keep moving forward · power · truth

The Responsibility

My goal as a writer for the past 8-10 years has always been centered around having the vulnerability to share the inner workings of myself and my relationship with God. To give a first-hand, in the moment account of a cultivated life. My heart is always aiming to demonstrate how Holy Spirit is working to refine and restore parts of me, as He pushes me towards deeper levels of development, maturity and growth.

Some days (like today) I struggle. I struggle with the inner cultivation of myself and how I should communicate it properly. 

Which is why embellishing on my current reality feels more challenging than usual. So please, try to follow what I’m expressing.

The perseverance it’s taken to reach today hasn’t been a cake-walk. The spiritual and mental determination to keep moving forward with the plans of God has felt, at times, utterly impossible from my soul’s perspective. People often say to me, “You’re so strong to keep going… To stay so committed to following Holy Spirit with such a submissive heart.” And while it’s true, it does require strength… None of the strength I’m using belongs to me. I’ve actually asked God for it because I know I need His power, strength and grace to empower all of me: spirit, soul, heart and body. Without eternal reliance and relationship with Him, I am weak and broken. 

Right now, I am learning that perseverance is much more challenging when you’re in a place of persevering (in several areas: personally, and in business), only for God to come and say, “Amanda, here is the next step. Except for this step is less of a step and more of a paradigm shifting way of operating in My kingdom. It will actually make the steps you’re taking seem more effortless, but you must apply it.”

Of course, a more effortless route is so appealing, but then I sit back and consider the responsibility and the serious learning curve I’ll need to submit to in order for this to become a component of my lifestyle. 

And that… That is my hang up… The responsibility.

But you know… I cannot become overwhelmed by the thought of the responsibility. I cannot become consumed with the hard work and training that will have to take place in order for this to become a facet of my lifestyle. I cannot embrace the lies I hear about how difficult this will be because then I will empower the liar. And I certainly cannot embrace fear, doubt or unbelief in any way because then I will begin to lose my strength and authority to cultivate this reality. 

And I don’t know if I am making complete sense, but my soul keeps saying, “If you obey God, then this path you’ve been paving and persevering down is going to be absolute hell! It’s going to be so heavy and exhausting to blaze forward!” 

However, God’s given the instruction. And He’s not asking for my opinion about it. No, He wants my complete submission and obedience to the instruction no matter how my soul feels about it. Which means, even if I don’t love the idea of another responsibility, I became responsible the moment He gave me the instruction. So, I must step forward and simply obey. He has and He will continue to supply the power, strength and grace needed for the responsibility at hand. 🌱

authority · heart · keep moving forward · power · Spirit

Locked Out!

Remember the violent spiritual behavior I shared with you last week? Remember how I said Holy Spirit said, “Do not buy what he is selling with your own free-will. Stand firm. Stand your ground. You are on holy ground. Do not step into torment or accept it”?

Okay, well since then the torment and warfare have significantly increased. At times, it’s constant, and I seem to be encountering it from all different angles. Mentally and emotionally, I keep encountering seeds of fear, doubt and unbelief. It’s as if they’ve been strategically sprinkled along the path I’m walking down as a giant distraction from the goal I am pursuing with Holy Spirit. Physically… Physically, I keep encountering headaches, chest pains, nausea, random pain that moves all over my body and does not make any sense. And then of course there are the random bruises. (Remember, we are in a spiritual war first and foremost. And the spiritual very much leaks into the tangible. Also, my body is completely healthy. I am not in any way physically sick, so please do not misinterpret what I am saying).

And while all of this feels like a lot, then I find myself encountering my once beloved past. And the past, which God has restored, redeemed and refined, really tries it’s best to weave itself into the bedrock of my heart. It tries to find a way to make me believe I should still feel angry, disappointed and all together completely hateful.

Now, the unfortunate reality about the torment and warfare is that I keep buying into it. On multiple occasions I’ve actually picked up the seeds of fear, doubt and unbelief and walked down the path with them some. However, they are so heavy and full of obvious evil (kind of like a horcrux from Harry Potter) that I have to completely abandon them and keep walking. I’ve actually stopped myself in the midst of a breakdown and said, “No. No, I am not buying this. God has given me a spirit of love, power and a sound mind. Not a spirit of fear, doubt and unbelief.” And then I asked my human spirit to come forward, and she almost laughed with joy when I felt her. And then she said, “Amanda, we are fine. We are on a solid path of provision, led and guided by Holy Spirit. Stop letting your soul buy into fear. You soul is to be submissive to me as I am submissive to Holy Spirit.”

So, I pulled myself together and marched forward. 

But you know what I’ve realized? The kingdom of darkness and all of its evil don’t have dominant territory over my life anymore. They’ve been losing significant power over the years as I’ve followed Holy Spirit down a path of healing, freedom and restoration through Jesus. And because they don’t have dominant territory, they are completely locked out of my heart. Actually, I keep finding myself, on multiple occasions, laughing with joy because I know I am at a threshold moment. A moment where they can try to get in and divide the work God has done in me, but they will not be successful because there’s too much life and truth coursing through the essence and frequency of my entire being. 

