Tag: move forward

keep moving forward · soul · Spirit

Faith for the Mountain

AmandaLeave a comment

I love this time of the year. God’s supernatural window is open in an extraordinary way as He pulls Himself closer to us. And you know I found myself sitting with Him this morning, discussing a list of projects that lay before me, praying for a number of situations that need to come into divine alignment and also receiving some solid wisdom and gifting for forward movement.

And then… Then He said to me, “I want to give you My mountain of healing. I want to plant it in your heart. It is for you to share with others.” Then I immediately asked, “Is this mountain a seed, or is it like a potted plant, one that’s already semi-nurtured and developed, that needs to be planted on the grounds of my heart?” Then I saw what looked very similar to a tiny replica of Disney’s Magic Kingdom with roots hanging off of it. It was about the size of an engagement ring box. And He said, “It’s a plant. And I am going to plant it inside of you. You will share it with others. I will water it with My glory so it may grow.”

Hmmm… Interesting…

Now, I really don’t have the slightest clue what’s ahead. If I were to guess based on the boundaries of my soulish mind, I would say it will grow and become whatever He intends it to be. But then, I am also very aware that my human spirit’s superconscious mind and Holy Spirit can provide me with more answers than my soul can. 

So, I asked them. And I saw very clearly (but in way more details than I’m allowed to share) that His mountain of healing is going to be a cultivated journey of sorts with many highs and lows. Which does make me feel somewhat prepared, but then also causes me to embrace my reality… Which is that I’m going to have to use faith… Faith that I don’t have in this current moment will be needed to help this mountain grow.

And I believe it’s all together very exciting. It’s exciting to think, “WOW! I will have to step out into uncharted territory to watch this thing develop, mature and grow into what God intends it to be inside of me for others.”

Because what’s the point of believing in God, Jesus and the Kingdom of Heaven if we aren’t pushed to the limits in our relationships with them and the world around us? What’s the point to trusting if we aren’t perpetually thrust into a place of faith for the unseen every single day? What’s the point of saying, “Yes, I’ll submit and follow,” to only turn our attention back to the culture of the ever-evolving, illusive and enchanting “American Dream?” And as much as I enjoy the “ladder of so-called success,” what’s the point of climbing it if His heart, visions, dreams and purposes aren’t sewn into the very foundation of it all with a promise to produce a quality harvest of fruit on the other end? 🌱

challenge · keep moving forward · seasons

Seasonal Milestones

AmandaLeave a comment

It’s dark, tight and completely isolated, but not in a divisive, evil or wicked way. More so in a deeply concealed and ingeniously crafted manner.

I am confident. I am strong. I firmly believe moving forward with great courage and tremendous hope is the only way now.

And I hear Him saying, “Run with perseverance. Run hard. Do not look to the left or to the right with jealousy, pride and covetous. Do not look behind in grief, disappointment and frustration. Do not look ahead with fear, unbelief and worry. Instead, run with perseverance. It’s going to take everything I’ve deposited in the depths of you to breakthrough into the next season.”

But then I do ponder past seasons… So intricately and carefully designed, they are eternal fuel firing from the depths of my spirit, heart and soul. They are calling me higher and propelling me forward.

Actually, the past seasons of refinement, development, maturity and growth appear to be indispensable and multifaceted gifts… Gifts that have actually morphed into the faith I need to keep picking up the assignment of forward movement. 

And I’m sharing this with you because I understand how challenging it is to hear Holy Spirit’s voice and then blindly follow His very unknown, uncertain and ever-evolving ways for years without breakthrough. I understand how challenging it can feel to wonder, “How much longer until we reach the promises You hold so dear to Your heart God.” But then I am also beginning to embrace that I’ve needed each season He’s led me to and led me through in the past. Because each season, each season is a milestone. Milestones filled with intricate chaos. Milestones dashed with process and progress. Milestones that have cultivated the very faith my spirit, heart and soul need to finish this leg of the race! 🌱 #cultivatelife

capacity · focus · heart · process

Heaven’s Pace

AmandaLeave a comment

Last week I told you that God was examining my heart again…

Of course, in the moment I didn’t really understand what the examination was all about. I mean… He does inspect it quite often, but this time… This time felt different. 

So, in true “Amanda form,” I questioned Him about it.

His response, “I’m checking out your capacity. You’ve been asking me for two months to increase your capacity, and I’m ready to do it. So, here I am inspecting the middle ground of your being to make sure it’s prepared to handle the increase of responsibilities I’m sending your way.”

Okay… When I heard this, I was truly excited!

You see over the years I’ve learned that God will not give us more than we contain. Sure, the world’s system has a way of offering us piles of things we aren’t prepared for, but God… God is unique in the fact that He never wants to overwhelm our refinement, development, maturity and growth. Meaning, we can incessantly ask for things, but He’s probably not going to hand them over until we’ve matured into the version of self that He needs us to be.

