dominion · heart · power · truth

Receiver

I walked 16.8 miles last Wednesday, June 2. At the top of my walk, I stumbled on a bed of pink peonies and my heart was immediately elated. I squealed with excitement and joy when I saw them because they are my favorite flower. Everything about them is absolutely lovely. And so, I decided to pick one… But then one didn’t seem like enough, so I picked four more. Of course, I knew I would be walking at least 14 miles, so it seemed silly to pick them. But I didn’t care. I wanted to carry them. I wanted to hold them close to my heart. They were a gift. A gift I knew Father God led me to in a moment when I needed it the most.

Now June 2 is unique to me because it’s the day my life changed forever… It’s the day I lost my dad, but it’s also the day I was thrust into a life of deeper intimacy with God.

You see I had to learn how to rely on Him more than ever before. I had to learn how to be a good receiver of His unconditional love and grace.

And though it was somewhat challenging at first, I’ve learned that it’s far greater to receive than to give. Yes, giving is vital; however, how can we give if we haven’t received from God first? I mean, isn’t the entire gospel a gift within itself for mankind? Something we could never actually afford, but must humbly and graciously receive.

And so, you see, my entire life and relationship with Father God is based around me being a good receiver of Christ first and foremost. Receiving the truth that my entire self: spirit, soul, heart and body was (and in some places still is) languishing, broken and dead until I receive/received the fullness of Christ on a trans-dimensional level. Receiving the truth that my human spirit is now alive, active and capable of kicking ass because she’s been given power, dominion and authority to rule and reign over the heavens and the earth. Receiving the truth that my entire being will forever be in a place of refinement, development, maturity and growth as I cultivate life with Holy Spirit leading me.

And you know, I love that. I love that God, in His absolute nature, is good. So good that He eternally gives just hoping we will eventually receive. 

Because, when we do… When we finally receive enough of Him to refine, restore and redeem all of our brokenness and death, then we can do like I did at the end of my 16.8-mile walk… I tossed my flowers into the Hudson River. I let go of them with the understanding that they had fulfilled their purpose, and now needed to be freely given for someone/something else to freely receive. 🌱

heart · Spirit · truth

Radiate

I sat down to write something encouraging and inspiring about how it’s been 12 years since I reached my goal of losing 100 pounds. But… As soon as I started typing, my spirit took over and said, “We are writing something else!” So here we go… 

God is good. Even when life is dark, decrepit and unbearably challenging to forge a path through, He is good. And I know it can be challenging to see His goodness. Especially when life is constantly caving in all around; however, that’s what’s so impressive about Him. In the midst of our fear, worry, doubt, heartache and trouble, He is there to offer up a strong shoulder to lean on. He is there to listen to the deepest cry of our heart that says, “I don’t know how much longer this is going to last! I can’t take it anymore.” 

And I’m speaking of God’s goodness because I’ve come into a place over the past few months where I find myself sitting in the stillness of His reverential presence, just meditating on that goodness. 

I just can’t get enough of it. He’s just there in such a heavy way that I feel Him resting on me.

And the heaviness… It’s different than being trapped in demonic entanglements, grids and frequencies. It’s different than the exhausting after-effect of dismantling structures the kingdom of darkness once empowered and occupied. 

Yeah, this weight… This weight is light… I feel like my spirit is floating in a blinding cloud-like substance that is very over-powering. It fills the very depth of my spirit, and brings a flow of living-water to the very heart of my root system.

And in this place of heaviness, I am constantly reminded of victories. I’m reminded of where I was when I was 5 with asthma, but then experienced healing. I’m reminded of where I was when I was 17, yearning to experience God in a more transformative way and then I did! I’m reminded of who I was when I was 20, fresh off the path of losing that weight, searching for confidence, only to have someone come a long and push me. And then I remember when I was 25, watching my dad dramatically take his last breath. Certain I’d survive, but how? How would I heal? How would my family and I pick up the pieces and move forward without feeling forever shattered and lost? But here we are today… The Winder Women, powered up with the joy of Holy Spirit.

Honestly, I could go on and on about the victories. About the in places in me that were languishing, dead and dying, only to be transformed by the power of Holy Spirit and His ability to lead me straight into a cultivated life.

