Being honest with myself is a treasure... Sometimes I fear that I'm not honest enough... That I hide things from myself in order to protect me from reality... Other times I think I'm too honest with myself... Too hard on me... Too real with the person that I am... And not focused enough on the… Continue reading The Woman I Want to Be….
Category: vulnerability
Being Human…
Why are we considered human once we've gone through tragedy?... What does it make us realer?... More reachable and accepting.... I've been thinking about that for the last 24 hours... And I continue to think about the amount of compassion and understanding that follows a tragedy... Once we've been affected in a certain way.... Well… Continue reading Being Human…
Just Tears and Love…
Sometimes pain isn’t evident until you have something to provoke it…. You feel fine and life is just moving along… And then something reminds you that there’s still a gap in your life… And that life became so much realer… So much more authentic and true with death... And there’s nothing you can do but… Continue reading Just Tears and Love…
Food for Thought
I think it’s time to talk about some of the things I feel ashamed for… The things that make me human… The things that I believe in my mind will disappear one day but never seem too… The fact that I’ve allowed food to be an enemy and a friend… The fact that it never should’ve been… Continue reading Food for Thought
The Memory Tree
Since I was around the age of 15 I've complained about one thing... I didn't think we had any family holiday traditions.... I'd look around at other families during the holidays... I'd see their festiveness and annual excitement and I'd think "gosh, I wish my family had some tradition".... So as I got older I'd… Continue reading The Memory Tree
Right Where I am…
do you ever wonder what the next stop is?… what the next little growing season will be in between reaching a goal?… sometimes i wonder this god… sometimes i wonder if i am doing everything i should be doing to the best of my ability... i look to my right and see a pile of… Continue reading Right Where I am…
Grateful for the Pain
Now I'm not gonna lie and say being home is a breeze.... It's painful and there are certainly tears... But if I could really describe this time... Well I would say painfully full... Painful because dads not here... But full because I'm surrounded by people that love me and I love them in return... And… Continue reading Grateful for the Pain
The Holidays are Coming…
It's an overwhelming thought to think.... the one that includes my mom having to sort through her life.... Knowing that she shouldn't have to do this.... knowing that if dad were alive this wouldn't be happening.... knowing that life changed so quickly 6 months ago.... And ever since dad's been gone... well... everything has changed...… Continue reading The Holidays are Coming…
Death Lessons
Death keeps teaching me so many lessons.... I wonder if it is one of the greatest teachers... There are so many facets to it... The absence of a loved one... The heartache and knowledge that they're never coming back... ever... And then there's the people who come in and try to fill the gaps... The… Continue reading Death Lessons
We Just Do Life
And then there were three.... Three of us remain... and we are supposed to be a family of four... but that's not how life turned out... and it's still hard.... and it's still challenging... and it's still emotional... I've heard my mom tell a lot of stories... but this weekend is the first time I… Continue reading We Just Do Life