His process is holy you know?.. It offers us the grace to go at Heaven’s pace. And sure… Sure it takes times to get where we’re going; however, when we do get there, we are able to contain the weight of the responsibilities He’s entrusted us with because we have the capacity to hold it.

And I don’t know if I’m making perfect sense when explaining this; however, I do hope and pray you are inspired to remain focused with where He has you right now. I hope you don’t settle and begin to chase after systems that will ultimately lead to death and destruction of your spirit, soul and heart. Because, I believe, the refinement, development maturity and growth He’s taking you through will provide you with the capacity you need to move forward in every aspect of life. 🌱 #cultivatelife

soul · Spirit

Quit… Today?

AmandaLeave a comment

I thought about quitting today. I told God, “I can’t do this anymore.” Actually… I’ve been telling Him that for a few weeks now. “I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want your stupid promises! It’s cost so much to get to this place! I don’t care about your will!”

You see my heart is deeply battling. And I want to walk away. I’d give anything to walk away. Walking away would be so much easier in this moment than moving forward.

But, in truth, it’s just my emotions… My feelings are trying to muddle what God, His promises and what He keeps telling me to do.

But when I step back… When I step back and breathe… When I step back long enough to hear His voice say, “I need you to keep moving forward.” Well… I know in my heart I have no other choice but to keep moving forward. 🌱 #cultivatelife #keepmovingforward

soul · Spirit

Doubtful Disbelief

AmandaLeave a comment

“Stop what you’re doing!”… That’s what doubt and disbelief scream at me. “Stop what you’re doing and don’t move forward because you’re a fool and this is ridiculous.”

And it’s like that every time I step out in faith… I feel great at first. I feel like, I can “take on the world.” I feel like the hand of cards I placed on the table is being played nicely.

And then… Then huge waves of doubt and disbelief come. And they remind me of the past. They remind me how disappointed I’ve felt at times for excepting one thing and receiving another. They remind me how long the journey has been without the promises fulfilled. They remind me of the isolation I feel for following Holy Spirit instead of listening to man-made systems and structures. They remind me of the death, pain and sacrifice I’ve been through to get today… The people and places I’ve lost and the relationships that went sour. They remind me that I don’t know what I’m actually doing in life, nor do I have any control at all.

I hate doubt and disbelief.

But… Well, without them… Would taking the risk even be a thing? If my past, present and future weren’t all on the table ready to be gambled at my own free-will, then would I even be in God’s will?

And so I step back… I step back with humility, and I remember how much I develop, mature and grow every time I’m faithful. I remind myself that God’s never EVER left my side… If anything we’ve grown closer. I also remind myself how good it feels to flourish on the inside when I’m faced with challenge and adversity that are larger than me. And then… Then I step forward with a positive attitude and a clean, yet faithful heart. 🌱 #cultivatelife #justlive

Spirit

I Cried

AmandaLeave a comment

I cried on the train this morning. I cried on the train this morning because it’s time to take another risk… Another gamble… Another giant leap of faith forward with God.

And you know what? That’s still challenging for me.

It’s still challenging to go, “You want me to do what next?! I’m tired of this journey. It’s long. It feels fruitless and frustrating at times. And do you see the world God? Wickedness is prospering like wildfire. The masses are distracted by the illusion of “life.” People are sick from the inside out. People are claiming “love” when it’s really just tolerance and acceptance. People have forgotten about YOU!!! When does it end? When does your Spirit breakthrough so healing can begin?!?!”

So I cried on the train this morning.

And then I felt a little bit better. And I wiped my tears out from under my big, brownish colored sunglasses. And I moved forward. I moved forward in the best way I know… With all of the faith, hope and love Father God has stored deep inside of me. 🌱 #cultivatelife #justlive

Body · soul · Spirit

A Decade in the Making

AmandaLeave a comment

Okay… Today, I hit the decade mark of losing 100 lbs! So… What does it mean to me to look at the girl on the left, the young woman on the right and the woman in the middle? Well… To me the three make up a cultivated lifestyle of restoration and freedom.

When I finished losing the weight, I didn’t realize I’d spend the next 10 years allowing Jesus to refine, develop, mature and grow me as a whole.

So when I look at these three photos I don’t see me… Instead I see Him… I see what He’s done in me.

You see, He’s taken a girl who was incredibly insecure, fearful, anxious, prideful, selfish, jealous and bitter… And He’s transformed her into a woman that’s confident, secure, courageous, at peace with the unknown, humble (I still struggle), selfless, grateful and full of joy towards others and myself!