So, now, where I am going with all of this? Well, if you feel lost, dead and alone on the inside, please be encouraged to know that God is good. Yes, the world’s systems are a failing and chaotically destructive, but God, His Kingdom, His presence, His ways… They are good. He is good. And so, it’s very helpful to lean into His goodness and His grace, even when you feel like your world is going to implode in seconds. Because, eventually, eventually (if our heart is open) He will come in and fill the brokenness and the void with love, peace and joy.

But then, some of you might know this. Some of you might’ve even experienced it. So, for those that have… Please be encouraged to keep pursuing His presence. Remain in the stillness of it. Meditate on His goodness, and continue to allow your trans-dimensional human spirit to interface with His presence that rests on Zion. Because, I believe, the more we spend time in His presence, meditating on His goodness, the more we will find ourselves endowed with the ability to radiate that very presence. And the more we radiate His presence, the more we can share… And the more we share, the more we will see signs and wonders, miracles, healings and deliverance take place. 

But… It all starts with our heart’s desire to focus on the the goodness of God and remain still in His presence. 🌱

power · Spirit · truth

Middle-Ground Movement

You know that place between the beginning and the end? Yeah! The middle! That place! That spot where you’re certain you’ve stepped out into a higher level of faith… A level that is extremely uncomfortable. And now… Now that you’re in the middle, you’ve actually become kind of comfortable because the initial shock of stepping out has worn off. However, you can clearly see that there’s a good distance to go before you reach the end of the season. And so, you feel somewhat agitated about the entire process because you know there’s no turning back… You must keep moving forward… You must blaze the trail as you persevere to the end.

Yeah… That’s me. That’s my current life scenario.

It’s just this serious series of persistent stretching. I feel stretched to capacity in every area of life right now. I feel like God keeps saying, “Amanda, look how far we’ve come together. Look at what we’ve accomplished in the intimate, isolated time we’ve spent cultivating life together. And I know the level of faith you’ve been asked to step out into every day feels steep and sometimes unbearable, but there is a purpose in all of it. So, you must keep moving forward. You must keep moving up that mountain. And you must stay focused on Me above all as you climb. And, even when you feel like you’ve ‘missed it,’ you must return to Me for the validation that you have in fact not missed it. So, keep going!”

And now some of you might be thinking, “Okay Amanda, why are you telling me this? Why are you sharing God and your inner growth with me AGAIN?” Well, because the relationship I’ve cultivated with Him is the realest, truest, most honest thing I know. And so, I want to encourage you to keep pursuing a deeply cultivated relationship with Holy Spirit. I want you to be inspired to turn to Him for solutions to all of your situations. I want you to look to Him as the source that works with Jesus to bring our ultimate freedom, deliverance and healing. 

And then others might be thinking, “Okay, I understand where you’re coming from because I feel Him pressuring me into more intimacy too, so how do you do it? How do you balance all of it without wanting to completely abandon ship?”

Well, honestly, I believe Holy Spirit is getting ready to move. I believe, in this supernatural, paradigm shifting era of time we’re all existing in, He’s getting ready to forcefully jump onto the scene. And because He’s preparing Himself, He must also prepare us for it. And so, He keeps asking us to climb a little higher with Him… To summit our own personal mountain of God and to remain faithful (spirit, soul, heart and body) to Him in the process.

And of course, it’s a challenge to faithfully summit. It’s a challenge to continuously step away from agendas, mindsets and lifestyles that have been controlling us so that we may see Him, His Kingdom and His truth in a raw, real and more perceptive way. And that’s the marrow of it all… That’s why I choose to keep going. Because when He moves… When He moves, He’s going to push those of us that have stepped out into the steepness of His presence into the light. He’s going to use us to communicate His Kingdom to the earth. 

And that… That inspires me so deeply at my core. It presses me to stay focused on where He’s leading because I want to work with Holy Spirit… And not against Him. I want to help Him reveal Jesus and the Kingdom in a very authentic, unifying and life-giving way. And because of that deep desire within me, I choose, in every moment, to keep my eyes focused on Him and the inner validation I am receiving about where I am headed in life. 🌱 #cultivatelife

heart · truth

Delighted

I cried myself to sleep last night. And there’s nothing wrong with me in the least bit. Really and truly, I am healthy and seeking more inner refinement, development, maturity and growth daily. All of my needs are being met. I have more than enough and I feel very satisfied with where God is leading me; however, at the very same time, I hear Him asking me to step out in more faith… To follow Him down the jagged path of uncertainty a little bit farther. 

