Do you know what it’s like to go through things that are truly agonizing for the spirit and soul? Moments in life where you promise yourself that you will get through “this” and you WILL live to tell about “it?”
Yeah… I believe I’ve lived through so many of these moments. Moments of life that have completely broken my heart, forced me out into the great unknown and left me in a place of complete surrender and freedom.
But then… Well I also believe these moments are interesting because they can lose their shine after a while. Time passes and the experiences aren’t as fresh as they once were. Life balances out and you begin to breathe a grateful breath of fresh air again. And then you hope that life always stays like “this”… That you don’t have to face anymore heartache, agony and pain.
And I don’t know about you, but I think this is where I am right now… Living in a time where life isn’t heart-wrenching, agonizing and grey… But then it’s also not over-the-moon/my heart’s greatest desire fantastic… It’s just… Well, it’s just good.
And in this goodness is so much grace. Grace that reminds me that the past is in the past, and the future is still a mystery to be lived. But today… Today is good. 🌱❄️ #cultivatelife #justlive
To struggle inwardly and not know or understand it’s true purpose leaves one feeling emotionally exhausted and completely overwhelmed.
And I know there’s a purpose to the struggle I’ve been experiencing for the past few weeks. But… Honestly… Honestly, I can’t begin to tell you what it is. And God seems to be so mysteriously greedy with the details of it all. “Just keep moving forward and trusting me. Be holy as I am holy.” He says.
Holiness… All of this for holiness God?! Really now?!?!
And I get it… Holiness sounds SUPER religious and outdated. So, for just a brief moment, let’s think about it like this…. When I choose to let God empty me of more darkness, it brings more light right? And with that light, I have more space for Holy Spirit right? Okay, so if there’s more Holy Spirit in me because darkness has been let out, then I am holy as He is holy. Right?
Seems simple. Feels… Well the process is a damn struggle on the inside.
But ya know… If darkness never comes out to fight, then how will it ever be conquered by light? And… How can what’s inside of me ever be transformed into true holiness if I’m not willing to surrender and just allow the light to incase the challenge that I feel? 🌱🧐 #cultivatelife #justlive
I thought about quitting today. I told God, “I can’t do this anymore.” Actually… I’ve been telling Him that for a few weeks now. “I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want your stupid promises! It’s cost so much to get to this place! I don’t care about your will!”
You see my heart is deeply battling. And I want to walk away. I’d give anything to walk away. Walking away would be so much easier in this moment than moving forward.
But, in truth, it’s just my emotions… My feelings are trying to muddle what God, His promises and what He keeps telling me to do.
But when I step back… When I step back and breathe… When I step back long enough to hear His voice say, “I need you to keep moving forward.” Well… I know in my heart I have no other choice but to keep moving forward. 🌱 #cultivatelife #keepmovingforward
If deception called, would you pick up the phone and answer? If manipulation were to stare you in the eyes and claim to be “truth,” would you have the discernment to see THE truth?
Deception and manipulation, at their highest levels, have been released. Do you see it? Can you feel it? Are you asking Holy Spirit what THE truth actually is? Or… Is the Holy Spirit you know and commune with a counterfeit spirit?
We live in incredible times of falseness of all kinds. Times when darkness looks like pure light. I only speak from experience though. I used to live in deep, deep deception of dark light.
So… Again, if deception calls, will you answer? 🌱👑⚔️ #cultivatelife
How do I describe America other than saying, “She’s like a teenager… Young… Wildly curious… Created with a divine purpose by You and You alone… But so desensitized, distracted, drugged up and desperate for real, true belonging, love and attention.”
She’s been mishandled by people seeking their own selfish, satanic agendas. People who would rather put themselves above the hearts and souls that inhabit her land.
And I’m asking You to forgive her. Forgive her for being misled, mismanaged and misguided. Forgive her for the pride, wickedness, hate and bitterness burning in her heart. Transform all that she is so she will become healthy, whole and wonderfully new and complete.
