Category: Spirit

Jaded Heart?

On By AmandaIn death, Spirit, truthLeave a comment

Unfortunately, it’s been quite a challenge to accept God’s love lately. I’ve just been so caught up in pain, anger, bitterness and sorrow. And, for a brief moment, I almost let them talk me into hardening my heart.

You see… I could feel this wave of emotion and constant thought trying to push their way into my heart so that they could completely own it. I knew the feelings and thoughts weren’t my own though. In my heart I knew they belonged to an outside threat. Something wickedly supernatural that was begging me to follow it over the love of God.

And I do suppose the pain, anger, bitterness and sorrow are a direct result of loss. Sometimes I just feel like I’ve lost so much that I focus on my losses far more than my gains. I look at the past and how painful things have been, rather than focusing my attention to the present where love is.

However, I’m happy to report that my heart hasn’t been overtaken by these dark forces. Instead, I’ve chosen to place my constant focus on forgiveness, grace and love.

And… Honestly, that route has been a challenge too because life and death keep giving me reasons to become angry, bitter and somewhat jaded. But, well I just can’t stand the feeling of their presence anymore.

You see I enjoy feeling the love of God and then giving it back to others way more than I enjoy sulking around like the plague. And so I hope, I genuinely hope the pursuit of forgiveness, grace and love I am focused towards takes me places I never imagined to go. I hope they open avenues, windows and doors I never dreamed of walking through . And… most importantly, I hope they remain my constant way of life. ♥️ #cultivatelife

Lovely Perception

On By AmandaIn Spirit, truthLeave a comment

Can I be honest for a moment? I honestly see no real need for Valentine’s Day. I mean if you want to spend a day wasting more time, money and energy on those you love to prove you love them… Then go ahead and add pink and red hearts to your narrative. But, you see it’s all really a little much for me.

However, since we’re talking about love, I believe it’s important to mention something I’ve been going through lately.

You see I have this place inside of me that constantly feels like there’s no one there to take care of me. Since I’m unmarried, without a boyfriend and my dad’s dead… Well I constantly feel like no one has my back at all.

Now, I always feel protected by God and the supernatural… But when it comes to feeling like someone cares about my emotional needs and thoughts, well I just feel unsupported.

And I know I’m supposed to gain all of this from Father God, but lately I’ve been really angry with Him about life… So then it’s hard to think that He really cares.

However, the other night some things that could’ve been a complete failure equated to success. And… Well… Honestly, the success had everything to do with God having my back. He was in my corner in a moment when I needed Him the most by making sure everything was seemingly seamless.

So now I find myself in this place…. A place that’s forcing me to admit that I’ve misperceived God and His love for me.

And… Well, I don’t want to do that anymore. I need better perception. 🌱🌷 #cultivatelife

The Best Way

On By AmandaIn Spirit, truthLeave a comment

About 7 years ago I was in college, working on something God had me put my entire self into. The idea He gave me seemed simple; however, I never realized how often I would think about the words He gave me to live by.

“Amanda, the journey you’re about to go on will be very challenging. You can move forward or backward, and you can walk away with what you’ve gained at anytime. However, the goal is to keep moving forward… You must keep moving forward so you can master this ancient way of life. It is the best way.”

In the moment He gave me this wisdom I thought, “This is going to be SO cool and SO much fun! Why would I ever want to quit and walk away? Why would I ever want to move backward?”

It’s funny though… Here I am 7 years later and I have so many moments when I want to just quit and walk away with everything God has given me. I want to take these precious stones of wisdom and just go live my own life. I mean… I’ve gained so much intangible wealth from Him… So do I really need to keep moving forward?!

But then I know the task He gave was to master the lifestyle so then I can give it away to others. Which is why I always stay on the path… I always keep moving forward because I haven’t reached the place where I can fully give what my heart desires to give.

And I don’t know if I’m making any sense; however, what I’m trying to say is this… Living a Spirit led life is the utmost challenging way of life. So many other lifestyles constantly pull at us on a daily basis, reminding us why we should or could stop following the Spirit. But then… Well if we do stop, well I believe our spirit will become stagnant and dull. I believe it will be overcome with soulish comments, questions and concerns. And most importantly, I believe we will begin to die. Maybe not a physical death, but a spiritual one for sure.

So please, be encouraged to always keep pursuing the Holy Spirit and His ways. 🌱🌷 #cultivatelife

Brave at Heart?

On By AmandaIn Confidence, SpiritLeave a comment

Life is wearisome and burdensome a lot of the time. I’ve come to believe it’s only truly embraced and fully lived by the brave at heart… Those who are constantly willing to lay down all that they have to grow, evolve and change… Those who will not sub-come to the pressures of normality, but will set the tone for new ways of a fuller life.

That’s where I constantly rest in life… Choosing to follow the Holy Spirit and pave this way so I may find more wholeness and freedom through Jesus Christ.

Am I tired of it? Yeah. Is it a constant battle and fight from within? Honestly, yes. It’s constantly a fight for me to let go of my ways of life so I can pursue God and life in a higher way.

However, if I don’t do it… If I don’t practice this lifestyle of laying down and picking up… Well how will I ever reach all that He needs me to be? How will the dreams, visions and realities of life He’s given me ever come to fruition if I don’t keep moving forward?