And so, that’s where I find myself. My spirit, who is always eager to blaze a trail forward, says, “Let’s do this! Let’s walk forward! I am ready!!” But then my soul… my soul is definitely a dramatic whiner. I’ve definitely conditioned it to complain about the process of cultivation.

So they have this little duel which starts with me crying, but then ends with me thanking God for His goodness and His intricate way of working things out in me.

Now… You might be wondering what He’s asking of me, and while I do intend to tell you, first I want to remind you of something I shared a few months ago. The writing was entitled “The Vault,” and it focused on Holy Spirit removing a deep-seated lie inside of my heart. A lie I cultivated very, very, very well and then allowed to define me. 

Well, since digging up that deep-seated lie and planting truth on the grounds of my heart, I’ve felt significantly better; however, I still haven’t had the foggiest idea what “truth” was planted. He never really said. He just said, “Plant truth.” So, I picked up a bag marked “truth” and placed the seed in the ground of my heart.

Now it should come as no surprise that the seed is beginning to spring forth…. And I see it. Oh boy do I see it! So, what is it? It’s a truth that’s begging that I only delight in God. 

I hear it saying, “You aren’t here to impress anyone or anything but God. So, stop looking to the left and to the right for approval. Instead, keep your eyes focused on Him. Focus on the projects, businesses and ventures He’s assigned you to. Your life’s goal is to bring delight to Him in all you do. And, that delight, it needs to echo from the frequency of your heart. It needs to etch itself into the very fabric of your soul. It needs to become the very culture you communicate to the world around you.”

And so it will. 🌱 #cultivatelife

Spirit · truth

Instinctively Reverent

About two months ago I told God, “I want to understand what it means to have a reverent fear of You.” His initial response, “I am encoded in everything Amanda. Even Hell. Even Sheol and Hades. I am in every age, realm, dimension and timeline, past, present and future. I am stretched throughout all infinites and eternities. I am in it ALL. Embedded and encoded like DNA.” Then He said, “But… Just because I am encoded in everything, doesn’t mean that My presence is filling everything. Now, I can fill anything. My presence can fill Hell and Sheol.”

Now, when He said this my spirit, heart and soul were even more inquisitive. And so, I said, “Okay…. Show me an example of reverent fear then.” He said, “Remember your employer seven years ago? Remember the feeling you had when you met her for the first time?” 

Ohhhh well… Of course… Of course, I remember VERY well.

You see seven years ago, I went to work for a family with more wealth, fame and power than I’d ever encountered. Sure, I’d experienced my fair share of the three before; however, this… This was different. And its difference… It had a dominant feeling.

Now, my first encounter (really almost every encounter) with my boss left me somewhat shaken at my core. I remember instinctively feeling somewhat afraid of her. Not because she was scary, but because her very presence demanded a very, very high level of respect. It was evident that she expected nothing less than excellence in everything that went on in the culture of her home, her business and her lifestyle. 

And so, as her employee, I constantly felt like I should submit to the reality of what I felt. My desire to respect the environment of her household was very much something I wanted to succeed in daily. 

And… You know once I relived that chapter of my life, I could see it. I could see what God was communicating to me about reverent fear towards Him. I could see that He was saying, “The way you respected your previous boss and upheld the standard of her environment is very, very similar to the way you should respect Me and uphold the standard of My Kingdom.”

You see when we truly encounter Him in a raw, transparent and unfiltered way… When we truly become interfaced with His Kingdom through our covenant relationship with Jesus… When we truly begin to walk with Him and cultivate life… Then we can begin to experience the vastness of all that He has to offer. And when we begin to experience His vastness, it’s evidently clear that He possesses ENDLESS amounts of wealth, power and fame. It is clear that He possesses a standard of holiness that He asks us to live by.

And so… To reverentially fear Him is to truly experience Him…. To experience His Kingdom and feel overwhelmed by the majesty, splendor and glory of His presence.

