Feeling like a Nine Year Old…

For about a week and a half… A conversation has resonated in my mind…

I was in the car on the way to a birthday party… The nine year old girl in the backseat said, “will we have to pay for tickets to the Beyoncé concert?!”…

Her aunt and I immediately giggled… And then I said, “sweetheart, between your aunt and father… You’ll never have to pay for a concert ticket”…

Now the girl is only nine… Meaning she hasn’t quite realized who her father is yet… It hasn’t registered with her that she has benefits that most children will only dream about…

She has yet to “get” that she is capable of asking for so much… And that she doesn’t have to worry about going without…

So… Right now… I feel like this nine year old…

I haven’t quite realized who my Father in Heaven is… I don’t see that I am capable of asking for so much… I don’t yet see that He owns everything… It hasn’t registered with me that it’s His good intention to give me the Kingdom… And that He delights in seeing me happy…

Because… Like so many… Our mindsets aren’t in a place of royalty… We more so believe we have to work hard… That we have to prove that we are a child of God…

But… Like this nine year old… I truly believe… Soon… I am going to realize who I am as a child of God… And I believe that when I do… Well I’ll begin to realize I never ever had anything to worry, fear or be anxious about…

And I believe I’ll see my Father in a new way… For who He is and how He works… For the things He does for those He loves…

And… How effortless it is for Him to just “get” the Beyoncé tickets…

Kingdom Timing…

 The word timing is a word I’ve heard my entire life…

It’s been expressed in different ways… But I feel like the way it’s been stressed to me the most is “God’s timing…”

Those two words together have always caused curiosity to bubble up inside of me… Because… Well I’ve never understood them…

And honestly, well… I still don’t understand them…

But I do see… As I gain a clear preception of who I am as a daughter of God… Well I see that timing is key…

For years there have been things I’ve wanted… That I’ve literally dreamed about and hoped for… That I’ve chased after with curiosity and a sort of passion…

And sometimes I believed I was crazy for wanting them all… But then I always believed that they could become a reality…

And then I would constantly hear, “It’s not time. In God’s time..” Even my dreams consisted of phrases that included the words timing…

And so somewhere… In the span of the last two years… Well I’ve become lost in the moment… I’ve become so wrapped up in each and every moment… And their passing… I’ve been fulfilled with how pregnant with life they’ve been… And in so many ways, well I’ve forgotten about dreams and the timing of God..

Now… Now here I stand… And I am simply amazed by God… About how wonderful He is…

Because… As I choose to change my preception of life… Well I’m realizing that God’s timing is like that of a Kingdom…

And my Father in Heaven could not give me what He wanted to before… I was not yet mature enough… Or fit enough to handle certain responsibilities…

Sure, like all royalty, the crown belongs to the Sons and Daughters of the King… But responsibility… Well that’s a completely different story…

And I’m seeing that the responsibility of the crown cannot be passed down until the children are completely ready… Until the King sees them fit enough…

Yes… All good things are coming from the Father… But the timing of what they actually want… What I’ve actually wanted… Well it hasn’t been time…

And until recently… Well it hasn’t been time…

So more and more I find myself encouraged to continue to gain a clear, clear perspective of the Kingdom I’ve been born into… Of my right to be a daughter of the King…

And I believe in that… Well… It will continue to encourage me to just be… To just be who I am… And the trust that the timing is near… As I just live…

My Tale of Two Fathers…

As I wander with stillness… I’m learning something powerful…

When I was a kid, my mom always told me, “the way you treat your earthly father is how you treat your Heavenly Father. And visa versa…”

At the time she was trying to instill proper respect towards both of my fathers into me…

Yesterday…. This truth my mom constantly spoke into my life was brought to my attention…

And that’s when I realized something… My relationship with my father was filled with areas of closeness…. But the foundation was built on fear, anxiety and constant worry… He would throw his worries and fears for me and others onto me…

And it wasn’t a good feeling… Yet it was all I knew…

So… As I’ve been allowing my Heavenly Father to become my only father… Well I’m continuing to learn… The things he “throws” on me are good things…. Love, peace and joy…

Nothing that has to do with the shortcomings and downfalls of life…

And I’m sure, if you’re like me, you’d agree that love, peace and joy are so much better than fear, anxiety and worry…

The problem lies in my ability to accept what my Heavenly Father is giving me…

Because…. Like my mother told me… I’m treating my Heavenly Father the way I treated my earthly father… And wrapped inside of what they both gave and continue to give… Well is a certain fear…

A fear of fear, anxiety and stress…

So… I’m challenged in a way… To simply accept all good things that flow my way… But to accept them with a heart of faith and peace… With stillness…

Because… Unlike my earthly father… My Heavenly Father has no intention of causing me to feel afraid of become stressed….

And in this simple truth… I believe it will cause me to just live a simpler life… Standing firm on the faith that my Heavenly Father loves me… And will continue to show up and provide when I need him the most…

Ambassador…

In so many ways I’d like to say… I’d like to think… I’d like to allow myself to believe that I am a good ambassador of those around me…

That I represent my family, friends and work environment properly…

But then I’m human… So a lot of the time I don’t do what I’d actually like to do… I’m not the best…

But lately… Lately… With my mind changing… With it being sculpted towards the Kingdom of God… Towards actually being the daughter of God I was created to be… Well I find myself also wanting to represent God and his entire unseen Kingdom in a real, but different way…

And it can be compared to my work environment… Where I find myself as an extension of my boss… In public, my responsibility is to represent her the best way possible… In speech and in actions… No one should question what her character is like… Because I should set the best example of her…

And sometimes I do that poorly…

And a lot of the time I do that poorly for God… I represent him in a vulnerable way… Rather than just sharing what he wants… Which is the Kingdom… A way of living that is unquie, but so very true to him and his nature in Heaven…

And that’s where I find myself today… In this desire to want to simply represent myself properly… As an ambassador of God…

And I don’t completely have this new mindset… But I’m believing that it will continue to grow on me… As I continue to pursue it fully…

Sons and Daughters… of the King

IMG_6998Living in the land of smoke and mirrors… A place that seems to be a world within itself… Focused on self…

Well it’s taught me so much…

And recently the lesson I’m learning is changing my life…

Because it’s changing my perspective…

As I look around at the celebrity children that surround me… The ones I care for… And others I come in contact with… Well I’m learning that these kids have an inheritance based around the benefits of being the sons and daughters of whom ever there famous parents are…

Because in this world… In this world their parents are basically considered kings and queens of different industries… Whether they’ve been on top or they are on top… People have a certain amount of respect for the children of the “kings and queens” of this land…

And I say all of this because this truth is changing my life… Because it’s showing me that we… As believers in Christ truly are sons and daughters of God… And being sons and daughters… We should have a certain mentality that says, “my father in Heaven is the top. He reigns over the unseen spiritual world. And we have a great inheritance”…

An inheritance that should be seen and respected in the physical… Just like I see these celebrity children respected in the physical…

But… We just don’t have that mentality yet… As sons and daughters of God… Far too many of us walk around with our heads low to the ground… Believing God is our father… But also believing that we have to do a list of things in order to receive his love and great inheritance…

But… As I live… I don’t believe we have to “do” anything… We simply have to “be”… We have to be ourselves… We have to have truly be the children of the God in the unseen world…

And through that… Well our purpose on earth is fulfilled… Because then we are able to love our father as he loves us… And we are able to share that love with others that don’t yet realize they too can become children of the Most High God…

And in truth… I hope this truth inspires and motivates you to begin to change your thought life… To begin to think like the son or daughter… Like the prince or princess of God… Because within that type of mentality we can all become stronger and just live and fuller life…