Tag: journey

power · Spirit

The Gem of Anointing

AmandaLeave a comment

For about a month now, I’ve been asking Holy Spirit if I can share a spiritual experience I had. I mean… It was fascinating!! So, I couldn’t wait for Him to give me the notion to “move forward.”

About a month ago I was praying, listening to Him and speaking to my human spirit… Then, very suddenly, I saw this giant gemstone in the spirit. It was HUGE. About the width of my chest. Very bright and shiny. Very suddenly it started moving towards me, and I watched as angels screwed it into a large opening that instantly appeared inside my spirit’s chest.

Then, I got a separate view of the process… And I saw the large gemstone actually lay itself onto a smaller gemstone that was already inserted inside of my spirit.

OBVIOUSLY, I immediately wanted to know what I just experienced… And so, Holy Spirit began to explain…

He said, “That large gemstone is your anointing. The small gemstone is the heart of your spirit. See how crystal clear the small gem is? That’s because the light is shinning brightly through your fractals. All of your redemptive gifts are being used. And because the light from your spirit has become so bright and strong, I am having angels install this stone of anointing inside of you. It’s your anointing I am giving YOU. It’s separate from the one your grandmother carried. This is yours. I designed it for you and you alone. It fits your spirit in such an intricate way. And it can grow. As your spirit matures and grows in deeper intimacy with Me, the power of that stone will mature and grow. And more of Me will streamline from it.”

Then He went on to explain that everyone that comes into the Kingdom of Heaven has an anointing because it’s part of our inheritance in Christ. He also told me to stop viewing the anointing the way I was raised to view it. He said, “Religion placed people with strong gifts on pedestals and then called that gift the ‘anointing.’ And, while some of that is true, it’s not all true because everyone has redemptive gifts, spiritual gifts AND an anointing that are all separate from each other, but work together when you access them and cultivate a strong relationship with them.”

Now, if you’re anything like me… Or if you know me in the least bit, then you’ll understand that I was immediately eager to start cultivating a relationship with the stone. I mean… The stone, when activated and used, unlocks so much untapped power and a world full of mystery that is begging to be discovered.

And so that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. I’ve been using this very challenging season of maturity to learn about, operate in and pursue my anointing. Because I am learning that the anointing is vital to my personal track of maturity. I cannot move forward without it. It is essential to ruling & reigning in the Heavens and on Earth. It is pivotal in walking out any God-given, God-appointed mandate. And it is separate from gifting. It is separate from fractals of the human spirit. It is structured and built on presence. To be given or ignited within when the time is best.

And I am sharing this with you because I want to continue to encourage you to keep pursuing a relationship with Father God, Jesus, Holy Spirit AND the Kingdom of Heaven. Because when we do, we not only discover more levels of healing, restoration and deliverance, but we also come into a place where we can discover and learn about portions of our inheritance in Christ we never knew we could posses. And those portions, those gifts, those revelations, those anointings… Well they will provide us with the real and raw capability to move about the earth in such a way of power, dominion and authority I don’t believe we’ve ever seen before.

heart · Spirit · truth

The Vault

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I was in the spirit yesterday morning, praying and talking to God like normal… All of a sudden I saw a large brownish/maroonish/whiteish marbled wall that spanned down a hallway. I didn’t know where I was, so I asked Holy Spirit. He said, “You’re in your Heavenly mansion, and I want to show you something that’s locked inside of the vault of your heart.” 

“Cool!!” I thought. “I wonder what this is all about.”

The next thing I knew I found myself in a very large home my dad built and my family lived in in the early 2000s. As I walked around throughout the house, memories of that season came rushing into my mind. Suddenly, I was overwhelmed with the past. The way it felt. The way it sounded. The way it smelt. All of it was actively present and alive in front of me. 

As I walked around I began to wonder, “Okay, what’s this all about? Why am I here? God, why did you bring me to my Heavenly mansion to unlock the vault of my heart? And what does this season of my life have to do with what’s hidden inside of the vault?”


