challenge · focus · freedom · healing · satisfied

Satisfied?

Last week I shared how vital it’s been for me to “capacitate in life.

But… You know… I was kind of vague when speaking about capacity because I didn’t really delve into the areas inside of me that are being pressed to the limit.

So here we go…

Being specific about where I’m growing with God right now seems slightly chaotic. I mean… He is stretching me in so many different areas. However, the place that feels most pressing to share with you is an area I am aiming to master.

You see it’s a challenge for me to be satisfied with the things of God.

And, because I feel challenged in this area, I’ve asked Him to help me. Which usually entails a breakdown… I need some understanding and application from Him about HOW I am to be satisfied with Him and only Him.

And guess what He told me?… He said, “Amanda, I just need your entire focus. I give you what you need daily. Every Single Day I provide you with what you need to live in peace and harmony, but you choose… You choose to allow your heart and soul to gaze on other things. To become consumed with things that have nothing to truly do with where I am leading you. And so, you struggle in your heart and soul. You flip back and forth. Questioning me. And why? I have given you what you need. You have leaned into your inheritance in Me and I have provided for you. So why… Why are you looking at things that are less than what I’ve given you?”

Now I know what you might be thinking… “Well He really told you.” And, you’re right… He did. He does. That’s how my relationship with Him is. He’s the father and friend that drops the hammer and pushes me back into line so I can develop, mature and grow properly.

He’s the one that says, “Umm, I’ve healed you from the inside out and set you free of demons, darkness, death and decay. I’ve refined you and matured you. I’ve opened up entire realms and dimensions of life for you as you’ve pursued Me and My ways. So why… Why do you allow yourself to become focused on material, insignificant matters of life? Why don’t you keep yourself: spirit, soul, heart and body directly focused on Me and My Kingdom? Because when you do, you will continue to find yourself satisfied with all that you’ll ever need in life.”

And He’s right. He’s 100% honest in what He’s saying. And I can’t think of an excuse that’s good enough to object Him.

And, because I can’t find anything worthy enough to object Him, I have to also accept the rest of what He’s said. Which is, “Amanda, you are acutely aware of the nonsense that plays out in society. You see how your culture buys into every selfish want and desire, in an aim to fulfill their souls inward need to feel like they are achieving ‘life.’ But that satisfaction of ‘life’ can only really truly be found within Me and my Kingdom. You must keep choosing it. Time and time again.”

And so I will. I am. I am making a conscious effort to keep my soul quiet as my spirit aims to expand and focus intently on where He’s leading. And I hope, I truly hope you will also become fully satisfied in Him. That you will see life through the eyes of your spirit, and really delve into all that there is to be satisfied with. 🌱 ♥️ #cultivatelife

 

 

soul · Spirit

Destiny…

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Some say “get up and chase your destiny everyday”…

Others say, ” destiny will come to you”…

I believe both are true…

That we have to be doing both… Living life in search of more.. Craving more… Wanting more… Doing more… And… As we do it… Through all the questioning, wandering, curiosity, hoping and praying… Well… We soon find or meet up with destiny… With what is the best choice for our life and lifestyle…

And don’t get me wrong… It takes work… Lots and of effort… Focused effort… And the ability to successfully know self and conquer the inner self… But once it has been done… Once we can properly manage this thing called life that we’ve all been given… Well then I believe we can unite with destiny….

Because through it all… All of the work.. All of the struggle… All of the tears and turmoil and laughs… Well we can spring forward… Because we choose to move forward even when we didn’t want too..

And in the midst… Well we find our destiny… we meet up with it… And we begin to realize there is the fascinating destination that continues to evolve as we reach it…

So now… Now as I feel my life shifting… I confidently know the work has been done… But I am still a little curious about the destiny I am coming into contact with,,, Because for so long… Basically my entire life… Well I’ve done things that I loved without realizing that they are actually key parts of me…

And now more than ever… Well I need to use the advice wisdom has given me… I need to let go of any fear I currently fear and step boldly and confidently… With extreme amount of courage and humility into what I have been given so graciously…

And once again… Well this thing called destiny has led me to fear of the unknown… But embracing that fear and allowing it to be what is here and now…

Because if I can’t do that… Well then I can’t meet up with my destiny and continue to just live…

Body · heart · soul · vulnerability

The Woman I Want to Be….

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Being honest with myself is a treasure… Sometimes I fear that I’m not honest enough… That I hide things from myself in order to protect me from reality…

Other times I think I’m too honest with myself… Too hard on me… Too real with the person that I am… And not focused enough on the person that I’ve become through the process of life…

But lately I’ve had these thoughts… And that’s what they are right now… Just thoughts… Thoughts about the woman I want to be…

But the way I’ve chosen to think this over doesn’t involve criticism… It more involves curiosity and hope…

Because as I see myself getting older… Growing up more and more… I have to admit… I’m not some college aged kid anymore… But I don’t feel like an adult either… Sure I do adult things like working a full-time, nonstop job, paying bills and constantly cleaning house… But I still don’t feel like an adult…

And I’m not sure what point in life decides that we are adults… Maybe when I’m thirty I’ll realize that I’m finally an adult… But today… Today in this moment… Well I am searching some for the woman I want to be…

So in all honesty… As I look at women I admire… Well I see them as very strong, spiritual backbones and pillars of their homes… And I don’t mean the churchy, preachy, scripture reading woman I grew up around… I mean legit women who aren’t all that afraid of anything… Women that are vulnerable and honest… That have experience to draw from… And that are full of wisdom… Not knowledge and understanding…

Because one day I hope to be able to provide my family and children with practical advice that works and that can make their lives easier to manage and sail through…

It’s funny to think how my life has evolved and come to this point… Because through the decisions I’ve made it’s at a place where it could and can go absolutely anywhere…

And I don’t know where it will go… Where I might end up next… But I do see my next direction…. And it’s simply based upon the woman that I want to become… The woman that I want to grow into… The truth of myself that I want to leave behind in the lives of others…

And for me… Right now… Well I think it’s exactly where I need to be….