And I don’t know who needs to hear this, and I don’t know if anyone reading this relates, but you should stand your ground against fear, doubt and unbelief. Especially if you’ve gained freedom. Stand your ground and remind the enemy that he doesn’t have a legal right to come in anymore. He doesn’t have the authority to trespass in your life anymore. He’s been locked out! His power has dwindled down to that of seeds on the ground that he has to lay out strategically. There isn’t any more spiritual entanglement. What he’s doing is a ruse. It’s a con. A way for him to get us to quit so that we cannot move forward into the plans and purposes God has ordained for right now. 

And if you haven’t experienced spiritual freedom, I want to encourage you to seek it out. Dive deep into areas of your life that still feel oppressed. Ask God to provide you with the faith needed to stand up to the fear, doubt and unbelief you’re experiencing. And, if you feel that all of this runs deeper, never abandon the reality that the entanglement might actually run deep within the veins of your spiritual bloodline. A spiritual bloodline that can be cleansed, redeemed and restored so that you can stand firm in moments like I am in right now, reminding the darkness, “You are completely locked out!” 🌱

keep moving forward · Mind · power

Violence

The past three days or so I’ve felt a growing sense of violence surrounding me. Like I can’t breathe because I feel an extreme measure of torment pursuing my heart and soul. And I’ve never been a depressed type, but I do feel a very sudden and extreme sense of hopelessness weighing me down.

Of course I’ve been questioning, “What the actual hell is going on? Why do I suddenly feel this way? What’s the root? Where is this coming from and how do I cut the source off and prevent another wave from coming?”

So, after literally willing myself out of bed this morning, I sat and pondered the source. And then I found it. Friday. Friday there was a clear and direct deposit in the spirit from Holy Spirit. A deposit that gave my sister and I a direct conclusion for a project we’ve been faithfully working on. And, from that point, the enemy of my soul began to enact his plan, shifting my focus from God’s deposit to his own deposit of extreme doubt, fear and hopelessness. I actually sat on the end of my bed yesterday crying because I couldn’t seem to switch off the aimed frequency causing the mental and physical torment I felt.

After gaining the source, I began to feel somewhat better so I asked Holy Spirit, “What do I do now?” He said, “Call your human spirit forward.” So, I did. And I asked her what was up. Her response, “The enemy of your soul is trying to make you quit. He would like you to focus on the tangible world around you and cause you to exist from a soulish playing field of life. He’s trying to divide your spirit and your soul, while creating confusion and torment from within.” 

After my human spirit was finished speaking, I turned back to Holy Spirit for direction. He said, “Divine alignment is happening in the spirit concerning the project. Don’t take your focus off of Me. I told you the Fall would be messy but to remain focused on Me. There’s been a new release concerning this project you are working on. The accuser is after you. If he can get you to fold, he can get the entire project to fold. Tell him no. Tell him you aren’t interested in whatever he is selling. Tell him you choose to operate with love, power and a sound mind. Not fear. Do not buy what he is selling with your own free-will. Stand firm. Stand your ground. You are on holy ground. Do not step into torment or accept it.”

And I’m sharing this because it’s vital to be reminded of the violent nature of the power we combat in the spirit. It’s essential to see that complete submission to Holy Spirit followed by consistent forward movement creates great stress and fear inside of the kingdom of darkness’s camp. And it’s extremely necessary that we pull ourselves closer to Holy Spirit, determine the root of the enemies plan, devise a scheme with Holy Spirit to fight back and then KEEP MOVING FOWARD towards the goal He’s placed in front of us.

And I know that it is challenging. We live in unprecedented times. However, we must keep our eyes focused on the path He’s placed before us, rather than the violence aiming to take us under and consume the divine culture and quality of our spiritual nature. 🌱

keep moving forward · soul · Spirit

Faith for the Mountain

I love this time of the year. God’s supernatural window is open in an extraordinary way as He pulls Himself closer to us. And you know I found myself sitting with Him this morning, discussing a list of projects that lay before me, praying for a number of situations that need to come into divine alignment and also receiving some solid wisdom and gifting for forward movement.

And then… Then He said to me, “I want to give you My mountain of healing. I want to plant it in your heart. It is for you to share with others.” Then I immediately asked, “Is this mountain a seed, or is it like a potted plant, one that’s already semi-nurtured and developed, that needs to be planted on the grounds of my heart?” Then I saw what looked very similar to a tiny replica of Disney’s Magic Kingdom with roots hanging off of it. It was about the size of an engagement ring box. And He said, “It’s a plant. And I am going to plant it inside of you. You will share it with others. I will water it with My glory so it may grow.”

Hmmm… Interesting…

Now, I really don’t have the slightest clue what’s ahead. If I were to guess based on the boundaries of my soulish mind, I would say it will grow and become whatever He intends it to be. But then, I am also very aware that my human spirit’s superconscious mind and Holy Spirit can provide me with more answers than my soul can. 