Then, He very carefully began to explain Himself. He showed me a huge truth I’d kept hidden from myself… An area where I chose to believe a lie, and then never stopped believing it. And, although, I’ve known the truth for years, I’ve chosen to push it further and further away from me. He said, “Amanda, you’ve allowed this lie to define who you are in this moment, but it cannot define you anymore. I want you to let it go. I want you to repent and renounce for cultivating it within the grounds of your heart. And then, then I want you to pick up the truth, plant it on this refined ground and then walk away from here covered in My boldness, confidence, humility and security.”

And so… So that’s what I did. I repented for holding onto the lie for so long. I renounced any stronghold or demonic entanglement I might be caught up in because of it. And then… Then I planted the seed of truth on the grounds of my heart.

And I tell you this story because I hope it encourages you to continue to follow Holy Spirit into hidden parts of yourself so that He may inspect the depths of your heart. Because, even after years of life-giving cultivation, there are STILL areas of our lives He can and will dig up so that we can flourish. And, I know a lot of the time we don’t want to follow Him into the past because it requires reliving things that are uncomfortable; however, the powerful thing about moving forward with Him is the truth that we will thrive on the other side. 🌱 #cultivatelife

Spirit · truth

J Man

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This is J Man… Most know Him as Jesus.

He was created a year ago by my ever-so gifted and talented sister Bridget. (The stories on how He was created and why would blow your mind- Maybe I’ll share them one day)

You know… He’s moved with us all over NYC. Yep, each borough we’ve lived in, He’s been with us!

At first it seemed absurd to carry this 5ft canvas with us everywhere we’ve lived, but 6 moves later we’re just grateful that He’s finally in His new home in Queens.

You know… The past 3 weeks have been full of failure upon failure. And there have definitely been moments when I’ve wanted to throw in the towel and tell God, “I’m out ✌🏻.” But then this morning, while I was praying, I looked up and saw J Man… J Man and His big ole bobble head floating above me. And instead of feeling discouraged, doubtful and in disbelief, I was reminded that He’s literally been on this journey with us the entire time. Through all of the moments we’ve wondered if we’d “make it” or if we’re still on the “path,” He’s been a friendly reminder to keep moving forward.

And you know… I don’t know where you are in life today. I don’t know how many failures and disappointments you’ve experienced; however, I do know J Man is real. He’s real and He’s alive when we let Him, Father God and Holy Spirit take the lead in our lives. And I know that’s challenging almost all the time, but I’ve learned every failure is an open door to the next opportunity He wants to lead us too. And even when we make mistakes (like the BIG spiritual one I recently made) He’s ALWAYS there to reroute the path and make up for what was lost.

So where ever you are, and how ever the divine presents Himself to you, please always be willing to follow! It’s 100% worth every step you take! 🌱♥️ #cultivatelife #justlive #bridgetwinderart #jman

Body · Confidence · soul · Spirit · truth · Uncategorized

A Decade in the Making

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Okay… Today, I hit the decade mark of losing 100 lbs! So… What does it mean to me to look at the girl on the left, the young woman on the right and the woman in the middle? Well… To me the three make up a cultivated lifestyle of restoration and freedom.

When I finished losing the weight, I didn’t realize I’d spend the next 10 years allowing Jesus to refine, develop, mature and grow me as a whole.

So when I look at these three photos I don’t see me… Instead I see Him… I see what He’s done in me.

You see, He’s taken a girl who was incredibly insecure, fearful, anxious, prideful, selfish, jealous and bitter… And He’s transformed her into a woman that’s confident, secure, courageous, at peace with the unknown, humble (I still struggle), selfless, grateful and full of joy towards others and myself!

When I started this journey I thought I knew Jesus. I thought I knew Father God. I thought I knew the Holy Spirit. I grew up believing in them, but life and death have taught me that I didn’t know them at all because I hadn’t experienced them on a personal level.

