heart

Sit Still

Very few people know this about me, but something I’ve practiced for years is the skill of sitting in the stillness of God’s presence. Usually, I sit for an hour every morning and just listen and converse while I pray; however, lately the amount of time I’ve been spending with Him has increased. I find myself sitting still for 2 hours in the morning and then other sporadic moments throughout the day. 

And the goodness of God keeps swelling up in me in these moments! It swells in me, consumes my heart and then is heard from the overflow of my lips.

Yesterday morning while I sat, I heard Him say, “I want to supply you with something I’ve been housing in a storehouse.” Then I watched as He led me to a boarded-up shack in the middle of a backyard. And I watched as the wind of His presence tore the boards off of the doors. Once the boards came off, the doors flung open very quickly and this gold-colored flow of energy in the shape of a long scarf came rushing out. I watched as it beautifully moved towards me, swirled around my entire being in a playful-like way and then rested on my shoulders like a tallit. Once it rested, it just sat there… Swaying back and forth with a very, very strong sentience.  

I asked God, “Why was such a beautiful thing being stored in a boarded-up shack?!” He said, “Because you had to truly seek me in the stillness of my presence until you found it. I placed such a treasure in a place that looked undesirable, but now… Now that you’ve come into a deeper place of understanding and self-control, it’s yours to carry. It’s yours to move throughout life with, but it’s only truly activated with the power of my presence when your heart remains in alignment with my eternal goodness.”

Now, if I’m honest, I felt so overwhelmed that I just sat there and cried. It was just such a beautiful moment, full of life and genuine spontaneity. 

And I’m sharing this with you because it complements the direction Holy Spirit is leading those who are whole-heartily following Him. You see this intense direction is pleading with us to follow the path of maturity with our entire selves: spirit, soul, heart and body. And yes, yes it is rough and somewhat unpaved; however, we won’t be able to continually bear His light and the weight of His glory if we don’t keep moving forward on the path.

So, as challenging as it might be, I want to encourage you to sit still. 🌱

heart · Spirit · truth

Radiate

I sat down to write something encouraging and inspiring about how it’s been 12 years since I reached my goal of losing 100 pounds. But… As soon as I started typing, my spirit took over and said, “We are writing something else!” So here we go… 

God is good. Even when life is dark, decrepit and unbearably challenging to forge a path through, He is good. And I know it can be challenging to see His goodness. Especially when life is constantly caving in all around; however, that’s what’s so impressive about Him. In the midst of our fear, worry, doubt, heartache and trouble, He is there to offer up a strong shoulder to lean on. He is there to listen to the deepest cry of our heart that says, “I don’t know how much longer this is going to last! I can’t take it anymore.” 

And I’m speaking of God’s goodness because I’ve come into a place over the past few months where I find myself sitting in the stillness of His reverential presence, just meditating on that goodness. 

I just can’t get enough of it. He’s just there in such a heavy way that I feel Him resting on me.

And the heaviness… It’s different than being trapped in demonic entanglements, grids and frequencies. It’s different than the exhausting after-effect of dismantling structures the kingdom of darkness once empowered and occupied. 

Yeah, this weight… This weight is light… I feel like my spirit is floating in a blinding cloud-like substance that is very over-powering. It fills the very depth of my spirit, and brings a flow of living-water to the very heart of my root system.

And in this place of heaviness, I am constantly reminded of victories. I’m reminded of where I was when I was 5 with asthma, but then experienced healing. I’m reminded of where I was when I was 17, yearning to experience God in a more transformative way and then I did! I’m reminded of who I was when I was 20, fresh off the path of losing that weight, searching for confidence, only to have someone come a long and push me. And then I remember when I was 25, watching my dad dramatically take his last breath. Certain I’d survive, but how? How would I heal? How would my family and I pick up the pieces and move forward without feeling forever shattered and lost? But here we are today… The Winder Women, powered up with the joy of Holy Spirit.

Honestly, I could go on and on about the victories. About the in places in me that were languishing, dead and dying, only to be transformed by the power of Holy Spirit and His ability to lead me straight into a cultivated life.

So, now, where I am going with all of this? Well, if you feel lost, dead and alone on the inside, please be encouraged to know that God is good. Yes, the world’s systems are a failing and chaotically destructive, but God, His Kingdom, His presence, His ways… They are good. He is good. And so, it’s very helpful to lean into His goodness and His grace, even when you feel like your world is going to implode in seconds. Because, eventually, eventually (if our heart is open) He will come in and fill the brokenness and the void with love, peace and joy.

But then, some of you might know this. Some of you might’ve even experienced it. So, for those that have… Please be encouraged to keep pursuing His presence. Remain in the stillness of it. Meditate on His goodness, and continue to allow your trans-dimensional human spirit to interface with His presence that rests on Zion. Because, I believe, the more we spend time in His presence, meditating on His goodness, the more we will find ourselves endowed with the ability to radiate that very presence. And the more we radiate His presence, the more we can share… And the more we share, the more we will see signs and wonders, miracles, healings and deliverance take place. 

But… It all starts with our heart’s desire to focus on the the goodness of God and remain still in His presence. 🌱

soul · truth

It Is Good

Do you know what it’s like to go through things that are truly agonizing for the spirit and soul? Moments in life where you promise yourself that you will get through “this” and you WILL live to tell about “it?”

Yeah… I believe I’ve lived through so many of these moments. Moments of life that have completely broken my heart, forced me out into the great unknown and left me in a place of complete surrender and freedom.

But then… Well I also believe these moments are interesting because they can lose their shine after a while. Time passes and the experiences aren’t as fresh as they once were. Life balances out and you begin to breathe a grateful breath of fresh air again. And then you hope that life always stays like “this”… That you don’t have to face anymore heartache, agony and pain.

And I don’t know about you, but I think this is where I am right now… Living in a time where life isn’t heart-wrenching, agonizing and grey… But then it’s also not over-the-moon/my heart’s greatest desire fantastic… It’s just… Well, it’s just good.

And in this goodness is so much grace. Grace that reminds me that the past is in the past, and the future is still a mystery to be lived. But today… Today is good. 🌱❄️ #cultivatelife #justlive