keep moving forward · power · truth

The Responsibility

My goal as a writer for the past 8-10 years has always been centered around having the vulnerability to share the inner workings of myself and my relationship with God. To give a first-hand, in the moment account of a cultivated life. My heart is always aiming to demonstrate how Holy Spirit is working to refine and restore parts of me, as He pushes me towards deeper levels of development, maturity and growth.

Some days (like today) I struggle. I struggle with the inner cultivation of myself and how I should communicate it properly. 

Which is why embellishing on my current reality feels more challenging than usual. So please, try to follow what I’m expressing.

The perseverance it’s taken to reach today hasn’t been a cake-walk. The spiritual and mental determination to keep moving forward with the plans of God has felt, at times, utterly impossible from my soul’s perspective. People often say to me, “You’re so strong to keep going… To stay so committed to following Holy Spirit with such a submissive heart.” And while it’s true, it does require strength… None of the strength I’m using belongs to me. I’ve actually asked God for it because I know I need His power, strength and grace to empower all of me: spirit, soul, heart and body. Without eternal reliance and relationship with Him, I am weak and broken. 

Right now, I am learning that perseverance is much more challenging when you’re in a place of persevering (in several areas: personally, and in business), only for God to come and say, “Amanda, here is the next step. Except for this step is less of a step and more of a paradigm shifting way of operating in My kingdom. It will actually make the steps you’re taking seem more effortless, but you must apply it.”

Of course, a more effortless route is so appealing, but then I sit back and consider the responsibility and the serious learning curve I’ll need to submit to in order for this to become a component of my lifestyle. 

And that… That is my hang up… The responsibility.

But you know… I cannot become overwhelmed by the thought of the responsibility. I cannot become consumed with the hard work and training that will have to take place in order for this to become a facet of my lifestyle. I cannot embrace the lies I hear about how difficult this will be because then I will empower the liar. And I certainly cannot embrace fear, doubt or unbelief in any way because then I will begin to lose my strength and authority to cultivate this reality. 

And I don’t know if I am making complete sense, but my soul keeps saying, “If you obey God, then this path you’ve been paving and persevering down is going to be absolute hell! It’s going to be so heavy and exhausting to blaze forward!” 

However, God’s given the instruction. And He’s not asking for my opinion about it. No, He wants my complete submission and obedience to the instruction no matter how my soul feels about it. Which means, even if I don’t love the idea of another responsibility, I became responsible the moment He gave me the instruction. So, I must step forward and simply obey. He has and He will continue to supply the power, strength and grace needed for the responsibility at hand. 🌱

keep moving forward · Mind · power

Violence

The past three days or so I’ve felt a growing sense of violence surrounding me. Like I can’t breathe because I feel an extreme measure of torment pursuing my heart and soul. And I’ve never been a depressed type, but I do feel a very sudden and extreme sense of hopelessness weighing me down.

Of course I’ve been questioning, “What the actual hell is going on? Why do I suddenly feel this way? What’s the root? Where is this coming from and how do I cut the source off and prevent another wave from coming?”

So, after literally willing myself out of bed this morning, I sat and pondered the source. And then I found it. Friday. Friday there was a clear and direct deposit in the spirit from Holy Spirit. A deposit that gave my sister and I a direct conclusion for a project we’ve been faithfully working on. And, from that point, the enemy of my soul began to enact his plan, shifting my focus from God’s deposit to his own deposit of extreme doubt, fear and hopelessness. I actually sat on the end of my bed yesterday crying because I couldn’t seem to switch off the aimed frequency causing the mental and physical torment I felt.

After gaining the source, I began to feel somewhat better so I asked Holy Spirit, “What do I do now?” He said, “Call your human spirit forward.” So, I did. And I asked her what was up. Her response, “The enemy of your soul is trying to make you quit. He would like you to focus on the tangible world around you and cause you to exist from a soulish playing field of life. He’s trying to divide your spirit and your soul, while creating confusion and torment from within.” 

After my human spirit was finished speaking, I turned back to Holy Spirit for direction. He said, “Divine alignment is happening in the spirit concerning the project. Don’t take your focus off of Me. I told you the Fall would be messy but to remain focused on Me. There’s been a new release concerning this project you are working on. The accuser is after you. If he can get you to fold, he can get the entire project to fold. Tell him no. Tell him you aren’t interested in whatever he is selling. Tell him you choose to operate with love, power and a sound mind. Not fear. Do not buy what he is selling with your own free-will. Stand firm. Stand your ground. You are on holy ground. Do not step into torment or accept it.”