And I don’t know about you, but I want to incessantly live from a place of reverence towards Him. I desire to respect the very culture of His Kingdom by upholding His standard of righteousness, justice and grace in all that I think, say and do. And sure, I won’t get it right every time (no one does); however, the beauty of it is, we can create an lifestyle that helps us cultivate the very nature of reverence. 🌱 #cultivatelife

power · Spirit · truth

The Standard

All week I’ve sat and pondered, “How can I become a more effective communicator of what Holy Spirit continues to reveal to me?” You see I want to encourage you to allow Holy Spirit to lead you down a path where the lame and manipulative layers of tradition and religion are stripped away, revealing a very real, very transparent and very powerful God. One that is no respecter of persons, but instead is very focused on communing with each and every single one of us on a moment-to-moment basis. 

And so, I want to ask, “Have you ever considered that maybe justice starts within each and every single one of us first and foremost?” 

And when I say justice, don’t look at the physical. Instead, challenge yourself to go deeper. Explore what you can’t see, but what governs the realms, dimensions, timelines and ages apart from this one.

Look at your spirit. Look at your heart. Look at your soul.

Now, while you’re looking, let me ask… Can each and every one of us confidently say that our trans-dimensional human spirits are activated and engaged, without being usurped by the soul? And, if so, are we operating from a place of wisdom and understanding… A place that doesn’t focus on engaging in divisive conversations, but where we can take our frustrations to the heavens to really learn and discern what’s happening? And, once we learn/discern, can we truly say we are spiritually strong and equipped enough to fight the unseen wars wagging in the spirit around us? 

And, if we are strong enough, can we confidently say, “I am growing with Holy Spirit every single day and allowing Him to bring life-giving solutions to my spirit, my heart and my soul so that those solutions may flow forward and produce healing and wholeness in my body and my world?” Can we say, “I see that God wants me to understand my world… That He wants me to come to Him so that He can heal me and free me of every sickness, disease and dark behavior… Even those brought down in my bloodline through generational iniquity?” Can we say (and this is a challenging one I’ve had to embrace), “Maybe the ‘god’ I hear from isn’t really God at all… Maybe it’s actually a religious spirit, masquerading itself as light and preventing me from seeing who Jesus truly is?” 

You see I believe true justice lies within the realm of the spirit first and foremost. Because, if we truly believe in Jesus, then we are to walk in the fullness of grace. And to walk in that fullness means we must align with the Kingdom of Heaven so that we may continuously stand before God and receive justice within our own lives.

We MUST come to a place where we walk free from iniquity, twistedness and perversion. Because if we cannot go before the Father and ask Him to deal with us internally, then how do we ever intend on truly governing earth? How do we ever intend on ruling & reigning with complete power, dominion & authority if we do not understand Heaven’s lingo? How do we ever intend on manifesting signs & wonders and miracles as we defeat the kingdom of darkness if we cannot even allow Jesus to administer His justice system in our own lives. 

So, you see, justice… It starts in us. It enters the gates of our hearts and changes the content of our internal culture. And then it sets a standard that encourages us to pursue true holiness. And that justice, it doesn’t ever relent. Instead, it continues to call us higher so that the only standard we live by is the Kingdom of God. 🌱 #cultivatelife

Confidence · heart · Spirit · truth

This is Who I Am

I sat down to pout. I sat down to sulk. I sat down to complain about how frustrated I felt. And then… All in one moment… I stopped myself. I stopped myself and said, “Amanda, you don’t do this anymore. You’ve outgrown this place where you get upset over things that are out of your control. You’ve moved past feeling overwhelmed with “the follow” and where He’s leading you. You no longer contain the capacity to roll your eyes and then sarcastically walk down a somewhat fearful, self-paved road screaming, “What’s next?!?!” You’ve reached a place of maturity and you MUST continually live in it!!!”

Yeah…. That was the inner dialogue between my spirit, heart and soul. My spirit reminding my heart and soul that we don’t sulk around anymore about where God is taking us. Instead, we suit up, take hold of His ever-evolving assignments and move forward like the Warrior Queen He’s been cultivating.

And I don’t know if this resonates with you at all; however, I’m learning that maturity is one of the most attractive virtues to possess because of its steadfastness. It’s just this grand assurance and unwavering confidence, rooted so deeply within that it billows out, “This is who I am!”

