heart · Spirit · truth

Radiate

I sat down to write something encouraging and inspiring about how it’s been 12 years since I reached my goal of losing 100 pounds. But… As soon as I started typing, my spirit took over and said, “We are writing something else!” So here we go… 

God is good. Even when life is dark, decrepit and unbearably challenging to forge a path through, He is good. And I know it can be challenging to see His goodness. Especially when life is constantly caving in all around; however, that’s what’s so impressive about Him. In the midst of our fear, worry, doubt, heartache and trouble, He is there to offer up a strong shoulder to lean on. He is there to listen to the deepest cry of our heart that says, “I don’t know how much longer this is going to last! I can’t take it anymore.” 

And I’m speaking of God’s goodness because I’ve come into a place over the past few months where I find myself sitting in the stillness of His reverential presence, just meditating on that goodness. 

I just can’t get enough of it. He’s just there in such a heavy way that I feel Him resting on me.

And the heaviness… It’s different than being trapped in demonic entanglements, grids and frequencies. It’s different than the exhausting after-effect of dismantling structures the kingdom of darkness once empowered and occupied. 

Yeah, this weight… This weight is light… I feel like my spirit is floating in a blinding cloud-like substance that is very over-powering. It fills the very depth of my spirit, and brings a flow of living-water to the very heart of my root system.

And in this place of heaviness, I am constantly reminded of victories. I’m reminded of where I was when I was 5 with asthma, but then experienced healing. I’m reminded of where I was when I was 17, yearning to experience God in a more transformative way and then I did! I’m reminded of who I was when I was 20, fresh off the path of losing that weight, searching for confidence, only to have someone come a long and push me. And then I remember when I was 25, watching my dad dramatically take his last breath. Certain I’d survive, but how? How would I heal? How would my family and I pick up the pieces and move forward without feeling forever shattered and lost? But here we are today… The Winder Women, powered up with the joy of Holy Spirit.

Honestly, I could go on and on about the victories. About the in places in me that were languishing, dead and dying, only to be transformed by the power of Holy Spirit and His ability to lead me straight into a cultivated life.

So, now, where I am going with all of this? Well, if you feel lost, dead and alone on the inside, please be encouraged to know that God is good. Yes, the world’s systems are a failing and chaotically destructive, but God, His Kingdom, His presence, His ways… They are good. He is good. And so, it’s very helpful to lean into His goodness and His grace, even when you feel like your world is going to implode in seconds. Because, eventually, eventually (if our heart is open) He will come in and fill the brokenness and the void with love, peace and joy.

But then, some of you might know this. Some of you might’ve even experienced it. So, for those that have… Please be encouraged to keep pursuing His presence. Remain in the stillness of it. Meditate on His goodness, and continue to allow your trans-dimensional human spirit to interface with His presence that rests on Zion. Because, I believe, the more we spend time in His presence, meditating on His goodness, the more we will find ourselves endowed with the ability to radiate that very presence. And the more we radiate His presence, the more we can share… And the more we share, the more we will see signs and wonders, miracles, healings and deliverance take place. 

But… It all starts with our heart’s desire to focus on the the goodness of God and remain still in His presence. 🌱

Mind · soul · Spirit

I’m Not Carrying It… 

I opened the box more and more yesterday… I lived in the day… And as I did… Well parts of me wish I hadn’t…

Because beneath the beautiful wrapping… Well right now I see a heavy, heavy, heavy brown box…

And this heavy brown box is too much for me to carry…

Basically… I don’t want the heavy brown box or whatever is in it…

Now… I might change my mind when I actually open the box…

But for now… Right now… My answer to God is this…

This life situation… It’s to heavy for me to carry… You told me 3 months ago to “wait for the weight”… Well I have… And I don’t want the weight… I am not equip to carry these types of burdens or problems…

And though they cause my heart pain and some grief… I will not pick them up and carry them with me…

Instead I choose to just give it to my Father in Heaven… Because I believe He’s the one strong enough… Equipped enough… Loving enough… And more than enough to carry it all…

And I truly believe if I can do that simple thing over and over again… Well it will lead me to just live with more and more peace…