What A Wonderful Life

This is my grandmother. You know she was healed in 1975 of a rare bone condition. Yep… On her death bed, in a neck brace and body cast for 19 1/2 years, didn’t have feeling in more than half of her body BUT the power of God’s Holy Spirit transformed her in a single moment.

I miss her. I miss her a lot.

You know… After she was healed, Holy Spirit led she and my grandfather into full-time ministry. She would lay hands on the sick and they were made well through Jesus. She would speak to darkness, demons and things that scare the majority of us and they would flee. People began to live freer, fuller lives after experiencing the power of Holy Spirit inside of her.

You know… If you google “Delores Winder” you probably won’t find much more than a few videos of a tiny woman, with white hair, blue eyes that pierce your soul and a voice that sounds so strange yet captivating.

I always wanted to be just like her. Not the physical attributes… The spiritual ones.

You know… We butted heads a lot. Especially when I’d take the things she taught me and advance them for today’s culture. I always saw the world a little bit different. I always saw so much capacity for restoration, transformation and cultivation on a world-scale.

But gosh… To follow Him like she did… With so much ease that God was “taking care of things.” To have the faith that He would keep providing more than enough because that’s who He is and has always been. To just stay in the present moment and be like Jesus. Those… Those are still goals.

And maybe… Maybe I’m more like her than I even realize; however, I do believe the way she chose to live is one of the main reasons I keep choosing to live like this. To be constantly full of God’s presence, of love, of joy, of peace and of prosperity…. What a wonderful life! 🌱 #cultivatelife #justlive

Mom-Mom…

img121Not knowing yesterday morning what was in store, I ended my journal entry with the statement that He is “always good”… Fitting for someone who used that line as an honest pillar in her life…

Right now… Now is the time I could easily say, “I don’t know what I’ll do without her”… But that’s not true at all…

Because many, if not most, will miss Delores Winder… The prayer warrior… The one who could heal with the power of God… The one who helped change people’s lives… The one with a powerful, powerful story and testament of true, authentic healing… The one with so much wisdom and love…

But, well… I’ll just miss Mom-Mom… The woman who was my grandmother… The woman no one saw but her family and close, close friends… The one who taught me how to bake, write letters to people and always took the time each year to take my sister and I on vacation with our grandfather… “One day all you’ll have left are these memories of us together,” she would constantly say…

I’m going to miss Mom-Mom like crazy… She was one of the only people that drove me absolutely insane at times, but I still loved her like no one else…

We were so much a like… Bossy, controlling, know-it alls… We both needed to have the “right” answer all the time… Haha!…

She would say, I pushed her buttons a lot… Because if she didn’t have the answer, and I knew deep down there was another way or a better way, well we would argue about it… And I would go on a quest to find it… At first this was a struggle… Me wanting more truth than I’d been given, her telling me that was it… Me believing there was more, discovering the more and then giving it to her…

After a while, well she finally just wanted to know what I’d learned… So we could talk about it together…

So to say I will miss the wisdom God gave her, the way she prayed and the things she taught would be untrue… Because Mom-Mom spent her time pouring every ounce of what she had into mine and my sister’s very beings… She knew that one day she would be gone and we would need it all… To teach others… To love others… To help direct people towards the Holy Spirit and His inner healing…

And so I believe that’s what makes this year so significant for me yet again…

Since entering the nursing home in January, I’ve really had no contact with her… And as pieces of my identity, security and confidence have been shaken from me, well the best choice I’ve found is to just follow God’s lead… Even when I can’t see… And though it’s truly been a shaky year, I believe she would be happy to know that her death hasn’t shaken me at all…

Yes, yes I am very, very sad… But I’m not broken or broken-hearted… More than anything, I feel firmer than ever…

And so I guess, well… I just want to tell her thank you… From the bottom of my very heart, thank you for loving me the way no one has ever loved me before… Thank you for believing in me and what God has given me to do in life… Thank you for teaching me how good God actually is… Thank you for the ups and downs in our relationship, they truly shaped me… Thank you for being my best friend…

And more than anything, thank you for showing me that life cannot be lived to it’s fullest without being healthy and whole from the inside out… That our spirit, soul and body have to be in alignment with Him… And that inner healing, well to me is just another way to say, “it’s time to cultivate life”…

