Money or God?

As many of you know, I always try to be as transparent as I can when I share anything. However, there’s one topic in my life I don’t share about too often because the war with it has been long and intense at times.

You see I’ve been wagging war with money for a while now. It’s been this constant dance of, “Who will Amanda foundationaly worship and praise: Money or God?”

And I get it… Social media makes things look like I have it all together in this area; however, what if I told you my life constantly asks that I take a gamble with God every single day for provision? What if I told you that I don’t have the promise of a paycheck, but that I completely trust He is going to provide what I need when I need it? What if I told you I’ve learned I don’t need more than half of the things my culture keeps telling me I need?

Then what would you think?

You see I’ve come to a place in life where my cost of living is low. Money doesn’t move me with excitement or fear the way it used to. And the idea of living large is so unappealing. Actually living large at the cost of my doing sounds more like a prison than a palace. It sounds like an endless lifestyle of death and destruction… Something that gives a false illusion of power, based around the way I choose to hustle in life.

But then there’s this other path… This path to prosperity. And when I say prosperity, I mean having more than what I need. Which doesn’t include 6 cars, 2 boats and 3 houses. It more so means having more than enough in a simple setting… Like two shades of lipstick to choose from over one. Or, three beverage options in my fridge over two.

And I don’t know if you get where I’m coming from at all… But I do believe if we are ever going to truly allow God to be the foundation, security and focal point of our lives, then we have to let go of this idea of having money as a savior, lover or intimate friend. We have to be willing to constantly live around our needs, rather than our dire wants. And, most importantly, we have to be willing to trust Him when He says, “I will provide. Just create, live and cultivate life to the best of your ability.” 🌱 #cultivatelife #justlive

 

When Do I Get My Mom Back?…

Can I ask a really real question for a moment?…

Life… Can you pause yourself for a moment and answer a question for me?…

When does my dads death stop killing my moms joy, happiness and life?…

When does she start living again?… When will she figure out what’s next and how to move forward?…

Because, I’m gonna be real honest, I miss my mom… Sometimes I miss her more than I miss my dad… And I talk to her a lot… But she’s so different… She’s so sad…

The death of my father and my aunt have kind of placed her in a sad place in life… And I just want to know, when will she be happy again?… When will life be a place of joy and excitement for her?…

Because this has gone on long enough…

And I get it, grief is different for everyone… Everyone heals at a different rate… But I just miss my mom… I miss her excitement for life… I miss her discernment over life… I miss her joy for simple things like plants… 

So I just need to know… When do I get my mom back?…