And sure, sure maturity seems as though it takes eons to cultivate; however, once we’ve entered that place… Once we’ve come into that promised land, well it’s as if the fruit is everlasting because we have the capacity to stop ourselves when parts of us want to act childish, self-centered or unruly. We can stop ourselves and say, “I’ve been down this road before and it doesn’t produce any good fruit, so I mustn’t go forward.” 🌱 #cultivatelife

authority · death · power · Spirit · truth

The Languishing Leviathan

It’s been a full decade since I was awakened to real, true evil and darkness…

As I leaned over the hospital bed to pray for my frail grandmother a thick, firm voice snapped back at me, “I raised you!” All in one moment it hit me, the voice coming from the bed wasn’t my grandmother’s. I could just tell by the strong and distinctly strange inflection in her tone and the dark, spine-chilling look in her typically piercing, crystal-blue eyes. Very quickly I responded, “You’re right. My grandmother raised me and YOU raised me too.” Then from the bed came a wicked laughter I’d never heard before and a very prideful response, “You’re right Amanda. I DID RAISE YOU.” I couldn’t believe my ears in that moment. For the first time in my life, I was awakened to the truth that I was spiritually staring back at some type of dark, demented and deeply twisted Leviathan who was bent on suppressing my life, my relationship with God and my purpose.

And, then to realize someone I idolized was entangled with something so dark and twisted. Gosh, it made my head spin and my heart hurt. And then to consider that “it” helped raise me… All I could do in that moment was begin to desperately cry from the depth of my spirit in hopes that my grandmother would be awakened to the truth too.

So, I left the hospital that day filled with a great deal of grief and confusion, yet I was clearly awakened to the reality that there was more going on in the supernatural realms of life. And, for the first time, I had personally experienced it. No one was sharing their experiences. The truth was right in front of me.

You see this specific experience began a long and some-what challenging journey I didn’t feel I was prepared to go on. Let’s just say I wanted to pretend that my family and I were completely free of the demonic because we believed in Christ, operated in authority and knew so much about the spirit realm; however, that was a terrible lie from the languishing Leviathan who helped secretly raise me.

Now, over time I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter how close we believe we are to God and His Kingdom or how much we think we know about Him because demonic influence can be present and fully operating in our lives. And, 100% of the time, the demonic is there without us even realizing it because generational iniquity is passed down in the supernatural and then given access to our lives.

So, what are we supposed to do? Well, if it weren’t for my expressed belief in Jesus, Leviathan would have continued to suppress my spiritual gifts and prevented me from flourishing and thriving on a spiritual plane of life. I mean he was definitely trying to. However, his opportunity was squashed the moment I realized I needed to fully exercise my authority purchased through Jesus. So, through a Holy Spirit led process I began to work with the Godhead to gain freedom and take back all that the demonic had stolen.

So now some of you might be thinking, “Does this mean someone that has a relationship with Jesus can also be suppressed and oppressed by the demonic? How is that possible when He’s around? Amanda, there’s no way. You’ve got to be kidding me!” And I’m here to tell you, with all that I have learned and experienced over the past decade, someone that has a relationship with Jesus can definitely have several relationships with demonic entities and not even realize it.

You see, if we aren’t accessing the fullness of Jesus and His power properly, then yes… Yes, we WILL walk under the influence of darkness, death and decay from the inside out because we are made: spirit, soul, heart and body. And, if we do not take responsibility of our spiritual lives by fully leaning into them and then allowing Jesus to free us from all of our spiritual entanglements (yes, even the generational ones), then yes, we will absolutely be entangled with the demonic.

And I’m not sharing this to stir anyone up or cause grief. I’m sharing this because I have spent an entire decade walking in more freedom, joy, love and life than I ever imagined was possible. Plus, my relationship with the Godhead and my connection to the supernatural is so much more powerful and stronger since I dropped my pride and fear and just allowed Holy Spirit to lead me into the fullness of the finished work of Jesus. 🌱 #cultivatelife

heart · Spirit · truth

The Vault

I was in the spirit yesterday morning, praying and talking to God like normal… All of a sudden I saw a large brownish/maroonish/whiteish marbled wall that spanned down a hallway. I didn’t know where I was, so I asked Holy Spirit. He said, “You’re in your Heavenly mansion, and I want to show you something that’s locked inside of the vault of your heart.” 