And I don’t know what version of God you place your faith in today. I don’t know the areas of life He has and hasn’t freed you of; however, I do believe that it’s important that we take a risk with the God that brings us every ounce of freedom and life that we deserve. I believe that it’s vital that we grow in the ways of the Spirit… Not in the ways of the church, religion, social standing or pop culture… But in the ways of the Spirit of God. 🌷🌱 #cultivatelife

Do You Feel It?

On By AmandaIn Spirit, truthLeave a comment

It’s getting really rough out there… Do you feel it? Can you sense it? Is your mind and spirit comprehending what’s happening, or are you still asleep, numb and dumbed down to it all?

I don’t know how any of us plan to move forward in life at this day and age if we don’t know how to overcome the war that’s constantly taking place in the supernatural. I don’t know how humans that believe in Christ plan to survive if we don’t constantly protect our minds, emotions, energy and space.

I can tell you this though… Over the past 8 months I’ve been learning how to rule and reign within my own head and heart. It isn’t easy. It’s very challenging. Millions of thoughts and questions probe at me daily seeking a home in my heart…. But I can’t let them in. I won’t let them in.

Because, you see, if I let them in then I begin to lose the power and authority given to me through Christ. I begin to become controlled by the world around me, rather than ruling and reigning over it like God intends for me to do.

So, if you can feel it… If you can sense the evil and darkness that’s replicating and invading the supernatural world… Then please, please be encouraged to command it to stand back. Please speak in the name of Jesus so that it cannot come any further and overtake you. And please, please ask the Holy Spirit to show you how to rule and reign as the child of God you’ve been created to be. 👑⚔️ #cultivatelife

Would You Risk It?

On By AmandaIn Spirit, truthLeave a comment

You know… As a girl raised in America I’ve had just about everything I could ever really need or ask for. I watched my parents struggle as they successfully created the business my father owned and operated. And then I sat back and wondered how we went from living in a very small house to a house bigger then we ever needed. It seemed as I got older we were just able to afford more and so we constantly did more. I mean that is the “American Dream” right?

However, when my father died life got really challenging for my family to manage. From my perspective, it seemed like God needed us to completely abandon this love, adoration and comfort we’d all attained for money and things so that we would focus on Him and Him alone.

Now I know what you’re thinking, “Oh Amanda, I know what loving money is and I don’t care for it that much.” The crazy thing is, most of us rely on and have faith in our jobs, bank accounts and savings accounts more than God.

You see I believe the majority of us live such a comfortable life. We have everything we truly need, but then we’ve bought a lie that we don’t have enough. We believe we’re doing something wrong so we consume more. It’s a constant vicious cycle that none of us are really brave enough to end because we’re all too afraid.

However, over the past five years I’ve learned (and continue to learn) that I only really need faith in God to live, survive and thrive. I don’t need all of these things society tells me I need. I am content with learning and growing and attaining spiritual wealth. I believe it’s what we’re truly designed for.

And I don’t know why I am sharing this. This area of my life is something I keep very private; however, if we really truly have faith in God… Then can we take the risk and cultivate a lifestyle based on our needs rather than our constant desire for what we want? 🌱🌷 #cultivatelife

Current Chapter

On By AmandaIn Spirit, truthLeave a comment

I don’t know where the excitement in my relationship with God has gone. I don’t know where the thrill of following Him went. It was there for years, but now I feel like it’s lost or something.

It’s just… Well our relationship seems to be somewhat stale. And while I talk to Him everyday and He talks back, I just feel like everything is so mundane and routine. And though He’s healed so much of my broken life and brought me through some very challenging seasons of life, well I just don’t understand where the thrill of pursuing Him went.

Sometimes I find myself really frustrated and angry with this too. I love Him so much and I don’t ever want to live life without Him, yet I’m struggling with where our relationship is headed next.

But I guess that means the relationship is real you know? It’s alive because it has highs and lows. I don’t always love the relationship I’m in with Him, but I do love Him.

So then how? How do I move forward? How do I continue to pursue a relationship that kind of feels routine and sometimes like it’s not enough? How do I stay focused on Him and not allow myself to turn and look at the very appealing world around me?… The world that is screaming for me to follow it.

These are the questions my heart constantly faces as I continue to follow. And I don’t have an answer for myself. And it’s tough to turn to others and glean their thoughts and opinions because my relationship with God isn’t the same as someone else’s. We are all on our own journey with Him in life.

However, at this point in my life I feel like I need to fight to stay in my relationship with Him. I need to fight to stand firm and secure. I don’t need to look around and become moved by the world that is constantly setting goals and sprinting past me. I need to walk and remain devoted to Him.

And I know what I’m saying sounds very much like a physical relationship, but it’s the truth. Just like God promises to never leave or forsake me in life, I need to do the same. I need to remain true and pure to Him and Him alone.

You see I believe when we get to these places in our relationship with Him… Places that seem boring and uneventful… We need to stay true. We don’t need to hobbies, Netflix, social media or any other thing to distract us from following. No, we need to keep our eyes focused on Him. We need to keep following, regardless of what we do or do not feel in the relationship. ♥️ #cultivatelife