If you know me well then you know I talk about the will of God A LOT! It’s really vital for me to continue to cultivate a space where I listen, He leads and I follow. And it’s become fairly simple to do these things; however, the one thing that CONSTANTLY gets me hung up are MY feelings.
You see they’re just this sticky web of illusion and confusion. And, when I rely on them over what God has spoken, well I leave myself open to great deception and become a mess of a person.
And it doesn’t have to be like that. I don’t have to turn inside out over what He’s spoken versus what I feel and see.
So I’ve made a choice. Every time I feel overwhelmed by life’s circumstances versus what He’s spoken, I choose to stop myself and remind myself of Him, His truth, His words and our relationship as a whole.
You see… God never gave us feeling to enable us to trust Him. He never gave feelings to encourage us to trust Him. We live a lifestyle of faith, which isn’t a feeling but a choice… An action. And I know self wants to live by feeling. But we can’t because it leaves us liable to great deception, believing God will not be true to what He said and promised.
So… If you relate to what I’m saying, please be encouraged to live from what He’s spoken, rather than a place of chaotic, ever changing feeling 🌱 #cultivatelife
”Gosh… It’s so beautiful up here. Up here above the chaos below.” That’s what I said to God as I peered out the window from the airplane. It was flying high above what looked like Heaven below.
And He’s been saying, “Come higher with Me.” And I’ve been arguing back, “No. No. NO! Because I don’t know what’s up there. And I have to let go of SO much more of what I want in life. This isn’t fair!”
God’s will… His view of what my life should continue to look like… It’s so freaking complex and misunderstood by my human mind. And… Honestly, it really takes me living through my spirit, rather than my soul and mind to continue to follow Holy Spirit where He’s leading.
But, through the deep struggle in my soul, I push through and relentlessly follow.
And now… Now I can begin to see what He’s been talking about… The reasons why He’s been asking me to, “come higher” and “cultivate life from a state of Heaven.”
And I know it sounds a little strange, but this place we just climbed to has more peace than I ever fathomed could be cultivated within myself. It’s just this constant, weightless feeling that I can’t describe with any single word but “Heavenly.”
Nothing really bothers me up here. My eyes are focused on Him and His will and I’m not overtaken with fear, stress, anxiety and worry. It’s just so still… Even though I have no clue what “next” is.
And I don’t know if this is where you are today. I don’t know what your relationship and path with God look like; however, I just want to speak from a place of encouragement and experience when saying this… Keep following Him. I know He’s frustrating and sees things in such a different WAY than we do, but when we truly trust and follow through wholeheartedly, I believe the destination is so incredibly rewarding. And no, no it doesn’t ever consist of a destination of power, fame or fortune. But it does consist of what we need for basic living… Which are the tools to continue to LIVE and cultivate a healthy lifestyle with Him 🌱 #cultivatelife
“Does trusting the Lord and not worrying mean we’re coping out?”
“No Bill. It just means we’re doing what God told us to do.”
That… That was a conversation my grandparents had several years ago as they continued to follow Holy Spirit wherever He led them.
And… You know, this… This is exactly how I feel right now. My lack of worry almost makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong. Like I’m “coping out” on life.
Because, normally, when we say we “trust God,” we still secretly harbor anxiety and worry in our hearts. And then we just keep that “smile” on our faces… You know, the one that says, “I’m good! I’m fine!! I’m trusting God!!!”
However, faith… Faith truly is a lifestyle for me. It’s a real walk that requires so much risk… So much risk that I feel like my forehead constantly reads, “She gambles with God!”
And I guess I’m saying all of this because I want to remind myself and you that it’s okay to wholeheartedly trust God. Actually, it’s 1000% healthy and normal to embrace that initial wave of fear we all feel when we step into the unknown, but then it’s also so healthy to have so much of God within us… So much of Him that we ride over that wave of fear with so much confidence, courage and strength in our hearts… Enough to say, “I willnot carry the fear I feel… This fear that would like to collide with my heart and drown me.” 🌱 #cultivatelife
Do you honestly want to know where I’ve been lately and what I’ve been doing?
