glory · goodness of god · kingdom · Manifestation · stillness

Summer of Stillness

If you followed my writings over the past summer, then you know I shared about stillness and the glory of God a lot. At one point, I mentioned that Holy Spirit said, “How are people going to know that I am truly with you, if you won’t let My stillness rest upon you? It’s okay to be still. It’s okay to not have any movement going on in you. That doesn’t mean things aren’t moving. Instead, it means you’re cultivating a space to carry the weight of My glory, which you’ve never truly carried before. And sure, sure it’s cumbersome. Sure, being still is not your favorite thing because you want to be doing, but I have called you to a life of stillness: spirit, soul, heart and body right now. A life of stillness that mediates on My goodness constantly.”

And so, when I wasn’t working, you could find me sitting in silence without any distractions (phone, TV, computer), commanding my soul to step back and inviting my spirit to come forward so I could engage with the stillness. And, in those moments of stillness, my mind was mostly quiet. I didn’t hear Holy Spirit speaking too often, but I did feel a very significant amount of His presence and glory growing and surrounding me as I mediated on His goodness.

Below are three stories (from the summer) that demonstrate the growing manifestation of His presence.

The Smoke

On June 17, at 2 am I woke up to the smell of thick, thick smoke. The smell was so strong that I was convinced something was on fire. I woke my sister (who is usually awake at 2am) up. She could smell it too. We both firmly agreed something was on fire. So, we hurried towards the windows in back of the apartment. Bridget said, “I don’t smell anything outside of the windows. It’s not coming from over here.” Then she turned on the lights and the room looked kind of hazy, like smoke was definitely in the room. Next, she checked the radiator pipes that run through the apartment for the heat in winter. Again, nothing. I checked the windows in my room. Nothing. We checked the hallway. Nothing. So, it was evident that the smoky smell and haze was isolated to our apartment unit only.

We both kind of laughed about it and confidently decided to go back to sleep. Convinced it was occurring within the spirit realm surrounding us. 

When I woke up the next morning, I consulted Holy Spirit. He led me to Isaiah 4:5. It says, “Then the Lord will create over all of Mount Zion and over those who assemble there a cloud of smoke by day and a glow of flaming fire by night; over everything the glory will be a canopy.” Again, I kind of laughed because both of our spirits knew that’s what we had experienced. But, before I could confirm for sure, I called my mom. I told her the story and she said, “You know Amanda, last night I had a dream y’all were in a fire in NYC, but you were okay. When I woke up, I felt a little panicked, but I knew y’all were fine.” 

Why did God reveal Himself to us like this? I still don’t have all of the answers; however, I am confident that we were so confident in the manifested demonstration of His presence that we went back to sleep without a worry or a doubt.

The Tears

During the month of June, my sister was working on a painting of her spirit. She said, “Amanda, there’s water on the floor in front of the painting, but I don’t have a clue where it came from.” I walked over to the painting, and, sure enough, there were several droplets on the floor that resembled tears. We both backtracked the past hour and decided there was no way either one of us was responsible for the water. So again, we knew they manifested from the spirit realm surrounding us. But why? 

Over the next few days, the Father made it clear that He was very overwhelmed with what my sister was bringing to life. It moved Him to tears to see that she was so interested in putting paint to canvas to watch the truth surrounding her spirit come to life.

The Diamond

In mid-July, I had been sitting on the living room couch all day working on my computer. After several hours, I got up and went to my room to sit with Holy Spirit and focus in on being still. After I had been sitting for a while, my sister rushed in my room to tell me Britney Spears was testifying in court and we could listen to the stream on Twitter. So, we both sat on the end of my bed and listened. When it was over, we both gleefully left my room (research the case if you want to know why) and went back to the living room. She sat down on the couch where I had been sitting all day and said, “Amanda, what is this?” In her hand she was holding what looked like a tiny rhinestone. She said, “Did this fall off of a piece of clothing?” We both thought through all of the clothing we own and decided it didn’t. Then she said, “Actually, I don’t think it’s a rhinestone. I think it’s a diamond!” So, she rushed over to her phone and pulled up a YouTube video to verify a diamond. The video said we needed to drop it in a glass of water. If it sank, it was surely a diamond. So, she filled up a clear glass, took it into the bathroom and I dropped the tiny stone into the water. Sure enough, the diamond went straight to the bottom. 

Then we checked every piece of jewelry. Nothing missing. We asked our friends that had been over. They weren’t missing anything. We asked my mom. She wasn’t missing anything. So, again, we laughed. Surely, this did not fall from the spirit realm surrounding us? Or did it? And if so, what was God’s plan for it? To show that the very presence of Heaven is surrounding us at all times? To encourage us to keep engaging Heaven? To demonstrate the realness of the realm of Heaven, that often feels like a caricature of sorts?

And while I don’t have too many answers, I am sure of this… Engagement with our human spirit, paired with stillness and meditation on the goodness of God can bring about some very unique manifested experiences. And while we haven’t stumbled upon another diamond yet, we have had many more experiences with hazy smoke and tears. They just seem to appear in places where we’ve been mediating on the goodness of God, while paving a road for angelic assistance and operating in the gifts, purposes and trading routes Holy Spirit is constantly laying before us.