“Cool!!” I thought. “I wonder what this is all about.”

The next thing I knew I found myself in a very large home my dad built and my family lived in in the early 2000s. As I walked around throughout the house, memories of that season came rushing into my mind. Suddenly, I was overwhelmed with the past. The way it felt. The way it sounded. The way it smelt. All of it was actively present and alive in front of me. 

As I walked around I began to wonder, “Okay, what’s this all about? Why am I here? God, why did you bring me to my Heavenly mansion to unlock the vault of my heart? And what does this season of my life have to do with what’s hidden inside of the vault?”


Then, He very carefully began to explain Himself. He showed me a huge truth I’d kept hidden from myself… An area where I chose to believe a lie, and then never stopped believing it. And, although, I’ve known the truth for years, I’ve chosen to push it further and further away from me. He said, “Amanda, you’ve allowed this lie to define who you are in this moment, but it cannot define you anymore. I want you to let it go. I want you to repent and renounce for cultivating it within the grounds of your heart. And then, then I want you to pick up the truth, plant it on this refined ground and then walk away from here covered in My boldness, confidence, humility and security.”

And so… So that’s what I did. I repented for holding onto the lie for so long. I renounced any stronghold or demonic entanglement I might be caught up in because of it. And then… Then I planted the seed of truth on the grounds of my heart.

And I tell you this story because I hope it encourages you to continue to follow Holy Spirit into hidden parts of yourself so that He may inspect the depths of your heart. Because, even after years of life-giving cultivation, there are STILL areas of our lives He can and will dig up so that we can flourish. And, I know a lot of the time we don’t want to follow Him into the past because it requires reliving things that are uncomfortable; however, the powerful thing about moving forward with Him is the truth that we will thrive on the other side. 🌱 #cultivatelife

death · Spirit · truth

A Promise is A Promise

Six-and-a-half years ago my dad unexpectedly died. A month before he passed my parents had just celebrated their milestone 30th wedding anniversary. To celebrate, they planned to take a trip to Hawaii, but… Well obviously, that didn’t happen.

Last week my mom turned 60-years-old. So, in true Winder Sister form and fashion, Bridget and I decided to honor my parents plans by taking her to Hawaii to celebrate.

Now if I’m honest, I was excited the entire time! However, as we zipped up, down and around the island for the week, I never really thought about Dad much. I never truly let myself experience the weight of what it means to honor my parents by fulfilling a promise that was made within the covenant of their marriage.

And so, it wasn’t until we were actually headed to the airport that the heaviness of it all began to hit me. 

You see… Sickness, disease and death sought to destroy the Winder Women by completely robbing us of life and dragging us down a long and sometimes dark path of brokenness, heartache and pain. However, that’s what’s so magnificent about restoration! It’s this beautiful, systematic process where God promises too deeply and divinely heal us from the darkness that has torn us apart: spirit, soul, heart and body.

And… Somewhere along the way, the healing becomes a fulfilled process in certain areas… And you’re able to look at the life (like we have with this trip) and confidently say, “Yeah, dad’s not here… Yes, life has been an emotional, painful, uncertain climb we sometimes didn’t believe we’d make it through; however, we are holding God to His promises. And His promises say, “He WILL vindicate us and bring life to every place the kingdom of darkness has stolen.” His promises say, “He WILL redeem, restore and then supply us with endless joy!” His promises say, “He WILL cultivate the grounds of our brokenness so that they can be made whole, and then we can walk in the maturity of His confidence, security and love.”

And so you see… It is completely healthy to walk through fire and then emerge refined, restored and redeemed. It’s completely healthy to emerge without an ounce of bitterness, anger, hate, heartache and insecurity. It’s completely healthy to emerge more equipped with a heavier, holier suit of armor than when you walked in. 

Because when you do… When you actually surrender your pain, heartache and brokenness to God, then He can come in with His great love and swallow up what the kingdom of darkness has stolen. And then… Then you can move forward to the other side with a healthy, whole and aligned spirit, soul, heart and body. And that side… That realm… That promised land is overflowing with an increase of LIFE…. Life that is beaming and vibrating with a higher frequency of honor, respect, love and gratitude towards God than you ever imagined possible. And it perpetually echos out, “A promise is a promise!” 🌱 #cultivatelife #winderwomen