I’ve been studying… No actually I’ve been deep sea diving for treasure… Treasure God’s been pulling my heart toward.
You know I haven’t wanted to pursue it though. For more than a month I was afraid to go “there,” because going “there” meant I’d have to follow the footsteps of the past. And those footsteps… well they’ve seemed very heavy and almost grotesque to step into.
But… Well I chose to cast my fear aside. I chose to cast it aside and obey God. And when I did He showed me that following the footsteps I was convinced I should follow wasn’t the best choice for me. He showed me that the footsteps would keep me bound to religious, boxed in, manmade ideals of the past. He showed me that His footsteps for me to follow are much freer, endless and boundless.
So… So I’ve been following them. I’ve been stepping into what He says is “simplistic, eternal and yet consistently patient.”
And I can’t really reveal the glory He’s given me yet; however, I do want to encourage you. I want to encourage you to examine your spiritual life… To look at it and really ask yourself who and what is calling the shots. Who and what is dictating your moves? Is it voices of those that have gone before you? Is it words that might be mistranslated and skewed for a time and place? Or is it just Holy Spirit?… You know that inner voice or nudge we all hear/feel to some degree… The one that leads us to higher levels of freedom and love through Jesus Christ. The one that I believe we’re all destined to connect to because He allows us to cultivate life to the best of our ability.
And then… Then when you answer these questions, please be encouraged to step out. To leave the past, religion and all other voices aside. Because His lead is the best lead we’ll ever encounter. 🌱 #cultivatelife
Do you know what it’s like to go through things that are truly agonizing for the spirit and soul? Moments in life where you promise yourself that you will get through “this” and you WILL live to tell about “it?”
Yeah… I believe I’ve lived through so many of these moments. Moments of life that have completely broken my heart, forced me out into the great unknown and left me in a place of complete surrender and freedom.
But then… Well I also believe these moments are interesting because they can lose their shine after a while. Time passes and the experiences aren’t as fresh as they once were. Life balances out and you begin to breathe a grateful breath of fresh air again. And then you hope that life always stays like “this”… That you don’t have to face anymore heartache, agony and pain.
And I don’t know about you, but I think this is where I am right now… Living in a time where life isn’t heart-wrenching, agonizing and grey… But then it’s also not over-the-moon/my heart’s greatest desire fantastic… It’s just… Well, it’s just good.
And in this goodness is so much grace. Grace that reminds me that the past is in the past, and the future is still a mystery to be lived. But today… Today is good. 🌱❄️ #cultivatelife #justlive
To struggle inwardly and not know or understand it’s true purpose leaves one feeling emotionally exhausted and completely overwhelmed.
And I know there’s a purpose to the struggle I’ve been experiencing for the past few weeks. But… Honestly… Honestly, I can’t begin to tell you what it is. And God seems to be so mysteriously greedy with the details of it all. “Just keep moving forward and trusting me. Be holy as I am holy.” He says.
Holiness… All of this for holiness God?! Really now?!?!
And I get it… Holiness sounds SUPER religious and outdated. So, for just a brief moment, let’s think about it like this…. When I choose to let God empty me of more darkness, it brings more light right? And with that light, I have more space for Holy Spirit right? Okay, so if there’s more Holy Spirit in me because darkness has been let out, then I am holy as He is holy. Right?
Seems simple. Feels… Well the process is a damn struggle on the inside.
But ya know… If darkness never comes out to fight, then how will it ever be conquered by light? And… How can what’s inside of me ever be transformed into true holiness if I’m not willing to surrender and just allow the light to incase the challenge that I feel? 🌱🧐 #cultivatelife #justlive
I thought about quitting today. I told God, “I can’t do this anymore.” Actually… I’ve been telling Him that for a few weeks now. “I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want your stupid promises! It’s cost so much to get to this place! I don’t care about your will!”
You see my heart is deeply battling. And I want to walk away. I’d give anything to walk away. Walking away would be so much easier in this moment than moving forward.