So today I can confidently say they are my foundation and source of life. Together, they constantly keep me strong, healthy and secure. While the past versions of me desperately searched for identity and security, today I believe I stand still on the truth that I can’t be shaken, tossed or turned. My life and all that I am is in Him.

And while the world around me continues to try to show me why I’m not thin enough, thick enough, tan enough, flawless enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, successful enough or even “godly” enough… Well guess what? His opinion of me is all that matters. And He says, “You’re more than enough Amanda because I’ve helped you become a new creation and given you new life through Christ.” 🌱 #cultivatelife

Spirit · truth

The Best Way

AmandaLeave a comment

About 7 years ago I was in college, working on something God had me put my entire self into. The idea He gave me seemed simple; however, I never realized how often I would think about the words He gave me to live by.

“Amanda, the journey you’re about to go on will be very challenging. You can move forward or backward, and you can walk away with what you’ve gained at anytime. However, the goal is to keep moving forward… You must keep moving forward so you can master this ancient way of life. It is the best way.”

In the moment He gave me this wisdom I thought, “This is going to be SO cool and SO much fun! Why would I ever want to quit and walk away? Why would I ever want to move backward?”

It’s funny though… Here I am 7 years later and I have so many moments when I want to just quit and walk away with everything God has given me. I want to take these precious stones of wisdom and just go live my own life. I mean… I’ve gained so much intangible wealth from Him… So do I really need to keep moving forward?!

But then I know the task He gave was to master the lifestyle so then I can give it away to others. Which is why I always stay on the path… I always keep moving forward because I haven’t reached the place where I can fully give what my heart desires to give.

And I don’t know if I’m making any sense; however, what I’m trying to say is this… Living a Spirit led life is the utmost challenging way of life. So many other lifestyles constantly pull at us on a daily basis, reminding us why we should or could stop following the Spirit. But then… Well if we do stop, well I believe our spirit will become stagnant and dull. I believe it will be overcome with soulish comments, questions and concerns. And most importantly, I believe we will begin to die. Maybe not a physical death, but a spiritual one for sure.

So please, be encouraged to always keep pursuing the Holy Spirit and His ways. 🌱🌷 #cultivatelife

soul · Spirit · truth

Selfless Madness

AmandaLeave a comment

I’m convinced the most challenging part of being selfless is the reality that you gain virtually nothing from it. Sure there’s some type of intangible lesson learned… But as far as tangible gain, it’s not there.

And that’s where I am right now… Wrestling with God over this idea… Over this lifestyle of being selfless. He told me He’d bring me to this place, a place where I’d be left with nothing more than Him and His wants and needs for my life and others… And so, here I am.

However, He didn’t tell me what came after this place of selflessness. He didn’t tell me I’d have to pitch a tent and live here and that my soul would constantly feel at war. He didn’t tell me that I’d have to grow and adapt and fully embrace every inch of this. He didn’t tell me it would seem confusing, or that I would be frustrated with my reality.

Instead… He just made selflessness sound so good and appealing. He sold me the idea because He knew I’d follow through like I always do.

And so this morning I sat and said, “But what about me?! Don’t I get some kind of something? A reward? Anything?” He said, “No… That’s the point. There’s no reward to being selfless. You have no personal gain. You’re doing this for the gain of others and my Kingdom. It’s not about you. It’s about Me.”

And so… As angry as I wanted to be with Him… I picked myself up and just embraced what He said. I mean He was and always is telling the truth.

And as seemingly frustrated as I feel about where God continues to lead me as I follow, I’m convinced that there has to be some kind of method and outcome to His madness. There just has to be.🌸🌱 #cultivatelife

Spirit · truth

No Plan

Amanda1 Comment

Why do we have to have a plan? Why is that a credential to move forward in this world?

Because I don’t remember God ever telling me to have a plan. In fact… Every time I create a plan (even the most masterful and brilliant), He comes in and destroys it and then replaces it with something else.

And sometimes the something else is what I want. And other times the something else is what I need. Either way, He always has my best interest at heart.

