assignment · challenge · darkness · develop · faith · humility · seasons · surrender

Immovable Mountain?

What happens when the situation… When the problem… When the mountain wouldn’t seem to move?

How do we react when we know God is working, but we can’t seem to understand why He can’t show off and make the big problem instantly disappear?

All these years of following and He still continues to be the strangest, yet most fascinating mystery to me. I’ve never met anyone like Him, and I hope I never do.

Since the year’s started I’ve gotten pretty adjusted to living in today, without planning ahead. Each day is basically a mystery waiting to be solved. However, the sell of my family’s home still continues to baffle me. It’s still ours. We still live in it and pay for it. We are still patiently waiting for the buyer to come.

And though I’ve spent a good amount of time wrestling with God over His lack of “magic,” I’m now coming to a place where I’m actually grateful it hasn’t sold yet. Because, rather than see the mountain disappear, I’ve had to follow God up and over it. Which has been a wild adventure for my insecurities, fear and shame.

You see it’s been a steep and very challenging mountain to climb. One that has required more of me than I ever imagined I could give. And, just when I begin to think I can’t take another step forward, I look down and remember who’s holding my hand. I remember that I’m following the steps of the God that is greater than all of the problems in front of me. And though I’d like them to disappear, conquering them with His help has been so much more fun!

He’s shown me that there’s nothing to really, truly fear at all. Nothing can destroy me when He’s got my back. And I believe my time in Shreveport has become a place where I’ve had to wrestle with God over who He actually is. And as the wrestling is coming to an end, I am able to step back and realize this is the very place He’s always wanted me to be. In a place where I will not stand down because I will hold Him accountable to His words and promises as He pushes me to be the very best version of myself possible.

And I don’t know what this entire season of life is meant for in my future. I keep telling mom I don’t understand why it’s necessary to be so strong in Him and His ways. But, I do see that His lack of moving this mountain of problems is quickly becoming the greatest mountain of purpose.

Mind · soul · Spirit

Found In the Mountains…

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God… This mesmerizing being… This being that wants to communicate with me on the regular… This being that is cool and relaxed… He’s loving and graceful… He also tells me exactly like it is every time… Even when I choose to take it into my own context… Allowing it to mean what I want it to mean…
But he’s still this amazing being… One that I am so blessed to know and understand to a degree…
I haven’t been home in 6 months… It’s the longest I’ve been without traveling  home to see my family… And I know things have changed… I’ve changed… My life has broadened… It has expanded… And I honestly don’t know who I am becoming as a person…
But in the midst of it all… Well I can’t help but become humbled with the way I see God in this very moment… The way I see my relationship with him…
Because I see him as I see the mountains… They are solid and strong… Never changing their foundation… But appearing different… Time goes by and they look a little different… Sometimes they’re covered with snow… Other times they are covered with trees and dirt… The weather helps change their appearance too… And from time to time nature plays a part in their appearance…
But I know that the mountain I see will always be there… For as long as I live… It will be a mountain… Of various shape and size and color… For others to experience… For life to experience…
And  these mountains… They remind me of God… They remind  me of my relationship with him… They show me that although I’m changing… Although time has gone by and I have expanded and grown… Maybe even matured some… Well i’m still solid… My foundation hasn’t changed… And I still have a relationship with God that is concrete…
Yes, it’s changed form… It looks different than it did before… But it’s still good… And it’s still so much a part of me…
And I honestly don’t know why that’s so important for me to express for myself right now… But I just feel like I need to remind myself that I might change… I might grow and experience life in a completely different way than I have before… But I will always be strong at my foundation like the mountains around me…
And it’s just so encouraging for my spirit… And for my soul… It’s a good solid reminder to not be afraid of what’s next… but to continue to gracefully move forward…
Ans I’m so ok with that…