I thought about quitting today. I told God, “I can’t do this anymore.” Actually… I’ve been telling Him that for a few weeks now. “I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want your stupid promises! It’s cost so much to get to this place! I don’t care about your will!”
You see my heart is deeply battling. And I want to walk away. I’d give anything to walk away. Walking away would be so much easier in this moment than moving forward.
But, in truth, it’s just my emotions… My feelings are trying to muddle what God, His promises and what He keeps telling me to do.
But when I step back… When I step back and breathe… When I step back long enough to hear His voice say, “I need you to keep moving forward.” Well… I know in my heart I have no other choice but to keep moving forward. 🌱 #cultivatelife #keepmovingforward
“What’s in the depth of your heart Amanda?”
That’s what Father God seems to be searching for right now.
Since November started, I have had pivotal moments where I can sense Father God weighing my heart.
It all started with Him checking for idol worship. He gave me a task to do and I waited 24+ hours to follow through. Somehow the idol’s voice still seemed to carry a little bit of weight in my heart. But… Well… I pushed through and followed what Holy Spirit asked.
And, you know… I really don’t have to share any of this with you. What happens in my heart and yours is very personal. Especially what’s between us and God.
However, I believe we’ve all entered a time where God is beginning to weigh all of our hearts. I believe He’s searching for a remnant of people who have allowed Him to be at the very center of his or her life. A group that is separate unto Him… One that doesn’t allow self, religion, entertainment, fame or fortune to dictate his/her moves. A group that says, “I will do your will regardless of what he/she does, says or thinks… I will follow you regardless of what money says I can or cannot do.”
And so I hope, I really truly hope when He comes to weigh your heart, He finds a spotless one… One full of the real, true Jesus, Holy Spirit and Father God… And not the false, counterfeit “lights” that seem to be multiplying as they deceive and manipulate the masses.
A heart that’s patiently waiting to be used for the real, true Kingdom of God. ♥️🌱 #cultivatelife #justlive
Deception called. The masses are answering. Manipulation stared us in the eyes. The droves are buying her “truth.”
My soul feels heavy. It’s actually grieving. I feel like I’m watching my dad die all over again, but this time I’m deeply concerned about what will happen to the souls incased within each body.
And I guess He said it would happen like this. He told me, “The masses will be deceived. People you love and care for will not see truth. This is the highest form of deception Amanda. They will call false light “the light.”
But my soul… My soul is still heavy. It grieves.
But then all at the same time the war wages on… It wages, so I must let go, pray and move forward. 🌱⚔️ #cultivatelife #justlive
If deception called, would you pick up the phone and answer? If manipulation were to stare you in the eyes and claim to be “truth,” would you have the discernment to see THE truth?
Deception and manipulation, at their highest levels, have been released. Do you see it? Can you feel it? Are you asking Holy Spirit what THE truth actually is? Or… Is the Holy Spirit you know and commune with a counterfeit spirit?
We live in incredible times of falseness of all kinds. Times when darkness looks like pure light. I only speak from experience though. I used to live in deep, deep deception of dark light.
So… Again, if deception calls, will you answer? 🌱👑⚔️ #cultivatelife
If you were to ask me what I battle with the most today… I wouldn’t say a sugar addiction, body insecurities, the fear of being alone, pride, jealousy and envy or even a broken heart. Instead I would say, “The will… The will of God.”
You know I believe His will is the most complex thing I’ve EVER encountered. It’s just so full of mystery and misunderstanding. And following it, for me, is still challenge.
I mean He keeps asking that I keep giving up everything I’m holding to grasp something higher… Something more evaluated and holy than what my mind possesses.
And yeah, sure that sounds cool… But remember being human means I’m selfish. I still want what I want when I want it. And… I also want to understand why He keeps saying, “Be patient Amanda. Be patient with my timing. And until that time, follow what I say.”
But then He knows… Gosh He knows me so well. And He knows I will chose Him and what He wants EVERY SINGLE TIME.
And I don’t know if you understand this. I hope that you do. I hope that you’ve chosen and continue to chose to follow Holy Spirit with your entire heart. Because when we do… When we actually constantly and consistently follow through with His will and His ways, well I believe we’ve begun to cultivate a lifestyle of following Holy Spirit. And… what’s better than that?! 🌱👑 #cultivatelife #justlive
“God… Weird dude.” That’s what one of my closest friends says every time Holy Spirit leads her into something new.
And it’s true ya know? God is an intricately complex being… Full of love, authenticity and vulnerability. But then there’s this insane strangeness to Him… There’s so much mystery surrounding Him and what He truly wants and needs.
Which is why I think we have faith.
Faith is choosing to listen to and follow God into all of His strangeness. It’s leaping off the cliff with every bit of madness He’s led us too. Its going, “Okay dude, You see life differently than me, but I want to become a bigger part of what You see. So You lead and I’ll follow you into this unseen, supernatural world.”
And if that causes our lives to look misunderstood, strange or mad… Well then I guess we’re truly following Him… Because, His quirkinesses is officially our quirkinesses. 🌱 #cultivatelife #justlive
How do I describe America other than saying, “She’s like a teenager… Young… Wildly curious… Created with a divine purpose by You and You alone… But so desensitized, distracted, drugged up and desperate for real, true belonging, love and attention.”
She’s been mishandled by people seeking their own selfish, satanic agendas. People who would rather put themselves above the hearts and souls that inhabit her land.
And I’m asking You to forgive her. Forgive her for being misled, mismanaged and misguided. Forgive her for the pride, wickedness, hate and bitterness burning in her heart. Transform all that she is so she will become healthy, whole and wonderfully new and complete.
Open the eyes of her people… The ones standing at the bottom of this trick-like, phony, pyramid pony we’ve been deceived into serving. Open our eyes, humble our hearts and bring freedom, restoration and healing to our country.
I call all of the hearts and souls that love You and love You with his or her entire heart out of hiding and into the streets… Lord let them fill the streets of this broken nation in such a mighty way that healing spills from Your heart, to theirs and into the lives of the lost, sick and hurting.
God forgive us. Forgive us and do not let us be distracted or disengaged by the enemy and his plans any longer, but let us move forward as the war wages and battles are won for Your Kingdom and Your glory alone! 🌱👑 #cultivatelife