Walking with Healing…

The environment I grew up in was one where healing was a common thing…. Probably from the age of two, I was taught that healing is real… And that it’s meant for our world…

Because of my grandmother’s story, I was encouraged to learn all that I could from her about the power of healing…

And over the years I’ve seen lives transformed externally as well as internally…

Well… Three weeks ago I hurt my foot… Unsure of how it happened, I ran on it for 3 days anyway (I am very hardheaded)… Of course the pain was there… And it increased every time I put pressure on it… But I just kept hoping it would go away… Thinking, “oh this won’t last forever”…

By the third day, wearing heels wasn’t even an option… So I settled for sandals and went to church…

Before church even started I heard God start in on me, “Tonight Amanda. I need you to do this tonight”… And by the tone in His voice, I could already tell it wasn’t something I particularly wanted to do…

As the service went on, I knew what He needed and I argued with Him… Back and forth we went over it all… I finally came to a place in my heart and said, “Ok, God… If this is what you want, then you give me your peace and boldness to do it”…

By the end of the service, I decided, “Well, I guess I’ll do it”… So I got up, walked over to the person and spoke exactly what the Holy Spirit put on my heart for the man…

Like that it was done… No more words were spoken, just an in and out type of job…

On the walk back to the car, Bridge and I discussed how happy we were that I finally did this (God put it on my heart 9 months ago)… So I was just happy it was over…

As I sat down in the car, I stretched out my legs and realized… My foot, the pain… It was gone… I rolled my foot around, searching for pain… But nothing was there…

Just a perfectly healthy foot… That ironically was made well, 41 years to the night my grandmother went searching for an answer for my father… But then found herself miraculously healed…

Of course Bridge and I laughed about it all… Especially the irony…

But really, in truth… Well I realized so much that night…

Most importantly, somewhere in the midst of that hour and a half, I let go of a piece of myself… I set my own goals aside for a moment and just followed through with God’s… My thoughts that are always focused on my agenda were laid to the side long enough for me to actually deliver a message for God…

And, in response, my foot was healthy and whole again… Like nothing ever happened before…

And I guess this moment inspires me… Because it’s caused me to look inside of myself and wonder, “Why is my selfish agenda so important?… Why do I constantly need to fulfill what I want?… And how can I create and live a lifestyle that is about fulfilling what God needs?… Also, how can what God needs become what I need too?”…

Under the Tent…

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I was raised under a tent… A tent that brings life… A tent that brings comfort… A tent that showed me who my best friend would be for the rest of my life and how he would never leave me… And I would never leave him…

The tent I am referring to is one that contained and still contains the spirit of the most high God…

As children, we don’t always necessarily understand the environment we’re raised in… Because, to us… Well it’s all we know…

And for years I listened… I watched… I knew the Spirit of God was a he and not an it… For to call him an it means “you don’t know him”….

And then there were the years… Few… But impactful… That I spited and loathed the environment that poured and produced religion in my life and the lives of others…

But as all should, I’ve matured… And now I stand at a place where I feel overwhelmingly grateful for the tent I was raised in… Because… Again… It’s all my foundation knows it needs to make it firm and complete…

And now… Now more than ever… I feel encouraged to share what I learned under this tent…

It taught me that it’s not Jesus that lives in my heart… It’s the Spirit of God…. He’s the one that dwells inside of me… That speaks to me… That gives me power to pair with the authority given through the blood of Jesus…

And he’s so tired… Irritated because he’s been forgotten… Frustrated because he’s been mistaken and overlooked… Because it’s his will to lead and direct us in life… Not Jesus and not God… But the Holy Spirit…

So why?… Why do we choose to overlook him so?… Why can’t we simply put down our religion and listen?… Listen to what he gives us everyday…. Because he… He is as real as anything I’ve ever known… And he’s never steered me wrong… Even when I think “this was a mistake”… He’s always been there saying “just trust me”…

So… Today… I hope… I hope all begin to recognize him in his fullness… For he is about to be unleashed from the tent I was raised in… And he’s about to show himself in a powerful way…

And as all best friends should do… I feel grateful and blessed enough to encourage and help him make his works a reality…