Anger has been coursing through my veins lately… And while I do realize that the anger is only really harming me, I don’t want to make peace with it. Instead, I keep hoping that it will eventually touch the person I’m angry with and make that person feel pain too.
Life just feels so unfair and unjust sometimes. And I guess the unfairness and injustice I feel has led to my anger.
I’m having a hard time making peace with it too. It constantly runs circles in my mind, and throws my emotions for a whirl.
A wise person said, “Amanda, the unfairness you feel is a result of brokenness and incompleteness. You’re seemingly whole in God and you’re angry because you want that for this person. The amount of brokenness and incompleteness is hurting you. You have to let go and move forward.”
And while I know all of these things are true, sometimes it’s just so challenging to move forward. You know?
And then when I seemingly do… When I’ve made peace… Well there are always these little voices that pop up and remind me of the past. Saying things like, “Well what about this time when this person hurt you here and made you feel so small, insecure and incomplete. Be angry with the life you’ve been robbed of Amanda. Be angry.”
But you know, I’m just so tired of this rollercoaster. And so I’m trying… I’m truly trying to get off of this ride so I can move forward towards the life God continues to unfold in front of me š·šš» #cultivatelife
Have you ever been in a moment in life where you’ve had to put something valuable to rest? It may be a person, a place or a thing… But the reality is that you have to let go of it with the idea that you may never cross paths with it again.
Why is it so challenging to admit how we really feel on the inside? Why does it feel like a battle to express that we donāt like who we are in this present moment of life?
