challenge · keep moving forward · seasons

Seasonal Milestones

It’s dark, tight and completely isolated, but not in a divisive, evil or wicked way. More so in a deeply concealed and ingeniously crafted manner.

I am confident. I am strong. I firmly believe moving forward with great courage and tremendous hope is the only way now.

And I hear Him saying, “Run with perseverance. Run hard. Do not look to the left or to the right with jealousy, pride and covetous. Do not look behind in grief, disappointment and frustration. Do not look ahead with fear, unbelief and worry. Instead, run with perseverance. It’s going to take everything I’ve deposited in the depths of you to breakthrough into the next season.”

But then I do ponder past seasons… So intricately and carefully designed, they are eternal fuel firing from the depths of my spirit, heart and soul. They are calling me higher and propelling me forward.

Actually, the past seasons of refinement, development, maturity and growth appear to be indispensable and multifaceted gifts… Gifts that have actually morphed into the faith I need to keep picking up the assignment of forward movement. 

And I’m sharing this with you because I understand how challenging it is to hear Holy Spirit’s voice and then blindly follow His very unknown, uncertain and ever-evolving ways for years without breakthrough. I understand how challenging it can feel to wonder, “How much longer until we reach the promises You hold so dear to Your heart God.” But then I am also beginning to embrace that I’ve needed each season He’s led me to and led me through in the past. Because each season, each season is a milestone. Milestones filled with intricate chaos. Milestones dashed with process and progress. Milestones that have cultivated the very faith my spirit, heart and soul need to finish this leg of the race! 🌱 #cultivatelife

heart · seasons

Inner Entail

New month… New season… New people… New places… New ideas… The past is gone and all is new now.
I don’t know what is next exactly, but I do intend on following God with my entire heart. I feel a little bit afraid. Actually I’m caught between fear and faith… This place inside of me that says, “You need to chose faith, but you’re leaning towards fear. Come back to the faith. Use it instead.”
It’s strange and somewhat different.
Where am I headed with God though? That is the real question in my heart. That is always the question of my heart. Where are He and I going and what will be gained from the jounrey to the destination? How well will I follow? I’m so unsure of the answers, but I’m so excited to learn what it will all entail… 🌌♥️ #cultivatelife #justlive
challenge · cultivation · fear · seasons

Process: Seasonal

How many times have you heard, “God works in seasons?” Because I’ve heard it for as long as I can remember. And though I don’t fully understand why He created the world to experience seasons…. I do see that our existence as humans is very similar.

Now, the catch is to stay moving with the seasons… To not become stagnant, but to keep moving forward as the Spirit leads.

So then what does it mean to move with His process? Well I believe we have to embrace what He’s given us within each moment.

You see if you’re anything like me then you’re constantly anticipating the future. I live in the future most of the time…. Hoping and creating something much more exciting than my present. However, we can’t get to the future God has for us if we can’t complete the season He’s placed us in in the present.

And I get it… It’s a challenge to be in certain seasons of life He’s placed us in because the growth is challenging and uncomfortable. But you know?… I’ve also learned that if we just choose to submit to where He has us then we will learn the lesson and then be able to move forward to the next season quickly.

Yeah… That’s right. I believe if we can just embrace the healing, restoration, growth and maturity that needs to take place inside of us, then He’ll move us forward to the next thing.

And I know it’s not always a walk in the park. Some seasons of life are like Summer… They’re warm, bright and very friendly… But then others are like Winter… Dark, depressing and oh so cold.

But if we can just live in them fully, we will get to the next destination of our journey with life and God. 🌷 #cultivatelife #justlive

death

Seasonal Grief…

IMG_1214I’m in a place right now… A place that is full of grief… Yet full of excitement…

Looking back, I’m grateful for the death of my dad and the grief I’ve felt and sometimes continue to feel…

Because within it I’ve learned something valuable… And it’s that we go through stages of grief in life a lot…

No it’s not always as intensifying loosing a loved one… But it is grief…

To me… To me it can be best described as the feelings we get when a season is coming to an end…

Like when summer is almost over… Fall can be felt in the air… And we want to start dressing a little warmer… But then summer reminds us how amazing it is… It reminds us of all the moments we’ve spent in the heat, by the pool just laughing…

And we realize that no summer will ever be like the one before… Because we will grow and change… And a new adventure will be waiting within the next one…

And that’s what I feel right now… This seasonal grief…

It says, “move onto the next season with excitement, but hang onto these last few moments of value”…

Because to me these last few moments… The ones that I might’ve hated before… Well now they are valuable to be… And it hurts my heart to see them go…

It hurts my heart to move forward… But then again… That’s life… And that’s part of the journey… The ups and the downs… The roller coaster… The climb of the mountain…

It’s what makes things so unbearably exciting, yet so real and heartbreaking…

And I know this time will pass… And I will be consumed by the new excitements and the growth of it all…

But right now… Right now this seasonal grief is what I feel… And I believe it’s healthy to just live with it…

Spirit

This Season…

IMG_9284

What happens when you reach a point in life… A place that is signaling transition… But you can’t exactly put your finger on that transition… And you don’t know where to go…

That’s where I find myself… In the midst of knowing deep within myself that transition is entering in my life… But I don’t know how or on what way…

It’s kind of like the feeling we get as winter ends and spring begins… Some days are filled with cold, dry air… But then there are those signs of budding flowers all around… And with that, well we know nothing can stay dead too much longer… Because with spring there will be new life… New life and new perspective…

And that’s how I feel… I feel as though so many areas of my life have been in the season of “winter”… And I thought, because I couldn’t see life, that those areas were dead…

After all… I left them there to die… I walked away from them all two years ago… I deleted and burned and told so many parts of the life that I was living “bye”…

But now… Now it seems as though they were only sleeping… That they never left me… That they were there all along.. That they can’t leave me because they are the life I love to live… The lifestyle I’ve cultivated…

And so… I guess as I enter this new season… A season that seems as though it’s coming back to life… I’ll enter this season with the ideas of transition… But the hope of so much…

And I believe that’s the best way I can just live right now…