So, I asked them. And I saw very clearly (but in way more details than I’m allowed to share) that His mountain of healing is going to be a cultivated journey of sorts with many highs and lows. Which does make me feel somewhat prepared, but then also causes me to embrace my reality… Which is that I’m going to have to use faith… Faith that I don’t have in this current moment will be needed to help this mountain grow.

And I believe it’s all together very exciting. It’s exciting to think, “WOW! I will have to step out into uncharted territory to watch this thing develop, mature and grow into what God intends it to be inside of me for others.”

Because what’s the point of believing in God, Jesus and the Kingdom of Heaven if we aren’t pushed to the limits in our relationships with them and the world around us? What’s the point to trusting if we aren’t perpetually thrust into a place of faith for the unseen every single day? What’s the point of saying, “Yes, I’ll submit and follow,” to only turn our attention back to the culture of the ever-evolving, illusive and enchanting “American Dream?” And as much as I enjoy the “ladder of so-called success,” what’s the point of climbing it if His heart, visions, dreams and purposes aren’t sewn into the very foundation of it all with a promise to produce a quality harvest of fruit on the other end? 🌱

keep moving forward · Spirit

Seasonal Milestones

It’s dark, tight and completely isolated, but not in a divisive, evil or wicked way. More so in a deeply concealed and ingeniously crafted manner.

I am confident. I am strong. I firmly believe moving forward with great courage and tremendous hope is the only way now.

And I hear Him saying, “Run with perseverance. Run hard. Do not look to the left or to the right with jealousy, pride and covetous. Do not look behind in grief, disappointment and frustration. Do not look ahead with fear, unbelief and worry. Instead, run with perseverance. It’s going to take everything I’ve deposited in the depths of you to breakthrough into the next season.”

But then I do ponder past seasons… So intricately and carefully designed, they are eternal fuel firing from the depths of my spirit, heart and soul. They are calling me higher and propelling me forward.

Actually, the past seasons of refinement, development, maturity and growth appear to be indispensable and multifaceted gifts… Gifts that have actually morphed into the faith I need to keep picking up the assignment of forward movement. 

And I’m sharing this with you because I understand how challenging it is to hear Holy Spirit’s voice and then blindly follow His very unknown, uncertain and ever-evolving ways for years without breakthrough. I understand how challenging it can feel to wonder, “How much longer until we reach the promises You hold so dear to Your heart God.” But then I am also beginning to embrace that I’ve needed each season He’s led me to and led me through in the past. Because each season, each season is a milestone. Milestones filled with intricate chaos. Milestones dashed with process and progress. Milestones that have cultivated the very faith my spirit, heart and soul need to finish this leg of the race! 🌱 #cultivatelife

keep moving forward · Spirit

Questioning It All

I had a vision yesterday morning. I was in a dark, spacious cave, and I saw a waterfall flowing from a tall mountain-top of black rock. The mouth of the waterfall was wide. As the water fell, it plunged into a pool at the bottom, and then began to rapidly flow into a ravine. The ravine was different from the spacious cave. It was very tube like, tight and cramped. Still dark, but elevating downward. Then, very suddenly, I saw what seemed to be an end to the darkness… A bright light!

After this played out, I heard Holy Spirit. He said, “You are in a very tight, isolated and concealed space right now. So much is happening at once. I know it doesn’t seem like it is, but it is. Trust the flow. Trust what you feel in your human spirit. Trust the direction you’re being led… Even though you don’t understand. Trust Me.”

And then He stopped talking.

Lately, it’s been extremely challenging to keep moving forward. When you walk through many difficult seasons of life, without breaking into what God’s promised, you begin to question everything. And I have been. I am questioning it all. 

You see… It’s just the insight… The ideas… The concepts He’s given me over the years… Well, I’ve held so firm to them. He revealed them to me, planted them in my heart, watered them, nurtured them, watched them develop, mature and grow… And I see the fruit. I see what His ideas, concepts and dreams have produced in my own life and the lives of those that are close to me. But then… Then I ask, “What about the rest? What about the broad scope of all You envisioned and shared with me? And, I know I lack a lot of understanding, but how much longer will You choose to keep Your work concealed? Because I don’t care about fame, fortune, followers or ‘success.’ That doesn’t move me. Honestly, I only, truly care about You. I care that multitudes see how sensational of a feeling it is to be satisfied by only You. I care to share the same measure of love with others that You have shared with me. Everyone has to know! They must know that You aren’t so much ‘cool or hip or relevant.’ Instead, You’re legitimate and virtuous in Your very nature. You’re exactly what each person needs You to be in his/her own life at any given moment because relationship with you is a lifestyle, not a pop culture phenomenon or religion.”

His response? Quiet. Very still. Actually, His stature is so still that it echoes in a very boisterous way. Which then leads me to be still. To calm my soul. To stay present, confident and very focused on exactly where He’s leading. To not be conformed to my lack of understanding, but to just keep moving forward through this very tight, isolated and concealed space in time. 🌱