But, in truth, it’s just my emotions… My feelings are trying to muddle what God, His promises and what He keeps telling me to do.
But when I step back… When I step back and breathe… When I step back long enough to hear His voice say, “I need you to keep moving forward.” Well… I know in my heart I have no other choice but to keep moving forward. 🌱 #cultivatelife #keepmovingforward
If deception called, would you pick up the phone and answer? If manipulation were to stare you in the eyes and claim to be “truth,” would you have the discernment to see THE truth?
Deception and manipulation, at their highest levels, have been released. Do you see it? Can you feel it? Are you asking Holy Spirit what THE truth actually is? Or… Is the Holy Spirit you know and commune with a counterfeit spirit?
We live in incredible times of falseness of all kinds. Times when darkness looks like pure light. I only speak from experience though. I used to live in deep, deep deception of dark light.
So… Again, if deception calls, will you answer? 🌱👑⚔️ #cultivatelife
How do I describe America other than saying, “She’s like a teenager… Young… Wildly curious… Created with a divine purpose by You and You alone… But so desensitized, distracted, drugged up and desperate for real, true belonging, love and attention.”
She’s been mishandled by people seeking their own selfish, satanic agendas. People who would rather put themselves above the hearts and souls that inhabit her land.
And I’m asking You to forgive her. Forgive her for being misled, mismanaged and misguided. Forgive her for the pride, wickedness, hate and bitterness burning in her heart. Transform all that she is so she will become healthy, whole and wonderfully new and complete.
Open the eyes of her people… The ones standing at the bottom of this trick-like, phony, pyramid pony we’ve been deceived into serving. Open our eyes, humble our hearts and bring freedom, restoration and healing to our country.
I call all of the hearts and souls that love You and love You with his or her entire heart out of hiding and into the streets… Lord let them fill the streets of this broken nation in such a mighty way that healing spills from Your heart, to theirs and into the lives of the lost, sick and hurting.
God forgive us. Forgive us and do not let us be distracted or disengaged by the enemy and his plans any longer, but let us move forward as the war wages and battles are won for Your Kingdom and Your glory alone! 🌱👑 #cultivatelife
Land of the spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically enslaved, insecure and weak… I’m sorry. I’m sorry that we’ve become such a broken, run-down society… One that is so prone to every sickness and disease “they” feed us. I’m sorry our minds are so controlled and that we’ve lost touch with reality… That we’ve lost the vision of who God called us to be as a nation. I’m sorry that we’re so caught up in our devices and disorders that we miss the actual LIFE that’s happening around us.
I’m sorry that it takes us experiencing physical sickness, death and disease to realize we are spiritually sick and dying; and that we need to wake up and place our intangible needs… The needs of the heart and soul first!
I’m sorry we worship money in our hearts, but have the audacity to say, “thank you God” for all of the “stuff” we constantly accumulate. I’m sorry for what the “American Dream” has evolved into, and how we are so hyped on making money so we can afford more useless contraptions to make our oh so “difficult” lives simpler.
I’m sorry that we don’t have faith anymore… We badger God about miracles and healings, yet I ask, “Where is our nation’s faith? When is the last time a group of believers actually followed Holy Spirit out on the ledge and made it a lifestyle to depend on Him and Him alone for everything!?”
I’m sorry that we are so “proud to be American,” but not in a grateful or humble way… More so in a selfish, egotistical, no one will ever touch “us” way.
I’m sorry that we are sick, divided, decaying & dying… All while Satan (yes Satan) sits by and cashes in on our wickedness, bitterness, jealousy and hate… Cultivating a kingdom far greater than he should EVER have!
And I don’t know how we’ll change. I don’t know how God will restore this land with the power of Holy Spirit; however, I truly believe we are about to tip over an edge. And I hope… I truthfully hope with my entire heart that you come out of this alive America. And that you can be used to show the entire world how vital it is to believe and have faith in a being far greater than all of us… Because in Him and through Him is eternal life! 🌱 #cultivatelife