The Process Continues…

I’m gonna be really honest… I don’t like to lose…

Losing is … Well it’s losing… It means so many things at one time…

And, other than being a cheerleader in high school, I’ve never been a part of a sports team… But I did go to a winning high school and college… So, as a fan, winning is something that resonates with me often…

But then, what about those moments when we lose… Like last night… BAMA had an undefeated season and we lost on the greatest stage in college football…

And I don’t discredit Clemson at all, I think the game was great and they deserved to win… But it doesn’t take away from the fact that we did loose… And now we have to wait until August for another shot…

Which is why,  for so many reasons, I am still learning that failing, losing, making mistakes, having someone that’s just a little bit better is healthy… It’s good for my spirit and soul… Because it teaches me that life is a process…

BAMA will have another chance… In my opinion, they train and play a better game than a lot of teams… And I love the mentality Saban has instilled into his players…

So, to me, losing won’t define the team or the fact that we are still champions at heart…

Because sometimes that’s that the process life brings us to… We come to a season in life where we’ve been winning more than seems fair, and then life happens… Someone is a little bit better or we aren’t prepared… Sometimes we are just young and immature…

And because of that immaturity, we need several months or years to grow and become more well-rounded, well-adjusted leaders…

And that’s really, truly frustrating in so many ways… But, I believe, if we trust God… If we trust ourselves… If we trust that we are working simultaneously with God in life to accomplish what’s best, well then I believe He will give us another shot… Another opportunity, at some point, to win…

And sometimes, winning at life is as simple as cultivating a lifestyle of forgiveness and grace… Other times it might mean moving forward with our goals and dreams… And then maybe it might actually mean getting another shot at the National Championship…

What ever the case might be, I believe the way we respond to it all is so important… Because our response when we are down reveals who we are on the inside… It is a real character defining moment… A moment that I believe should encourage us to allow the process of life to continue…

Life, the process…

img_2628Life… A journey… A process… A continual climbing of mountains and walks through valleys, with a lot of highs and lows…

I believe every person on earth experiences it… This thing called life…

And while some are flourishing and truly thriving, others are languishing and searching for significance…

I also believe it’s possible to thrive in several areas, but then completely coast through and feel lost and confused in others…

For me, well it’s a moment-by-moment choice… And some moments feel longer and more confusing than others…

And with the cultivation of life, I also believe a change in seasons happens a lot… And some of those seasons can seem so long and boring… And their length requires patience…

Patience of the soul… Because our minds, emotions and the human will want to control it all… They want to move forward with the way the rest of the world is moving…

And in an age of instant gratification… Well, sometimes it’s truly easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle… To feel like we have to move from one thing to another, without slowing down to rest…

In this season of life, I’ve learned that rest is so important…

Because for me, well rest can often times feel uncomfortable… I like to be around people… I like to be doing a million things at once… I left an environment full of constant, quick motion… Always running and running…

And so slowing down, well it’s been a bit of a challenge for me…

It’s been a challenge to take every day as it’s given, and trust that God is going to reveal everything I need in that day, for that day… And that I’m going to grow accordingly…

And honestly… Honestly, I have no idea how long this season is going to last… But in the midst of it all my heart has changed so very much…

Because the ups and downs of the mountain I am on have allowed me to see life in a way I’ve never seen it before… I feel like a different person… I closer version of myself than I’ve ever been before… Truly, more authentic to the way I was actually created to be…

And, so… Though I have no idea how much longer this will all last, I am confident that the change inside of me is real, genuine and true… And because of that, well I’ll just keep firm to the process…

 

More Movement…

IMG_7936
Father’s Day is now just another day to me… And it will probably be that way until I am married with children…

And though it could be sad… Well I choose to look for the good…

And the good… Well the good shows me how grateful I am to have a Heavenly Father…

Because regardless of the situations life throws my way, He loves me…

So many transitions are going on in my life… Really in the foundation of my life…

The core of my family, on both sides, it’s shaking…

It’s been shaken… And I believe it will continue to shake as the year progresses…

Because… I believe God is taking His people… Those who are truly following Him with their entire heart… I believe He’s shaking things up… Moving life around… That He’s removing pieces inside some of us that will not be able to stand in the world that is coming…

And as He removes these pieces… As our faith is shifted and questioned… As we are asked to determine what we believe and why we choose to stay positive and uplifted…

Well I believe He is filling us with new grace… New levels of His love… More humility… More laughter… And an increased want and desire to live…

To live well…

Of course… We don’t have to choose it… We can live in the sadness, depression, anger and bitterness with the loss of loved ones… Of the uncertainty and question of tomorrow…

But, then, well what’s the point of being alive at all?.. What’s the point of living if we choose to cultivate a life of death and destruction?..

And though it doesn’t always seem easy to find and live with peace, joy, grace, forgiveness, love… And all of the good things that come with Father God… It is possible…

And… Since it is possible… We should at least try…

Uninvited… 

Carrying around the love of God on the inside seems simple…

You go about your day enjoying the goodness of God… The awe of who He is and what it means to be His child…

But over the last three days or so I’ve learned something…

Something about the personality of the Father… And how sensitive He is…

I didn’t get invited to a birthday party… A party for someone I love so much… And honesty…. Well it hurt…

So in the midst of the hurt… In the midst of the thoughts that said, “But I love them and so much of my life… Of me went into that environment”…Well I found myself with a new perspective…

That perspective is this…

I assume… Since God is everywhere… That He is going to just automatically show up when He wants…

And because He talks to me throughout the day… Well I never realized He needed an invitation…

But that changed yesterday… For the first time I realized… The feelings I was having… We’re also feelings God has been having towards me…

I felt sad… Disappointed… And altogether let down… Because I wasn’t invited into an environment I poured my heart and my life into…

And I believe this is how God feels… He pours His thoughts, wisdom, love and grace into me constantly… And I speak to Him… I ask for His casual opinion… But then I hold Him back from being invited into the celebration of my day… Into the awe and thrill of the moment I may be having…

It’s like He’s worked so hard to help me become me… To place so much of Himself inside of me… And to give me the best life possible…

And then I choose to uninvite Him… I choose to go about the day… And if it’s blissful and amazing, well then I’ll thank Him… And if it’s treacherous and challenging, well I complain or ask Him “what’s the deal”…

But I don’t ever just flat out say, “Hey, God we’ve been doing life together… We’ve been on this amazing journey… You’ve taught me some amazing things… And you continue to show me what I good Father you are… Would you actually like to be invited into all of the moments I have each day?.. Like officially invited?…”

I never do that…

And honestly… The feeling of being uninvited to celebrate someone you love… Well it sucks… It hurts…

But then I guess it’s one more reason I’m encouraged to invite Him a long…

To invite Him as I just continue to live…