So if you’re reading this, I want to encourage you to take the time to cultivate a relationship with your human spirit, Holy Spirit and stillness. Take many undistracted moments (moments without technology) to just mediate on areas of your life where you know He provided for, protected, healed, delivered, connected with and loved you. And then see where that takes you. Look around for the growth of His manifested presence within your life. I promise you, you won’t just feel it, you may just see it too! And the best part is, mediating on the goodness of God will become a part of your lifestyle and you will consistently see His glory revealed. 🌱

Spirit

Searching for the Diamond…

Several nights ago I had a dream… In the dream I slid face first down a giant slide… On the way down, my diamond necklace got caught in a crack on the slide… When I reached the bottom, I discovered my diamond was missing… Only the chain and backing that held the diamond remained… And so… I searched frantically for the diamond…

Of course… After a moment of sheer panic I found it… It was super easy to find too… Right underneath the slide I just came flying down…

But that moment in the middle… That moment where I choose “emergency panic mode”… Well in that moment… I was full of fear… And the fear told me, “This is going to be so difficult to find.. That diamond is so precious to you… How will you ever find it?…”

But then… Well once I found it… Everyone in the dream kind of laughed at me for making such a big deal out of nothing… That it was so simple to just “find” it…

And… In this moment… Well this is where my life seems to be…

I feel like over the course of the last few months I’ve taken a ride down a slide… And now I am at the bottom of the slide… Realizing something of value is missing… That I had it before… But somehow it got caught between the cracks in life…

And now… Well… Just like in the dream I am frantically searching for it… With a mindset that says, “This is so difficult… How will I ever find it?”…

And the thing… The diamond I seem to be searching for is the love of God… My relationship with God the Father… The one who is full of just grace and love…

And this moment feels altogether awful… Because my mind has made it so difficult to find Him and His love…

But… Like in the dream… Well I’m realizing that I won’t find what I am looking for when I am full of fear… Instead… Well I need to make a choice… I need to choose peace… And I need to realize panicking never really helps anything…  It really just clutters the mind…

But… Real, high-quality love… The type that I am searching for… Well it’s found in a peaceful place…

And though my mind is telling me a million negative things right now… Mostly lies about myself… Well I am sure that this… This love that I am searching for will tell me billions, if not trillions, of positive things…

Because that’s who Father God is… His real, authentic love says, “I’ll always be here for you when you need me… I’ll always be a father to you through it all… I’ll forgive you when it seems unforgivable… And I’ll even forget what you did in the past… Plus, I’ve placed so much potential inside of you and I am so eager to see it come out”

And though my mind wants to tell me differently… I believe simply accepting His love… Well it’s enough…

It’s enough to stop panicking, see the diamond on the floor and to then pick it up and take it as my own again…

 

Spirit

Diamond Moment of Trust…

I have a set of gold drop diamond Kate Spade earrings…. Wearing them and talking on the phone while driving never go hand in hand for me… They clank into the glass and drive me insane….

So…. I always take one off…. And I usually set it in my lap…. Thinking I’ll remember it’s there by the time I get home…

But I always forget…. And the LA hike to and from the car is too much to go “make sure” the earring is on my seat… So I always… Well I always cheat…. I ask God if it’s there… Or if, by some chance, it’s fallen on the ground…. Waiting to get stepped on or stolen…  Meaning I need to go back and get the damn thing…. It’s not a real diamond…

And every time He tells me it’s on the seat of my car… So I rest easy… Sure to see it the next morning…

This entire scenario happened 4 days ago….

But a day before that… Well I had a “I’m 26. Not in a relationship. Not married. No kids. Meltdown.”…. It was one of those “where’s my life taking me moments”…. And I was just too much….

But as I laid my head down to sleep… Well God told me to keep moving forward… That he’s got my back and I don’t need to panic at all… Because as I trust what I’m doing… Well I should trust him for the things that I want most in life… They are becoming a reality before my eyes… I just don’t see them yet…

After that convo… Well the incident with the earring happened… And in that moment I trusted that the earring was safe and sound… Waiting… Just like he said…

And of course it was there…

But in that moment I felt God basically laugh… In a way that showed me he was teaching me something yet again…. And I ignored that he wanted be to learn something… Hurrying to call everyone I could think of before I got to work… No one answered…. I finally said “ok God… What are you trying to show me?”….

And then I saw it…. The earring scenario…. Something so valuable to me…. I love jewelry… Well… I trusted exactly what he said… I didn’t panic… I rested all night long…

But then something equally as important and valuable to me… My future… Well I didn’t trust what he said… I panicked… I panicked hard core….

But there was no reason for me to panic at all… Because he was being honest with the earring and my future…

And I guess I say all of this to remind myself… To remind myself today…. That God is watching me… He’s taking care of me… He’s still my best friend… And now he’s my dad… And he’s willing to give me the answers to what I need when he knows I need them… And if I’ll just continue to chill… If I’ll just continue to live everyday to the fullest and not panic… Well my future… What I want will become a reality….

And I’m ok with that….