are only surrounded and protected by God’s Holy Spirit. Jesus cut and will continue to cut us free from all darkness, sickness, disease, bondage and brokenness that we’ve ever experienced. And as He cuts us free, we begin to become more and more separated from who we used to be and what we used to know.

But the freedom… The feeling of living without darkness, decay and death, it’s just so… So good. It’s so good that we MUST embrace the unpaved path of isolation or we will become bound by insecurity and fear of the unknown.

And the isolation isn’t always so raw. As we develop, mature and grow in our relationship with Father God, Jesus and Holy Spirit we become really chill with being free. It becomes second nature to just sit with Him and be.

And I don’t know if you’re fully grasping where I’m coming from. You see I spend so much time in the undistracted presence of God that He’s captivated my whole heart. And in taking my entire heart I’ve been emptied of all the chaos and calamity that go on in my mind and heart and in our world. So much emptiness has happened that I’m truly free. And it’s the best feeling… A feeling I hope everyone I encounter will experience and receive. 🌱 #cultivatelife #justlive

assignment · capacity · faith · focus · higher way · isolation · keep moving forward · process · will of God

New Assignment

For about a year now it seems as though God’s been emptying me of more… More fear. More idolatry. More selfishness. More hurt and pain. More of me.

And to be completely honest with you, it’s been a challenge for me to let go of more without an understanding of “why?”

I just keep questioning the need for the empty space inside of me, “Why does He need me to be so empty on the inside? Why does He need so much space? What’s your purpose in all of this God?”

Well two weeks ago He began to reveal some things to me… Things I never saw coming. The reason He emptied me of lies, manipulation, idol worship, fear and pain.

You see the new assignment He’s given me is a big responsibility. And so I guess I get it. I get why it was so important to stay focused on the path in front of me. I get why He said, “Don’t look to the right or to the left. Just follow Me. It will all make sense and come together in time. You’ll understand eventually.”

And so I just want to encourage you… Where ever you are in life… Where ever Holy Spirit might be leading you… Just keep following. Even when the process seems challenging, long-winded and misunderstood, He knows what He’s doing.

And what He’s doing will always create and promote the capacity for new life! 🌱 #cultivatelife #justlive

capacity · cultivation · develop · expansion · flourishing · grow · isolation · process

Expansion

I told my mom what God told me about blooming. She, who is always wiser than me, said, “Amanda, I know you’re excited, but remember this is going to be a PROCESS. Just like all of the growth you’ve experienced, blooming will take time. A bud doesn’t open overnight. It takes time to expand as it reveals the colorful world inside.”

You know… She’s absolutely right!

While most growth is painful, blooming is not. BUT it does require expansion. Which, like my mom said, takes TIME.

And if you know me, I get caught up with the time things take to get to where they need to be. Sure, I’ve gotten better over the years, but for the most part I still want things to happen faster than they do.

Blame it on our culture that’s centered on instant gratification I guess.

But in really, I’m not up for playing the blame game. I’m more into learning about the expansion process of the bloom!

It’s interesting too. It seems like all of a sudden timing is right. Timing is good. Timing is in season. So many pieces and parts I’ve hoped and prayed would come together are TRULY coming together.

And though there’s a place in me that’s nervous all the pieces coming together might separate again, I’m choosing to stay uplifted. I’m choosing to be strong in my mind, in my heart and in spirit. Because I believe it’s enough as life continues to expand and bloom.

capacity · forerunner · isolation

Square Peg, Round Hole

“Fit in… just fit in Amanda. Figure out how to fit in and then you’ll be happy and confident and secure and complete!!”

This has been a narrative I constantly play out in my head. It’s been a narrative that’s taken possession of every season and chapter of life I’ve ever entered and lived through… This longing, this desire and want to just fit in and fit in well with those around me that are popular and leading the so called “pack” of life.

The funny thing is… It’s never worked.

Fitting in for me has never happened. Ever.

Sure I have dreams of fitting in with the world around me, but then I am left very disappointed when it just doesn’t happen. And then I’m left even more disappointed when I feel like an outsider and a loner because I can’t fit.

After my grandmother was healed she said she always felt like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. And while I’m not trying to take the words from her mouth, this is kind of what it feels like for me.

Funny thing is all of this trying to “fit” has produced A LOT of self-centeredness in my heart and soul…. Because, rather than being confident and secure in the way God has created me… Rather than standing firm in who I am as Amanda, well I find myself doing everything in my power to fit into that round hole.

So now, well I find myself having to set aside this deep want to fit. I find myself having to let go of the source of my insecurity. Because the insecurity has led me down a very unsatisfying road… One filled with endless thoughts in my mind that cause me to feel small and inadequate and unworthy.

However, God keeps telling me to just “stand firm. Stand firm in who I’ve created you to be Amanda and you will stand out as yourself.” And I don’t know if anyone else feels like that right now, in this place where you keep trying to fit to finally feel complete, but I just want you to know it doesn’t work. It’s exhausting and time consuming and ironically very self-centered from the way in which God would like us to be. Because instead, He needs us to stand firm and be secure in who we are in Him. He needs us to be all that HE needs us to be, and not what we see by viewing someone else’s projected life. And yeah, it does feel a little bit uncomfortable at first to let go of this way of life; however, once we’ve done it… Well we’ll find ourselves in more peace and satisfaction than before. Plus, not fitting in might actually cause us to stand out.