Open the eyes of her people… The ones standing at the bottom of this trick-like, phony, pyramid pony we’ve been deceived into serving. Open our eyes, humble our hearts and bring freedom, restoration and healing to our country.
I call all of the hearts and souls that love You and love You with his or her entire heart out of hiding and into the streets… Lord let them fill the streets of this broken nation in such a mighty way that healing spills from Your heart, to theirs and into the lives of the lost, sick and hurting.
God forgive us. Forgive us and do not let us be distracted or disengaged by the enemy and his plans any longer, but let us move forward as the war wages and battles are won for Your Kingdom and Your glory alone! 🌱👑 #cultivatelife
Land of the spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically enslaved, insecure and weak… I’m sorry. I’m sorry that we’ve become such a broken, run-down society… One that is so prone to every sickness and disease “they” feed us. I’m sorry our minds are so controlled and that we’ve lost touch with reality… That we’ve lost the vision of who God called us to be as a nation. I’m sorry that we’re so caught up in our devices and disorders that we miss the actual LIFE that’s happening around us.
I’m sorry that it takes us experiencing physical sickness, death and disease to realize we are spiritually sick and dying; and that we need to wake up and place our intangible needs… The needs of the heart and soul first!
I’m sorry we worship money in our hearts, but have the audacity to say, “thank you God” for all of the “stuff” we constantly accumulate. I’m sorry for what the “American Dream” has evolved into, and how we are so hyped on making money so we can afford more useless contraptions to make our oh so “difficult” lives simpler.
I’m sorry that we don’t have faith anymore… We badger God about miracles and healings, yet I ask, “Where is our nation’s faith? When is the last time a group of believers actually followed Holy Spirit out on the ledge and made it a lifestyle to depend on Him and Him alone for everything!?”
I’m sorry that we are so “proud to be American,” but not in a grateful or humble way… More so in a selfish, egotistical, no one will ever touch “us” way.
I’m sorry that we are sick, divided, decaying & dying… All while Satan (yes Satan) sits by and cashes in on our wickedness, bitterness, jealousy and hate… Cultivating a kingdom far greater than he should EVER have!
And I don’t know how we’ll change. I don’t know how God will restore this land with the power of Holy Spirit; however, I truly believe we are about to tip over an edge. And I hope… I truthfully hope with my entire heart that you come out of this alive America. And that you can be used to show the entire world how vital it is to believe and have faith in a being far greater than all of us… Because in Him and through Him is eternal life! 🌱 #cultivatelife
“Stop what you’re doing!”… That’s what doubt and disbelief scream at me. “Stop what you’re doing and don’t move forward because you’re a fool and this is ridiculous.”
And it’s like that every time I step out in faith… I feel great at first. I feel like, I can “take on the world.” I feel like the hand of cards I placed on the table is being played nicely.
And then… Then huge waves of doubt and disbelief come. And they remind me of the past. They remind me how disappointed I’ve felt at times for excepting one thing and receiving another. They remind me how long the journey has been without the promises fulfilled. They remind me of the isolation I feel for following Holy Spirit instead of listening to man-made systems and structures. They remind me of the death, pain and sacrifice I’ve been through to get today… The people and places I’ve lost and the relationships that went sour. They remind me that I don’t know what I’m actually doing in life, nor do I have any control at all.
I hate doubt and disbelief.
But… Well, without them… Would taking the risk even be a thing? If my past, present and future weren’t all on the table ready to be gambled at my own free-will, then would I even be in God’s will?
And so I step back… I step back with humility, and I remember how much I develop, mature and grow every time I’m faithful. I remind myself that God’s never EVER left my side… If anything we’ve grown closer. I also remind myself how good it feels to flourish on the inside when I’m faced with challenge and adversity that are larger than me. And then… Then I step forward with a positive attitude and a clean, yet faithful heart. 🌱 #cultivatelife #justlive