And so in a world, where we are consumed with planning to prevent future “surprises” and failure… What if we just took a step back and said, “Ok God. You keep leading. I’ll keep following. Tomorrow belongs to you just like today.”?? 🌷 #justlive #cultivatelife

Confidence · Spirit

Prep Mode

AmandaLeave a comment

What happens when stepping out with God doesn’t feel like it’s enough? How do you manage the reality of, “Well I’m doing everything He said to do. What else is there? Shouldn’t I feel whole and complete and ready?!?!”

Because I feel like I’m always in prep mode. Like I’m always aiming to prepare for this game that He says is going to be eventually played out.

But then there’s so much practice. And within the practice and preparation He expects me to bring everything I have and all that I am to the table.

So I keep my head down and listen. I share my world and my thoughts because He says, “Share them.” I don’t do it for others. I do it for Him.

Because I know He’s watching every movement as I continue to practice. And I believe every movement will continue to create a beautiful work of art for His glory alone.

The only hang up is me. Me and what I see. You see… I want to see myself transformed into the best version of me He can bring me to. And I want to keep sharing who I am with all of my faults, twists, turns and victories.

And while I won’t always get it right or do it the best way. Sharing the journey and the moment I’m in is all I really have right now… 🌷🌿 #cultivatelife #justlive

Confidence · Spirit · truth

Remember When?

AmandaLeave a comment

Remember when you were a kid and your parent said, “We’re not there yet. Sit back and enjoy the ride.”?… But then you, without understanding the concept of waiting, became overly frustrated and tired of riding…

That’s where I am in life right now. I am tired of this journey I’m on with God. I can’t explain it, but I’m just worn out with the bread crumb trail He keeps leading me down.

And I know the weariness of it all won’t last very long, but my question is, “What do I do until then? How do I stay content with my reality?”

You see I don’t understand how Jesus followed the Holy Spirit so well. There were moments when He seemed to wrestle with where He was being led, but for the most part He was so obedient to His Father in Heaven.

And I don’t know if you ever feel the way I do right now. But I do know that following God’s plan is a constant. It seems like just as we arrive at one destination He’s giving us the plan for the next journey. And if He’s not giving us the plan, then He’s asking us to wait on it until it’s fully developed.

And so I guess I want to encourage anyone that feels out of sorts with God right now to be patient. Be patient and be kind to yourself. I mean… You’ve come this far with Him right?! I believe in all of your travels He didn’t bring you this far to just leave you weary and tired from the journey. Instead, I believe He wants to lift you up and give you new strength for what ever is ahead.

death · truth

Resurrected Life

AmandaLeave a comment

You know 5 years ago this fall I decided Cultivate Life and I weren’t for each other. I was filled with utter confusion and deep pain as I found myself in the darkest season of my life. I promised myself I’d never allow anything to hurt me like that again because the pain I felt as I watched my hopes and dreams die was heart wrenching.

And then I set sail on a new journey in Cali… Making new a new life and choosing to forget about what I felt was my destiny and purpose. The funny thing is, God had an adventure waiting for me in L.A. that would bring me full circle with Cultivate Life.

He picked me up and put me back together in the craziest environment I’d ever experienced. And the, after He glued my heart back together and saw that I was a whole person, He chose to drop Cultivate Life back into my life again. He resurrected it all.

You see I’ve learned that God is power. I’ve learned that living a life with Him but without His resurrection power is not living at all. I don’t ever want to go another day where I don’t see His Holy Spirit activated and moving in my life. And I realize we don’t always get to this place of power over night… But what I’m trying to say is… If you feel like your life is duller than it should be… If you feel like you’re missing something large and grand and powerful… Then please be encouraged to lean into the life-giving resurrection power of God. Because He alone can take what was dead and buried in the ground and restore it again. He alone can cause parts of your life to become fresh and whole again like never before. And… it all starts as we choose to cultivate life in the Kingdom of God.