And I’m sharing this because it’s vital to be reminded of the violent nature of the power we combat in the spirit. It’s essential to see that complete submission to Holy Spirit followed by consistent forward movement creates great stress and fear inside of the kingdom of darkness’s camp. And it’s extremely necessary that we pull ourselves closer to Holy Spirit, determine the root of the enemies plan, devise a scheme with Holy Spirit to fight back and then KEEP MOVING FOWARD towards the goal He’s placed in front of us.

And I know that it is challenging. We live in unprecedented times. However, we must keep our eyes focused on the path He’s placed before us, rather than the violence aiming to take us under and consume the divine culture and quality of our spiritual nature. 🌱

keep moving forward · Spirit

Questioning It All

I had a vision yesterday morning. I was in a dark, spacious cave, and I saw a waterfall flowing from a tall mountain-top of black rock. The mouth of the waterfall was wide. As the water fell, it plunged into a pool at the bottom, and then began to rapidly flow into a ravine. The ravine was different from the spacious cave. It was very tube like, tight and cramped. Still dark, but elevating downward. Then, very suddenly, I saw what seemed to be an end to the darkness… A bright light!

After this played out, I heard Holy Spirit. He said, “You are in a very tight, isolated and concealed space right now. So much is happening at once. I know it doesn’t seem like it is, but it is. Trust the flow. Trust what you feel in your human spirit. Trust the direction you’re being led… Even though you don’t understand. Trust Me.”

And then He stopped talking.

Lately, it’s been extremely challenging to keep moving forward. When you walk through many difficult seasons of life, without breaking into what God’s promised, you begin to question everything. And I have been. I am questioning it all. 

You see… It’s just the insight… The ideas… The concepts He’s given me over the years… Well, I’ve held so firm to them. He revealed them to me, planted them in my heart, watered them, nurtured them, watched them develop, mature and grow… And I see the fruit. I see what His ideas, concepts and dreams have produced in my own life and the lives of those that are close to me. But then… Then I ask, “What about the rest? What about the broad scope of all You envisioned and shared with me? And, I know I lack a lot of understanding, but how much longer will You choose to keep Your work concealed? Because I don’t care about fame, fortune, followers or ‘success.’ That doesn’t move me. Honestly, I only, truly care about You. I care that multitudes see how sensational of a feeling it is to be satisfied by only You. I care to share the same measure of love with others that You have shared with me. Everyone has to know! They must know that You aren’t so much ‘cool or hip or relevant.’ Instead, You’re legitimate and virtuous in Your very nature. You’re exactly what each person needs You to be in his/her own life at any given moment because relationship with you is a lifestyle, not a pop culture phenomenon or religion.”

His response? Quiet. Very still. Actually, His stature is so still that it echoes in a very boisterous way. Which then leads me to be still. To calm my soul. To stay present, confident and very focused on exactly where He’s leading. To not be conformed to my lack of understanding, but to just keep moving forward through this very tight, isolated and concealed space in time. 🌱

Spirit · truth

Three Years Later

On Tuesday my sister and I marked 3 years in NYC. If you know me or have followed my writings for a while then you know getting to this chapter of life was a journey for us. We’ve faced more life trials and obstacles than I’d wish on anyone; however, over the past three years, living in NYC has been a different kind of journey.

You see we don’t follow the flow of the cultural norm. We were raised in a household that taught us how to cultivate a relationship with the Holy Spirit and follow His lead over everything else. So, in life and in business, we make decisions based around what He says is best because that is faith… Fully following where He’s leading without fear, doubt, hesitation or selfishness. 

And it’s been challenging. It is challenging. We both have things we want in life; however, we’re both completely set on following the ideas, concepts, dreams and realities He’s shared with us over everything else.

A year ago, I shared about a mountain He’s asked us to climb. I said, “My sister and I have climbed lots of mountains before… Separately and together. But… THIS… THIS mountain is unique because we must take all that He has deposited inside of us (separately and together), multiply it with a new deposit of His gifts and then produce a finished product. Funny thing… Neither of us have a clue what the finished product will look like! Oh sure… We kind of know what it might feel like. And we definitely know what ideas need to be incorporated into the whole. However… the final outcome is a mystery.”

Since writing that, the mystery has unraveled itself in such a powerful and unexpected way. I am honestly blown away with the insight, revelation, wisdom, understanding, provision and connection He’s provided us with. I am blown away with His goodness to keep this ship fully sailing. I am blown away with who He is and how amazing it’s been to lean on Him in the midst of the extreme isolation that is our reality.

