Anger has been coursing through my veins lately… And while I do realize that the anger is only really harming me, I don’t want to make peace with it. Instead, I keep hoping that it will eventually touch the person I’m angry with and make that person feel pain too.
Life just feels so unfair and unjust sometimes. And I guess the unfairness and injustice I feel has led to my anger.
I’m having a hard time making peace with it too. It constantly runs circles in my mind, and throws my emotions for a whirl.
A wise person said, “Amanda, the unfairness you feel is a result of brokenness and incompleteness. You’re seemingly whole in God and you’re angry because you want that for this person. The amount of brokenness and incompleteness is hurting you. You have to let go and move forward.”
And while I know all of these things are true, sometimes it’s just so challenging to move forward. You know?
And then when I seemingly do… When I’ve made peace… Well there are always these little voices that pop up and remind me of the past. Saying things like, “Well what about this time when this person hurt you here and made you feel so small, insecure and incomplete. Be angry with the life you’ve been robbed of Amanda. Be angry.”
But you know, I’m just so tired of this rollercoaster. And so I’m trying… I’m truly trying to get off of this ride so I can move forward towards the life God continues to unfold in front of me 🌷🙌🏻 #cultivatelife
Have you ever been in a moment in life where you’ve had to put something valuable to rest? It may be a person, a place or a thing… But the reality is that you have to let go of it with the idea that you may never cross paths with it again.
You see a few years ago I had to do this… I had to let go of some valuable people in my life. I had to completely empty my hands so I could pick up my next assignment.
And honestly, it wasn’t very easy to let go of these people because they helped shape my life in such a pivotal way. But… God asked me to let go of them. So, I did. I walked away with a grateful heart and my head held high, knowing I had completed His task and grown in ways I never imagined.
So it feels kind of strange to be in this moment today. A moment where someone I held dear has been placed back into my life.
And I don’t know what the purpose behind all of it is. God doesn’t always include me in the details… but I do know that life has changed and here I am with this person in my life again.
And, well I just feel grateful and encouraged. Grateful that my past has reconnected with my present, and encouraged to live a lifestyle of letting go of valuable things God says to let go of.
So if you’re in this place where you need to let go of something… Then please, please be encouraged to let go of the valuable things in your hands. It might feel challenging, and you might wonder how you’ll move forward next… But I promise He has a plan and a way. And… you never know, that valuable person, place or thing could make it’s way back into you one day. ☺️💃🏻 #cultivatelife
Walking… Walking has produced more life and goodness in my life than I ever thought possible.
Now I don’t mean physical walking; although it’s great too.
I mean spiritual walking.
I mean the walk of life.
You see I believe the cultivation of life is a process that takes time, and it’s also a process that asks us to just walk. Not to run. Not to sprint. Not to become overly stressed, anxious and afraid that we’re moving too slow because the world around us is moving so fast… But to just walk. To just take in the reality that we are created to be and to take one step forward (no matter how big or small) at a time.
So if you feel overwhelmed… If you feel like you aren’t doing enough… If you feel like you’re missing out on peace and harmony… Then just know God’s only ever asked us to walk.
*See video for more about the walking journey of life!
“Stay in today Amanda. It’s more than enough. You are more than enough.”
That’s been my constant vibe for the past two days. A resounding of “You have to move forward, but you need to be fully present in every moment.”
Is it tricky? Yeah, honestly it is. It’s very tricky to set goals and move towards more, all while being present in the moment.
But yea know? I believe it can become easier as I move with it. I believe that the trickiness of the present, paired with the future can become a simple way of life.
So, I’m going to try it a little longer… Being here, while I want to be there. Taking life one little step at a time. 🌼🌿💃🏻
Why is it that as we get closer to the things of the Lord doubt beings to slip in?
It’s like there are all these years of following and searching and building and hoping and praying… And then right as you can feel the pulse of things starting to come together in a real way, doubt sneaks in. He sticks his head into your mind and says, “But what if? What if you’re wrong? What if it’s not going to happen? What if you’re waisting your time? What if you get disappointed and have to stop completely?”
Actually, now that I think about it, doubt in my life is always a “what if?” But then the words of God are never a “what if?” Actually I don’t think I’ve ever heard God speak in terms of “what if?” He’s a pretty concrete dude…. With many sides and angles, but He’s never there to lead us into a place of “what if?”
So how do I combat the “what if?” Well I believe I fight it with the truth God has actually spoken into my heart and life over the years. And then I choose to stay really close to Him and His voice in moments like this. Because, in truth, I want what He wants because I know it is good and prosperous and for His Kingdom alone.