anointing · courage · faith · family · follow · healing · listen · miracle

Walking with Healing…

The environment I grew up in was one where healing was a common thing…. Probably from the age of two, I was taught that healing is real… And that it’s meant for our world…

Because of my grandmother’s story, I was encouraged to learn all that I could from her about the power of healing…

And over the years I’ve seen lives transformed externally as well as internally…

Well… Three weeks ago I hurt my foot… Unsure of how it happened, I ran on it for 3 days anyway (I am very hardheaded)… Of course the pain was there… And it increased every time I put pressure on it… But I just kept hoping it would go away… Thinking, “oh this won’t last forever”…

By the third day, wearing heels wasn’t even an option… So I settled for sandals and went to church…

Before church even started I heard God start in on me, “Tonight Amanda. I need you to do this tonight”… And by the tone in His voice, I could already tell it wasn’t something I particularly wanted to do…

As the service went on, I knew what He needed and I argued with Him… Back and forth we went over it all… I finally came to a place in my heart and said, “Ok, God… If this is what you want, then you give me your peace and boldness to do it”…

By the end of the service, I decided, “Well, I guess I’ll do it”… So I got up, walked over to the person and spoke exactly what the Holy Spirit put on my heart for the man…

Like that it was done… No more words were spoken, just an in and out type of job…

On the walk back to the car, Bridge and I discussed how happy we were that I finally did this (God put it on my heart 9 months ago)… So I was just happy it was over…

As I sat down in the car, I stretched out my legs and realized… My foot, the pain… It was gone… I rolled my foot around, searching for pain… But nothing was there…

Just a perfectly healthy foot… That ironically was made well, 41 years to the night my grandmother went searching for an answer for my father… But then found herself miraculously healed…

Of course Bridge and I laughed about it all… Especially the irony…

But really, in truth… Well I realized so much that night…

Most importantly, somewhere in the midst of that hour and a half, I let go of a piece of myself… I set my own goals aside for a moment and just followed through with God’s… My thoughts that are always focused on my agenda were laid to the side long enough for me to actually deliver a message for God…

And, in response, my foot was healthy and whole again… Like nothing ever happened before…

And I guess this moment inspires me… Because it’s caused me to look inside of myself and wonder, “Why is my selfish agenda so important?… Why do I constantly need to fulfill what I want?… And how can I create and live a lifestyle that is about fulfilling what God needs?… Also, how can what God needs become what I need too?”…

change · refine · shaken · unshaken

Like the Ocean’s Tide…

So it’s been a full week of what I consider serious revelation… Of what feels to be an almost purging of my soul…

And then I had a dream last night… In the dream, at certain periods of the night, water would flood in through cracks in my walls… The water height in the room wasn’t a lot at first… And it drained out like the ocean tide after rushing in…

But as it drained… It would drag things stored under the bed with it…

The floods became multiple… And then big boxes under the bed started to disintegrate…

It’s like I would lay there, hear the water flood in and then watch it rush out as it took things stored underneath with it…

At one point, the water came up to the top of my bed and rushed over the surface…

It tried to pull my journals away… But I grabbed them quickly… Unfortunately the ink on the inside was smeared everywhere… So I had no idea what they said anymore… No idea what my mind was thinking in those moments of life… Or even how I felt…

And I feel like that’s where I am right now spiritually… That this belief system I’m comfortably laying on is going through some serious changes…

That a tide-like thing is washing away what doesn’t need to be there…

And as parts of my belief system disintegrate, they quickly become nothing more than piles of trash, junk…

And then my thoughts that pair with my beliefs… Things I value so much and hold dear… Well it feels like it doesn’t matter how hard I hold onto them… Because, like in the dream, once the water has touched them… They don’t make clear sense anymore…

And this of course makes me somewhat nervous… Because in the midst of it all… Well I feel very detached… Like I’m floating around… And I’m unsure of what is actually solid and stable still…

Spirit

Under the Tent…

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I was raised under a tent… A tent that brings life… A tent that brings comfort… A tent that showed me who my best friend would be for the rest of my life and how he would never leave me… And I would never leave him…

The tent I am referring to is one that contained and still contains the spirit of the most high God…

As children, we don’t always necessarily understand the environment we’re raised in… Because, to us… Well it’s all we know…

And for years I listened… I watched… I knew the Spirit of God was a he and not an it… For to call him an it means “you don’t know him”….

And then there were the years… Few… But impactful… That I spited and loathed the environment that poured and produced religion in my life and the lives of others…

But as all should, I’ve matured… And now I stand at a place where I feel overwhelmingly grateful for the tent I was raised in… Because… Again… It’s all my foundation knows it needs to make it firm and complete…

And now… Now more than ever… I feel encouraged to share what I learned under this tent…

It taught me that it’s not Jesus that lives in my heart… It’s the Spirit of God…. He’s the one that dwells inside of me… That speaks to me… That gives me power to pair with the authority given through the blood of Jesus…

And he’s so tired… Irritated because he’s been forgotten… Frustrated because he’s been mistaken and overlooked… Because it’s his will to lead and direct us in life… Not Jesus and not God… But the Holy Spirit…

So why?… Why do we choose to overlook him so?… Why can’t we simply put down our religion and listen?… Listen to what he gives us everyday…. Because he… He is as real as anything I’ve ever known… And he’s never steered me wrong… Even when I think “this was a mistake”… He’s always been there saying “just trust me”…

So… Today… I hope… I hope all begin to recognize him in his fullness… For he is about to be unleashed from the tent I was raised in… And he’s about to show himself in a powerful way…

And as all best friends should do… I feel grateful and blessed enough to encourage and help him make his works a reality…