And I’m sharing this with you because I want to encourage you to keep moving forward with Him wherever He is leading. Because when we do… When we fully surrender to the world He sees… Well, then we can reconstruct. We can build. We can unite. We can create. We can help pull His trans-dimensional Kingdom down into this Earth. 🌱⚔️

power · Spirit · truth

Middle-Ground Movement

You know that place between the beginning and the end? Yeah! The middle! That place! That spot where you’re certain you’ve stepped out into a higher level of faith… A level that is extremely uncomfortable. And now… Now that you’re in the middle, you’ve actually become kind of comfortable because the initial shock of stepping out has worn off. However, you can clearly see that there’s a good distance to go before you reach the end of the season. And so, you feel somewhat agitated about the entire process because you know there’s no turning back… You must keep moving forward… You must blaze the trail as you persevere to the end.

Yeah… That’s me. That’s my current life scenario.

It’s just this serious series of persistent stretching. I feel stretched to capacity in every area of life right now. I feel like God keeps saying, “Amanda, look how far we’ve come together. Look at what we’ve accomplished in the intimate, isolated time we’ve spent cultivating life together. And I know the level of faith you’ve been asked to step out into every day feels steep and sometimes unbearable, but there is a purpose in all of it. So, you must keep moving forward. You must keep moving up that mountain. And you must stay focused on Me above all as you climb. And, even when you feel like you’ve ‘missed it,’ you must return to Me for the validation that you have in fact not missed it. So, keep going!”

And now some of you might be thinking, “Okay Amanda, why are you telling me this? Why are you sharing God and your inner growth with me AGAIN?” Well, because the relationship I’ve cultivated with Him is the realest, truest, most honest thing I know. And so, I want to encourage you to keep pursuing a deeply cultivated relationship with Holy Spirit. I want you to be inspired to turn to Him for solutions to all of your situations. I want you to look to Him as the source that works with Jesus to bring our ultimate freedom, deliverance and healing. 

And then others might be thinking, “Okay, I understand where you’re coming from because I feel Him pressuring me into more intimacy too, so how do you do it? How do you balance all of it without wanting to completely abandon ship?”

Well, honestly, I believe Holy Spirit is getting ready to move. I believe, in this supernatural, paradigm shifting era of time we’re all existing in, He’s getting ready to forcefully jump onto the scene. And because He’s preparing Himself, He must also prepare us for it. And so, He keeps asking us to climb a little higher with Him… To summit our own personal mountain of God and to remain faithful (spirit, soul, heart and body) to Him in the process.

And of course, it’s a challenge to faithfully summit. It’s a challenge to continuously step away from agendas, mindsets and lifestyles that have been controlling us so that we may see Him, His Kingdom and His truth in a raw, real and more perceptive way. And that’s the marrow of it all… That’s why I choose to keep going. Because when He moves… When He moves, He’s going to push those of us that have stepped out into the steepness of His presence into the light. He’s going to use us to communicate His Kingdom to the earth. 

And that… That inspires me so deeply at my core. It presses me to stay focused on where He’s leading because I want to work with Holy Spirit… And not against Him. I want to help Him reveal Jesus and the Kingdom in a very authentic, unifying and life-giving way. And because of that deep desire within me, I choose, in every moment, to keep my eyes focused on Him and the inner validation I am receiving about where I am headed in life. 🌱 #cultivatelife

authority · heart · soul · Spirit

Weary for Nothing

“Ew… You’re whining and complaining again Amanda!! Remember, we’ve outgrown this place. And I know it’s challenging to understand where Holy Spirit is leading and why He’s pointing “that way next,” but we don’t whine and complain because of our heart and soul’s lack of understanding. Instead we power up the giftings and tools He’s equipped us with and move forward.”

And so… There it is… The continuous conversation I will have with myself until my heart and soul learn how align with my spirit and then persevere past this place of obvious weakness.

And I don’t know about you, but perseverance can be very exhausting. Which is why I found it very interesting when I heard Holy Spirit say, “I want you to be weary for nothing. You must come to a place in Me where you don’t become tired with moving forward. You must get up and go at all times.”

“Oh okay… Amazing. So you want me to ignore my soul’s weariness even though I am fully aware that I don’t know what “next” is. And you want me to do it in my 30s… A time when my entire life is laying before me and I still want to do what I want to do, but I won’t because my heart’s desire has become to fully follow You no matter what… Okay…. I will do it.”

It’s been like this with Him lately. He’s been opening up vast realms and dimensions of His Kingdom to me, all while pushing me to fully participate in them at once. Why? Well because I am an active player in His Kingdom. And, when you’re an active player (we all should be), you don’t get to go sit on the sidelines and rest when you’re tired. Instead, you keep moving forward when He says, “KEEP GOING.”