When I started this journey I thought I knew Jesus. I thought I knew Father God. I thought I knew the Holy Spirit. I grew up believing in them, but life and death have taught me that I didn’t know them at all because I hadn’t experienced them on a personal level.

So today I can confidently say they are my foundation and source of life. Together, they constantly keep me strong, healthy and secure. While the past versions of me desperately searched for identity and security, today I believe I stand still on the truth that I can’t be shaken, tossed or turned. My life and all that I am is in Him.

And while the world around me continues to try to show me why I’m not thin enough, thick enough, tan enough, flawless enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, successful enough or even “godly” enough… Well guess what? His opinion of me is all that matters. And He says, “You’re more than enough Amanda because I’ve helped you become a new creation and given you new life through Christ.” 🌱 #cultivatelife

soul · Spirit

It’s Fixed!

AmandaLeave a comment

It’s fixed.

My heart… it’s fixed.

How do I know it’s fixed? I know it’s fixed because I moved forward in life. I spoke to the fear that was trying to convince me to not move forward. I told it to sit down and shut up. I told it that it no longer has power in my life. I told it that I am a whole and complete person without the idols and lies of my past. I told it that I don’t need nor welcome it’s company anymore.

And then I did something… I stepped out again. I stepped out and stepped forward into a completely unknown and unfamiliar arena of life.

You see over the past several months I’ve been allowing God to heal my heart of some deep and delicate pain. Pain that I wasn’t really aware was there. I thought it was gone. I thought I’d dealt with my past.

But you know… Allowing God to work with me and help me process the past has really opened me up to my present and my future. I’ve never felt so capable of thriving like I do in this moment.

And I’m sure there will be moments when my past fears try to break in and lurk around in the depth of my heart. But then I’m even more certain that my healthy heart has the ability to really gain strength now. Strength that will tell my past to stay… Well in the past. 🌱 #cultivatelife

soul · Spirit

Without the Idol

AmandaLeave a comment

I discovered a fear embedded deep within me. I discovered a fear embedded deep within me and it has to go.

It has to go because I need to be free so I can move forward in life.

You see I used to be very good about idolizing people. I used to place all of my faith and myself into humans that didn’t ever deserve that kind of affection and desire because they are HUMAN.

The downfall to all of this is the reality of my fear. Deep within me, I feel that I can’t move forward because the idol is gone but then I’m still convinced I need the idol to be successful.

My soul is lying to me though. And I’m certain I see the truth. I’m certain that I need to move forward without this fear. But a huge piece of me believes I will fail if I move forward without the idol.

But yesterday I made myself sit down and make a list of everything I’ve done in life without the idol. And guess what? The list was long. The list was strong. The list made me realize that I’ve been successfully moving forward without the idol and I need to continue to do so.

And I don’t know if this makes sense to you, but if you’ve ever placed someone on a pedestal in your life then you’ll understand how challenging it can be to move forward without the words they’ve spoken dictating your actions and choices. And so, I hope… I truly hope you can find it within yourself to allow faith and hope in God to become a stronger guide than any human can ever be. And then I hope you move forward and amaze yourself with the things you can accomplish… Freed from every idol that ever held you captive by fear and lies. 🌱 #cultivatelife

Spirit

The Best Way

AmandaLeave a comment

About 7 years ago I was in college, working on something God had me put my entire self into. The idea He gave me seemed simple; however, I never realized how often I would think about the words He gave me to live by.

“Amanda, the journey you’re about to go on will be very challenging. You can move forward or backward, and you can walk away with what you’ve gained at anytime. However, the goal is to keep moving forward… You must keep moving forward so you can master this ancient way of life. It is the best way.”

In the moment He gave me this wisdom I thought, “This is going to be SO cool and SO much fun! Why would I ever want to quit and walk away? Why would I ever want to move backward?”

It’s funny though… Here I am 7 years later and I have so many moments when I want to just quit and walk away with everything God has given me. I want to take these precious stones of wisdom and just go live my own life. I mean… I’ve gained so much intangible wealth from Him… So do I really need to keep moving forward?!

But then I know the task He gave was to master the lifestyle so then I can give it away to others. Which is why I always stay on the path… I always keep moving forward because I haven’t reached the place where I can fully give what my heart desires to give.

And I don’t know if I’m making any sense; however, what I’m trying to say is this… Living a Spirit led life is the utmost challenging way of life. So many other lifestyles constantly pull at us on a daily basis, reminding us why we should or could stop following the Spirit. But then… Well if we do stop, well I believe our spirit will become stagnant and dull. I believe it will be overcome with soulish comments, questions and concerns. And most importantly, I believe we will begin to die. Maybe not a physical death, but a spiritual one for sure.

So please, be encouraged to always keep pursuing the Holy Spirit and His ways. 🌱🌷 #cultivatelife