And so now you might be wondering, “Okay, Amanda… How do you move forward then? How do you find the energy, the will and the tenacity to stay His course?”

Well, first and foremost, I plug my human spirit into the presence of God as much as possible. Yeah, that’s right. I get into His presence and allow Him to pour more of His energy and power into me. And then… Then I operate from my human spirit as much as possible because it contains the energy, will and tenacity to keep going.

And it’s been a process to learn how to do this; however, I’ve learned that the more I allow my spirit to lead, the less likely my soul will scheme up an escape plan because my spirit’s strength outweighs my soul. And the more my heart aligns with the heart of Father God, the more confident, secure and at peace I become in my purpose in any given moment.

Also, cultivating a lifestyle that continually combats the kingdom of darkness has revolutionized my world and those around me. I just don’t give myself excuses anymore when it comes to spiritual warfare. Instead, I allow my spirit to be the “superhero” God intended her to be. I give her the reins when speaking to principalities, demons on assignment and demonic weaponized energy sources. I let her rule and reign from the throne God has entrusted her with, all while channeling what He’s deposited deep within.

And I know this might all sound weird; however, this is how I live. Actually this is how I’ve gradually lived as I’ve learned how to cultivate the lifestyle I am currently living from. And sure… Give it some time and there will be a higher level of where I am right now, but today… Today, we persevere. 🌱 #cultivatelife #keepmovingforward

Confidence · Spirit · truth

THIS Mountain

I’m climbing THIS mountain in front of me.

Actually… WE are climbing THIS mountain in front of US.

My sister and I have climbed lots of mountains before… Separately and together. But… THIS… THIS mountain is unique because we must take all that He has deposited inside of us (separately and together), multiply it with a new deposit of His gifts and then produce a finished product.

Funny thing… Neither of us have a clue what the finished product will look like! Oh sure… We kind of know what it might feel like. And we definitely know what ideas need to be incorporated into the whole.

However… the final outcome is a mystery.

And… To be completely honest with you… I like it that way because it reveals how much trust is rooted inside of our relationships with God and with each other.

After all… “It’s not always our business to know why God has asked us to do certain things. But it is ALWAYS our business to follow.”

So… If you’re reading this and you truly believe in the Godhead… If they are really the foundation and bedrock of your life: spirit, soul and body, then you MUST FULLY FOLLOW the Holy Spirit’s lead. And… I’ve learned that He doesn’t normally give a 2-step plan, a 5-step plan or a 10-step plan. He more or less says, “Here’s the next step… Now take it.” 🌱 #cultivatelife #bridgetwinderart #windersisters

Confidence · Spirit · truth

“Help. Me.”

“Help. Me.” is what I quietly screamed at my sister across the gym yesterday. The weight I tried to load onto my shoulders for lunges was entirely too heavy for me to lift.

Of course she quickly looked at me like, “What am I supposed to do Amanda?! You think I can help you lift 80 pounds?!”

But she did. My sister helped me pick up the weight and then together we placed it on it’s stand.

And that’s what this entire journey has been… A constant series of two sisters helping each other move forward right when the other seems like she might crumble.

Those are the things no one sees though… The moments where we both want to give up because God’s system for living isn’t working the way we imagined it would.

You see it seemed so simple when He showed me a picture of the outcome. But then I didn’t consider that my choices would lead me to a place that would look like this for so long. I didn’t realize there would be years and years and years of refusing to cave.

And I also didn’t realize my response would consistently be… “Well, I consulted God and He said, ‘No. No, don’t do that. Don’t sell out. Don’t go that route. Don’t buy into what’s cheap, fake and entirely insecure. Keep following me. It will all come together in My timing Amanda. You have to keep trusting Me.”

And so I do… We both do. Actually we all three do. Mom included. Even with the soul-ripping, sudden loss of dad. We have chosen to band tighter to God and go even higher with Him and His ways.

And sure… Sure it hasn’t been easy. But I can promise you this… My choice to trust God and take risks with Him and His ways have been the best choices I’ve ever made because they’ve made me confident, secure, whole, complete and at peace with the out-of-control world around me. And no, no He doesn’t always make sense. And yes, yes spirituality is almost always terrifying because it means we have to let go and trust in things we might not believe are real. But I just want to encourage you to trust that He’s there. Trust that He’s waiting to lift the 80 pounds you cannot lift alone off of your shoulders. And trust that He will guide you after the weight is gone so you can #cultivatelife 🌱